The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The *Wine Witch* Into Touch, Because Enough Is Enough!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse :)

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits towards alcohol, or/and drugs.

Even if you think that you are drinking more tonight than last night or this week than last, come and have a chat, find a seat, we don't bite!

We are a supportive Bus, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now :) and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Support Teams or even your own GP.

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus as it's going to be cold tonight! Brrrr!

And, if you'd like to read back over some of our history, HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And, HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We hope to meet you soon :) xxx

Good morning babes
Well done this as mouse said YOU ROCK
I will join you and isinde in going for another A/F day.
Skopelos, oh yes lets go there, I can feel the warm mountain breeze and smell the scented air. A Greek salad with some lovely black olives, olive oil and crusty bread and maybe a couple of slices of fresh picked watermelon
would be wonderful.
Lets get this bus on the road and in the air

Good night all. god I am so looking forward to waking up tomorrow not hungover. xx

Hi all, I know I don't post very often these days, but I always lurk and read, and cheer, and empathise, and silently cajole and encourage.

All has been very, very busy here, not least because I now have a grandchild (is dgc the correct terminology ??). It's a wonderful, emotional and uplifting experience which has taken me back to some of my best and worst memories. So what better excuse to celebrate with a wee glass of something? Well, no actually. What better reason to be fully conscious, to be healthy for the short term and the long term, to have energy, to be in touch with all my emotions, to be able to provide subtle support for dd and her dp, and to offer (rather late in life) a model which celebrates with smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, croissant and coffee, or which responds to stress with a 10 walk in the blustery wind.

ma, isindie, thurso, mouse special hugs to you, as ever, and wishing you all (EVERY poster) the tactics you need to beat the wine witch, the determination you need to achieve what you want, the support and encouragement you deserve, and those few glorious and peaceful relief-filled moments when you go to sleep (or wake up) knowing that for one more day you are sober and safe.

Great to hear from you venus and such a lovely insightful and supportive post.
Big congrats to you on the birth of your dgc and to DD and her dp of course. I am a grandmother 6 times over now including step gc's but it never loses its wonder and the emotional experience does not wain.
Love to you all xx

purple please don't think your problems are any less important or stressful than anyone else's. You do have a lot on your plate, and deserve a bit of TLC.

Re. your DD my heart sank when I read that. Mine is not far behind yours, and already we have had the 'my tummy sticks out' comments. Obviously, I haven't been through your stage yet, but I think if it happened I would try and keep her busy (physically) as much as possible. Eg. go swimming and then immediately get fish and chips, the exercise and seeing her brothers wolf it down will stimulate appetite. The woodland activity on Saturday sounds like great fun!

oh ma your poor DS. Do the school do any kind of 'settling in' meeting to see how they're getting on in the first term? Is there something specific that's is bothering him?

Tell him he can say anything to you, even if it's something silly and he's worried you won't take it seriously (my DD admitted she was anxious about going to the toilet, as the Big Girls were all crowding round the mirrors, the air thick with hairspray and hormones, rather intimidating!)

I'm sure the school will take it seriously and they should have a teacher who looks after this side of things.

Congratulations on your first grandchild Venus. Your posts are always so encouraging and inspirational and having read the old threads your life sounds so much better now. I bet you are a rock to your daughter and her new family. I love seeing your updates and even though I don't 'know' you, I wanted to say thank you for sharing.

Also love isinde's quote today NO-ONE EVER BEAT THEMSELVES UP INTO A HAPPY PLACE. Think I will pin this up somewhere, so true and yet we all seem intent on bashing ourselves silly. Much better to try and treat yourself as kindly as you would treat a friend in need.

Things are ok here, still struggling with the WW but managing much more discipline. I have started a list of the benefits that I get from not drinking.

Good, deep and valuable sleep
Waking up without the racing heart and anxiety
A feeling of capability and control over myself
Not worrying about wine smell seeping out my pores
Time to put on and remove make up properly
Reading (and remembering what I read the next day!)

I wish I could put loss of weight but sadly that is not a benefit that I have enjoyed......yet.

All in all I think focusing on the positives will help me more than anything else today. I am really glad this bus is here and remains a place where it is safe to come and share our own journeys without demands or judgement. Mouse you do wonders in keeping it on track as do all you other babes old and new

Thanks Joey. She really doesn't like doing physical sports etc. It's not cool, apparently! We do go recreational swimming quite often but apart from that, it's only PE at school (which is minimal). School have asked her to join the netball and basketball team but she turned them down, despite me gently encouraging her to accept. Over the years she's been through swimming, ballet, horse-riding and swimming again and has given them all up. She did run the Race For Life last year, though, and did well. She's often on her bike and we have a huge trampoline so gets some exercise from those. My cooking is pretty healthy - grilled stuff, lean protein, fresh veg, 5 a day, and yoghurt or fruit for pud mainly. I quietly sneak in the 'healthy' eating message if they're helping me cook and they're all pretty clued up as to what constitutes a balanced diet. They're (generally) only allowed sweets on Saturdays (but not when their with Dad!). We've talked about her worries in a reasonably 'relaxed' way and I've assured her she's 'normal' so I think I'm doing all I can. She's lean with lovely long legs and still fits into a couple of skirts that are aged 9 years (she's 12 and a half years old) - so I use that as an indication that she is in no way overweight. Still, common sense facts don't seem to wash with a pre-teen!! Sigh! Thank you for you comments about my problems being important. Sometimes, I would love someone to swoop in, sort all my problems and give me some TLC. I can dream. xx

Lovely post Venus Wonderful congratulations on your new arrival!! I adore tiny babies (odd, I know), there is something so special about them. Enjoy those snuggles!!

This Well done for yesterday, thinking of you today and wishing you huge luck for another day under your belt.

Great list of positives Beaches, what's not to want? Reading (and remembering what I read the next day!) Soooo me! Giving up/cutting down on alcohol is a win/win situation. I need to get a grip.

Baby Where are you Hun???

How's your day gone Ma? My DS (9) has gone through bullying in his first half term at middle school here, too. It broke my heart that he didn't tell me because he 'didn't want to worry me'. He was being spat at and hit by two older girls on the bus!! One of the girls Mums was one of my best friends, too! I sent her a low key message and it was sorted out straight away. He was also struggling in the playground at playtime. This is a boy who was very popular at his last school and one of the 'in' crowd. I know I would say this anyway, but he is a kind and personable soul who was well liked in primary. I phoned his form teacher, she was great and put a few new things in place - including seating plans in the classroom. He's started karate and rugby - I think these things will boost his confidence. Things seem to be settling down now. Good luck with your DS. What have the school said so far?

Isinde Hope your head is better? Greek Islands? Greek salads? Sun? What's not to like. Book me a seat! How are things with DP? Is it 'eggshell' time or have things evened out?

Hey Mouse. When is Nemo back at school and have you met the new 'helper' yet? It will mean a bit of 'starting again' but Nemo is a bit older and has been used to someone else looking out for him now. It may be slightly easier this time? Everything crossed for you both.

purple it sounds like you're pretty on the ball re. your DD then, I know we wonder if we've done everything we can to help and support our kids, and you have honestly, just by being there, listening to her.

My DS's first Halloween and I'm spending it away from him. No costume, no party, no photos.

How much more of his life do I have to spend apart from him?

Sorry for the sober pity party. Very weepy. Don't know if I could handle a Christmas apart.

How much more do I have to do? How much longer is this necessary?

Happy halloween gorgeous babes

Just quickly checking in- venus wise words as always Congratulations! Honestly, you don't look old enough to be a g'ma

purple thank you! Good to see you posting. I'm sorry to hear that your dd is worried about her weight. What's happening with her friends? Are they all talking about it or just her? Providing healthy food is a good way ahead.

mouse I'm sure the new nurse will be very competent but I can see what you mean that she just won't know him as well (of course) or have the shared history. Bugger

why you are so strongly attached to your baby and while I don't want to hear that you are sad tonight (hug) it would be awful if you had allowed alcohol to blank out your feelings. You love him and want him and already have a strong bond.You will get him back. Sober and strong for him.
This won't really help but I've had all the 'fun' of getting my feelings back in sobriety and it's very painful- though I respect that your situation is awful at the moment. It does pass and you just have to let those feelings happen as they need to.sorry, love!

Take lots and lots of vitamin B- that helps. Remember HALT. Eat cake (but don't get as fat as I have- maybe eat cake in moderation)

Love to all on the bus tonight x

isinde I am WELL impressed on those 88 days- sorry!

well done on being almost at the 2 weeks af stage- that's really good. Hope it's all getting easier x

P.s- I like the list beaches

Can you add-
after the first few times of sober socialising,no one gives a fuck if you drink or not.
When they tut about who got drunk the night before- it won't be you they talk about.
When you want to think / talk about a nice night out,then you can go ahead without the horrible guilt and shame of having gotten slaughtered.

Can you tell that it was me what always got slaughtered on nights out?

indie 8/9 is brilliant.I am 4/5 but she is still here, whispering and muttering. Is every night going to be such a fight?
why how much longer indeed. You have done everything g they have asked of you and more. How long was the order for? Can you go back to court or wherever and plead your case with dhs support?
Venus fab news on the dgc, and big congrats to your daughter. Such a relief and joy for you all. I am very happy for you
alias I have contacted the guidance team who were very nice but don't seem overly concerned. Pretty sure there is no bullying or other issues, he is just lonely and missing primary school. He ate his lunch all alond today again. I had that.

Hate, not had.

As Venus once said, the cravings don't get worse and worse and they do subside eventually if you dont give in to them....thanks Venus!

Yes, thanks Venus, that is really important to remember. We do not have to feed this addiction. It will die out if we ignore it.

Many, many congratulations on becoming a grandma lovely lady

Ma my heart breaks for your poor wee lad. Just bear in mind that this is a transition phase for hm. He is a brave and wonderful boy. What lunchtime clubs can he join?

He has joined the amnesty international one bit not sure if he is attending. He won't go to any sports ones which is pretty much all of them as he isnt sporty and says they will all laugh at him.
I just picture him being the chubby lonely kid with no friends...sniff
I'm a bit of a misery guts tonight. Been pretty much AF all week and don't feel much better for it, unfortunately. Where's this bloody boing people talk about?

And who the feck let indie drive the bus?

Just checking in end im of day 2 a/f had really productive day and my son had the best birthday what a difference a day makes ay :) night all sending love to you all out there x

Bloody well done this. You should be very proud of yourself.

Here's a question has any woke up on day 3 with hangover symptoms like sweating and headache? Or I'm I just getting ill?

Yes this. I felt awful the first few days. And tearful. You may be getting ill but it could also just be your body adjusting. Well done on day 3. Xx

Morning, quick check in, day three here. Got through yesterday by the skin of my teeth as it was a day I'd allow myself to drink. No work today and no school run.I kept telling myself that I could drink another day just not them. It sort of worked.

I've worked out my danger time, between nine and eleven pm. Basically as the evening goes on I think ok I can have a drink, it's late now so it'll only be the one or two, no harm done. I'm not sure what I can do to avoid that. With the best will in the world I really don't want to do house work at ten pm! I could go to bed earlier but I think that would just reset my trigger time to earlier.