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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Shagaholic.com

31 replies

Shagaholic · 23/10/2013 19:18

Dh didn't shut his email down
And some other fuckforalifetime bollocks

There were no chats or messages sent, really basic package, had to upgrade to send messages

I forwarded emails to myself, but they turned up blank
Then the pc jammed so had to shut down and so lost his emails

Ds and mil were around so I didn't get much info

So I have no evidence of anything
His mum is here from abroad for another week
And he's away til Sunday

Wtf do I do
I've had enough of his behaviour anyway, but this is the push I need, but no evidence now

OP posts:
alphacourse · 23/10/2013 19:24

Do you remember his username? Google it?

alphacourse · 23/10/2013 19:25

Also - if you register as a user on those sites and fo a member search for your postcode you should spot him!

alphacourse · 23/10/2013 19:25
BitOutOfPractice · 23/10/2013 19:27

Yes I found my ex on maritalaffair.com by registering as a user. Brave yourself though. It's vile. I needed a shower after is looked at it Confused

Sorry this arsehole is putting you through this grief

Original poster
Shagaholic · 23/10/2013 19:48

I'll have to wait til mil goes to bed
She never shuts up, I can't concentrate
I did write some stuff down, I think username

OP posts:
HedgeHogGroup · 23/10/2013 20:09

Can you 'print screen' them and then send them as photos to yourself?

cjel · 23/10/2013 20:13

How old is ds? it couldn't be him could it?x

Original poster
Shagaholic · 23/10/2013 20:50

He's 6 cjel!

OP posts:
cjel · 23/10/2013 21:03

AAAAh Well I hope it wasn't him thenSmile!!

daisywaisydoo · 23/10/2013 21:07

Exactly the same situation the other week! But about 6 different sites. No advice sorry as he'd also not sent messages or upgraded. Still hurts though! I'd check his profile when you can and go from there.

mammadiggingdeep · 23/10/2013 21:10

:( sorry...

There is a website that you can put an email address into and it will tell you what sites that email is used on....I don't the name of if, can't remember but somebody will know it....

What I will also say (from bitter experience) is that unless you have done hard evidence they STILL deny. Even if you describe what you saw and you KNOW it was them they deny. If you can get back on there, please print out, take pics, whatever. If you don't and they deny you end up feeling crazy.

Good luck and I'm sorry you're going through this :(

awakemysoull · 23/10/2013 21:50

I'm sorry you found this your head must be all over the place.

My recently ex dp was the master of this. Every single site you can think of he was on. Idiot used his own name and had his pic as profile pics so I knew it was him.

I registered as a user, arranged to meet him and his face was a picture when he turned up to find me standing there fuming.

Best thing you can do if you really suspect he is using these sites properly (they can pop up from porn sites and link to his email if he is a member of any porn sites) Is keep quiet, keep your eyes and ears open, make a profile using a new email address and start to message him. It won't take you long to find him just pop in your postcode and off you go.

These sites really are disgusting so be brave when ignoring the disgusting messages you will get. The sites are filled with desperate men and as soon as a female logs on they are jumped on

awakemysoull · 23/10/2013 21:52

Also - I completely agree with mamadiggingdeep - they will deny even when you have the proof in front of them.

Gather as much as you can without letting on you know. Even if you don't go as far as arranging a meet with him you will still have messages and stuff to confront him with.

He can talk his way out of this at the moment but once you have chatted to him etc he won't have a leg to stand on..

After you have confronted him it's up to you what you do. If you want to work at your relationship then it's possible but it takes a lot of work on both sides.

I know, I've been through this

Original poster
Shagaholic · 23/10/2013 21:53

Just typed in the fuckbook website and it logged him straight in
And I have had about 8 chat requests, some video!!

That would suggest he's logged on from this pc, yes?
Fucker
There is nothing sent and not even any profiles/photos viewed

He is down there as single , looking for fun

OP posts:
awakemysoull · 23/10/2013 22:06

Is it possible he only signed up today? What date were the emails?

If it logged. You straight in it means he's been on it today and not logged out or cleared the history

Check the history

Original poster
Shagaholic · 23/10/2013 22:11

He registered the weekend I was away, 2 weeks ago
Just going from the emails
I can't find any history within his profile
He doesn't really use this pc, that's why I'm surprised
Ds uses it, that makes me feel sick

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 23/10/2013 22:15

Sorry :(

What are you thinking? What do you want to do now?

NachoAddict · 23/10/2013 22:22

Sorry to hear that. I would be so angry that he used the computer your son uses.

if you confront him now he will deny it all, can you bear to keep quiet and collect evidence?

Coolforcatz · 23/10/2013 22:23

If it logged straight in then he hasn't logged out after his last session. It doesn't mean he was on it today.

Check your computers history, especially the cookies (temporary internet files) as they definitely haven't been deleted.

Original poster
Shagaholic · 23/10/2013 22:29

It's feasible that he logged on to have a wank
I know it's pathetic, but we had had a number of interrupted sessions before I went away, so he didnt finish so to speak!

That will be his excuse, guaranteed.

God, I'm glad I name changed

I've been v unhappy for a while

How am I going to clean up this pc?

OP posts:
Coolforcatz · 23/10/2013 22:33

Go to internet options, it's in there.

awakemysoull · 23/10/2013 22:50

There are hundreds of porn sites that he could go on for a wank.

Don't blame yourself.

These sites are for finding others to have casual sex with.

I understand that some men get a kick out of looking at local profiles and chatting etc behind their partners back, but it's awful he is doing this and I am so Angry for you

BitOutOfPractice · 23/10/2013 22:56

Yes he will deny deny deny. My exDP even when I actually handed over a print out of his profile. Patently his postcode was heaving with men of the same age, height (very unusual), nationality (very unusual), name (very unusual) who had stolen a picture of his cock Confused

I'm so sorry you're facing this crock of shit op. I feel for you, I really do

InTuaNua · 23/10/2013 23:03

Shagaholic - I don't know where you are in the country - but if you're anywhere close Surrey/Berkshire, I'd be more than happy to help sort out the machine (it's kind of what I do workwise).

noslimbody · 24/10/2013 02:41

OK, I found messages on h's computer from shagoholic and he claimed it was spam. I didn't really believe him, but didn't have anything to say.
So he is definitely lying then?
Sorry for thread hijack OP

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