The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The *Wine Witch* Into Touch, Because Enough Is Enough!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse :)

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits towards alcohol, or/and drugs.

Even if you think that you are drinking more tonight than last night or this week than last, come and have a chat, find a seat, we don't bite!

We are a supportive Bus, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now :) and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Support Teams or even your own GP.

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus as it's going to be cold tonight! Brrrr!

And, if you'd like to read back over some of our history, HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And, HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We hope to meet you soon :) xxx

Ps beaches I will join you in a dry November if that's ok with you!

Thanks Beaches. Well done for holding out yesterday - despite others drinking. It does affect your mood sometimes but it is worth it in the end. Good luck for today. x

I drank last night. I wish I could bottle exactly how awful I have felt today. It's been disgusting. Why can't I just remember this feeling in 3 days time. Why on earth is it so hard to give up? Anyway, off to AA on Monday and I certainly won't be tempted to drink tonight.
Have a good Saturday babes xx

Day four here. Slight wobble, h kept asking if I wanted him to get some wine. Said no without engaing in the conversation so no chance to change my mind. Funny thing though, I woke up thinking I'd had a drink, was such a relief when I remembered I hadn't!

Morning BOING BOING!!! have been up since stupid o'clock with ds. sigh.

We saw the Dr again yesterday and he said just come back for a check up in a months time- I was finally able to relax after that.phew.

Annie and isinde please,please stick with it. You have both done so well. I always found myself at the 'I need a reward' stage after some af days but when I caved in it meant having to go through the whole cycle over and sodding well over again. By 2 weeks there was a really strong urge to have 1 drink,just the one. I know what happens when I have 1,the next night I have more,then more then by the end of a week I'm back where I started.See it through and it gets better, the cravings will go.
isinde you sound calm

Well done all. If you drank yesterday then how about making today a fresh start? Hope everyone feels well and strong ready to tackle the ww. Apologies for not NC- happy weekend all.

How strange, I dreamt about my first love last night and it was one if those lovesick relationships where he had all the power. I was needy and couldn't stop myself trying to win his love, despite him being a bastard. The dream brought it all back and after reading your post isinde I think that may be exactly what my relationship to alcohol is like. Despite knowing better, I keep trying to make it work out differently.. Very interesting analogy and FWIW I was so relived when the first love was finally over (after the heartache of course)

this I would love some company on dry November

Thanks purple, i didn't handle it very well last night but no damage done. I hope you use some of your kindness and forgiveness on yourself, you deserve it too xx

Take care all.

I have come the conclusion it's the habit of drinking I'm addicted to just like smoking was before I gave that up! It's amazing day 3 AF I went swimming day 4 today I've been gym and my zest for life is back I'm living proof to all on day 1 that day 3 isn't a million miles away I feel like a different person after wallowing in self pity and being anxious all the time binging for 4 days at a time now on day 4 and feeling normal x

Thank you Mouse for the welcome. Of course you are right I must be concerned and in my social circle what is "normal" is certainly not drinking within the guidelines. I suppose I grew up with an alcoholic so drink has always been an issue. I drank very little in my 20's and 30's but the wine habit started to creep in as the kids got older and people stopped going to the pub. I think my tolerance levels are high now and I need to cut back so that a bottle becomes too much. I'm going to take stock and look more critically at my consumption. For next week my plan is 4 days AF ....this is a work in progess...thanks again

Welcome blathin, good luck with your plan. I think for a lot of us drinking is something that has gradually crept up on us over the years. I know in my twenties I rarely drank and hardly ever at home. In my thirties I rarely went out and drinking at home became the norm...

Well good job I'm not drinking tonight as I'm being tested to the limits today and would likely have too much. Found out h haa been taking money from my account for his debts (nothing to do with me). He's making out it's no big deal and he forgot to say - pn fivesseparate occasions! I want rid of him but don't think it's really possible....Im stuck but at least I've not got a hangover making me feel even worse

Sorrry I should have said thank you to Insideghosttrain!

Well done this. You sound so different. Keep at it. Just Ds and I home today. Cold, rainy and dreich so we are cosying in for the rest of the day. Once he has finished his maths homework, using the cat as a table, he is going to "ribbonise" the pile of Christmas presents already bought and wrapped in plain brown paper, awaiting ribbons and tarting up. yes, I am that organised.
He is happy cutting, sticking and tying ribbons.Then he wants to light all the candles and nightlights so we can watch Strictly snuggled on the sofa. Bless his cuddly wee soul.

Hi all

I have consigned my Halloween costume to the dressing up box for another year and back in my usual guise now. It's blowing a gale here again ma so I am just waiting for dd to finish her homework for today and we are also going to snuggle down with a movie.

Well done on buying your Christmas presents already, you are organised! I've got a few birthdays to get through before I start on Christmas

Hi babes,
Had a f*ck it Friday. Feeling shite
Inspiring posts here at the Mo and so many of you kicking the ww into touch. Well done this isinde ma and so many others sorry not to nc you all. Reading your posts this evening is helping my fight with the WW tonight. So thank you allxx

Sorry, welcome blathinlots of wise babes here to help you. Not me at the moment but this is a good place to be. Keep posting and good luck with the A/F days.

How's everyone getting on this evening sober day 4 for me hope everyone's not struggling to bad this evening it's very wet and windy here pj and couch weather x

Well done indie
I am drinking tonight bit if I'm honest it was more force of habit than any burning desire. Probably could have done without if I put my' mind to it.
Had 4 AF days last week so will go for the same again this week. I'll be more than happy if I can keep that level up!

Day four nearly done. Had wobble earlier as h bought home wine - surprise, surprise - as this is his way of dealing with a problem or pacifying me. Thought I could have a glass as I originally intended to do controlled drinking. Then said to myself that that is the ww talking, I really don't want it.

It occurred to me that I used to drink, when I did, pn special occasions, happy occasions. Now I drink when I'm bored, miserable, etc and this is probably why I feel like something is missing when I do. I suppose I need to question more what I really want/need before I pick up the glass.

Onwards and upwards :)

Good evening, tis me, Mouse

blathin - no worries lovely, welcome to the bus :). I love your plan! Why? Because you've got one. xxx

rural - sweetheart you're having a properly shite time of it aren't you. :( You're doing the best you can with what you have, and still posting very honestly about struggling. Personally, well done to you!! I think you're doing ace! You're being honest with yourself and us, saying it out loud is damn hard, breakable...... stay with us Babe xxx

IsinDe - your post about finally, FINALLY seeing the best way to break the cycle, has made my day! You know that you're a 'serial offender' (I hope that you're okay with me saying it sweetheart) when it comes to drinking and I love your way of thinking, realising that for YOU, it has to be all OR nothing. No in between, no controlled (or rather not controlled) attempts followed by self loathing for days on end, arguments with DP, feeling like you're letting everyone down at times. That's not so.

You're worth soooooooooo much than you realise. You really are. I hope that you're okay with me saying this to you. I mean no malice, I heart you and will help you (as we all will I'm sure) as much as I can Brave and gorgeous Babe. It. Is. Time. xxx

This - Day 4 is awesome! Bloody well done to you! You're doing ace, really! You'll start to feel the physical benefits soon, and much more besides :) xxx

Purps - sweetheart you're doing the best you can too with the gorgeous DD of yours, I'm sure that you'll have peaks of highs which you must ride with huge pride, knowing that you've done that for her :)

It takes time, tears, tantrums from both sides, but eventually, it comes, the calm. Re the new nurse, she's my first port of call should I need supplies - tubes for his cleft, tapes, syringes etc.... I hope that we all will be happy, even with his current nurse he's off at times! Monkey!

Why - go you! I'm sure that the more hours that pass, days even, you'll feel stronger sweets xxx

Right, it's taken too long for me to post this and I've missed loads of you wonderful Babes out.

We've been away seeing fab friends that we just don't see enough oh, but Nemo really loved it and really did great given we had been at the hospital to see his SaLT. I'll read back properly tomorrow and catch up with everyone. Hello to you All :)

Lots of love,

Mouse xxx

Ex posted with you all as it took me so long to bloody post.

Well done to you Babes out there who've kicked ass tonight, those who haven't, well, tomorrow is a whole new kick ass day.

Night all xxx

You are up late Mouse!

Hi to all the other babes, on the bus, in the sidecar or running alongside.

Tonight is much calmer for me, don't feel resentful or hard done by, I am quite happy to choose a decent nights sleep. Should perhaps feel guilty about the pizza and ice cream but it is Saturday after all!

Take care all xx

Just a note to say I've had a very busy week - wow how things can change in a week Inde - lovely to see you kicking the ww in the you-know -where. And I can relate to what you say about the going sober completely rather than trying to moderate - in the end I decided to give myself a year off - and at the end of the year you know what - things were so good I really didn't want to end up back where I'd left off with the ww. I'm so much happier now as I am today. It saddens me to see the lies peddled by lazy advertising execs about alcohol - it does not enhance life - it may blur it a bit - make you feel more convivial - but in reality- it is a mood altering drug - legal - nothing more, nothing less. It does not deserve the relationship it has with our society, and in reality if it was newly discovered it would be illegal. sorry - I'll get my coat (And go for a hypocritical fag)

isinde interesting analogy about the relationship gone bad... sounds like you've been doing some deep thinking!