Ok MNers, I've been considering posting this thread for some weeks now and have finally got frustrated enough to do it. So - tough love needed please.
I really fancy a guy at work. Am 99.9% sure he likes me too. We've worked together for over a year but the flirtation has only been going on for about 10 weeks. We drunkenly kissed at the end of a work evening out - that's what started things.
The next day I did the whole 'oh I was so drunk last night' thing, basically because I'd never thought of him like that before and I was a bit embarrassed. So he got the impression I wasn't interested, I think.
But since then the flirting and chemistry has ramped up to the point that everyone else we work with has noticed and it's become pretty full on and, tbh, embarrassing - I hate feeling I'm being gossiped about.
But - here's the rub - he hasn't asked me out. We've been out for work drinks with colleagues several times since then and nothing has happened. Each time, he spends the whole evening talking just to me, lots of chemistry and eye contact, but we never seem to actually make a move on each other.
The latest time was last night. I am sick of this now. I would rather he left me alone and didn't fancy me than continue like this. It is driving me batty quite frankly.
One further consideration (trying not to drip feed): I recently got a BIG promotion which means I will be leaving his department next month and won't see him from one day to the next. I am wondering whether he's either intimidated by this (I will be in a much higher status role than him, in terms of internal politics, kudos etc), or he's waiting for me to move jobs so that if things go wrong or I turn him down, he won't have to work with me every day.
On the other hand I just keep thinking, keep it simple, stop making excuses for him: if he liked me, he would have done something about it by now. He hasn't, so he's clearly just not that into me.
All my female friends reckon they had to make a move on their partners and I should just bite the bullet and ask him out. I did vaguely say something a couple of weeks ago about 'would he like to go for a drink' when he gets back from holiday (he has been away for the last couple of weeks), and he said yes definitely when he gets back. Yesterday was his first day back, we were in the pub all evening and he didn't mention it at all. Is that a hint that I should just drop the idea?
Aaaargh.
Seriously, tough love needed. Should I try and push it forward, should I tell him to stop flirting because it's making me uncomfortable at work, should I just be zen-like calm and professionalism and write the whole thing off? Or should I be patient and wait and see what happens when I move jobs?
Help please!
PS. Yes we are definitely both single!
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Relationships
Help please! Flirtation with a guy at work
SomewhereBeyondTheSea · 07/11/2013 10:39
oops worng thread! 
stull they are good reads op if you need a distraction!
Glaikit - as I said before, he doesn't check his email much. It's hard to explain without explaining what we do and outing me
I've emailed him before and he hasn't seen it. So I don't really think that will work.
Not sure what is going on now tbh. Really don't want to ask him out in front of everyone. Am probably just going to leave it for a while and see how things go - have spent enough time angsting over this!
Oh bloody hell! PM me his phone number and I'll ring him for you! 
Can I make a suggestion? Go out and date some other guys. Whether it be a blind date through a friend or a few dates through a dating agency, just start having dome fun with some other men.
IME guys seem to have a sixth sense for when girls they like are being wooed by other men, hoe many times have you just started seeing a new man when your ex suddenly gets in touch? Happens all the time! So be a honey pot for a while and if he is an interested bee he will be abuzzing in your direction in no time
Seems to be what ALWAYS happens to me
I've been 'the one who got away' for several guys. It's bloody frustrating. And yes I know it's probably because I'm so shit at making a move on guys I like .... Then I move on and afterwards they give it a shot. Grr.
So, I took the opportunity of running it past a colleague who is a mutual friend of both of us. She said he does like me BUT he is still messed up about his ex (who dumped him last winter after a serious live-in 'forever' relationship) and so he's equivocating. She also reckons that, because he's a pretty independent type, me trying to move things forward is only going to make him more hesitant. So she said - and this is where my instincts were leading already - I should just back off, leave him to it, get on with my life and if it's meant to be, he'll reach a point where he's 'over it' enough to feel ready for something new. If that's with me, great - but obviously I'm not going to stop lookin elsewhere in the meantime
So - not a great ending to this story I'm afraid. Sorry I couldn't deliver a happy ending for you all, you've been so supportive. But I'm really glad that I have some idea what's going on and, most importantly, know how to handle it going forward. That at least feels like a bit of a relief.
But DID HE GET YOUR CARD???
I just think it's a bit weird that if he did, he's not mentioned it.
I have no idea tbh. It doesn't really matter though, does it. He knows I'm interested (or else he wouldn't have discussed it with mutual friend - clearly). I'm not in the business of being 'the rebound girl' and even if he wanted me to be, he knows it would be a disastrous idea since we work together (albeit in different departments shortly). You don't want to have to worry about who's going to turn up at the pub on a Friday night in case it's your ex-rebound girl I can understand that. I'd rather not get involved than be a casual fling.
PS. If anyone anywhere near London has any hot single male friends who fancy a blind date, I could really do with one sometime soon
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Precisely 
He has a lot left to sort out in his life by the sounds of it. He's a nice guy, I genuinely do want the best for him (even though I feel a little miffed right now) - and I've had so much good luck this year with my big promotion and all that. I don't feel I have much right to complain about this outcome tbh.
I'm just going to focus on having a great holiday and then when I get back, my new job will monopolise my attention so I'll focus on that for the next few months (it's one of those BIG opportunities).
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