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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm an idiot!

81 replies

Differentlyclued · 04/07/2006 10:49

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on mn and hoping for some help as I havent got newhere else to turn to.

So here it goes,

I met a guy over the net (not tht i went looking for romance over the net) and lied to him about something relitively important...
he found out somethin tht got him suspicious, but then i came clean with the guilt of it...

Now he is willing to forgive me for lieing but says hes gona torture me slowly! But doesnt want to finish things coz he loves me but he now doesnt trust me!

I dont know wht to do to make things upto him or if i should bother, as he is coming out with alot of snide comments, and he says hes not resentful jus disappointed?

Just like to know ne veiws.

Hope this makes some kind of sense... Thanx in advance.

OP posts:

FioFio · 04/07/2006 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 04/07/2006 10:51

Sounds like a wanker.

What did you lie about?

You don't love someone you don't trust.

Caligula · 04/07/2006 10:51

Um, if a man told me he was going to torture me, slowly or quickly, I'd tell him to fuck off.

End of.

Lio · 04/07/2006 10:53

I think you should leave well alone but on the plus side I like your name and thread title.

Marina · 04/07/2006 10:53

Doesn't sound a good prospect long-term to me. The word torture a definite big no thanks.

jamsambam · 04/07/2006 10:53

yup, youre an idiot,. ive been there ( internet bf i mean) and it was a disaster..couldnt see the wanker he was untill i was told by someone else!

walk away..you havent got anything to lose.

me23 · 04/07/2006 10:53

hi, 'torture you slowly' was he joking? if not I would seriously be thinking of ending this now! it does sound like resentment to me, he needs to get over it (whatever it was) or finish with you, he can't stay with you and punish you its not fair.
do you love him?

nellie245 · 04/07/2006 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nellie245 · 04/07/2006 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jamsambam · 04/07/2006 10:59

very true nellie...so, they are all wankers!!!
no, im having a bad day, but if differentlyclued is worried then she should do something about it, talk to him or leave it.(imo)

nellie245 · 04/07/2006 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Differentlyclued · 04/07/2006 11:21

I have told him, tht i only lied bout tht one thing! which was wht i do for a living and tht was it...

I dont think he meant the 'torture' bit literally, though he has been very rude and wants to leave it in the past and get over it, but is actin weird! N i know its expected as i am in the wrong...

He is the only guy i've met in over 2yrs tht has got me feeling this way about a guy... i think i do love him! I am sooo confused!!!

OP posts:

Carmenere · 04/07/2006 11:28

Look the bottom line is that he has told you that he is going to hold this lie against you for as long as he wants. This clearly implies that he is a controlling type of person and you know that this is wrong as this is the very reason why you are on here asking advice. Listen to your instincts before you get in too deep and please don't let him control you.

m4ya · 04/07/2006 11:44

He sounds like a tw*t...

If you forgive someone you dont torture them! I think hes being a dick n u shudnt put up with it no matter how wonderful he may be...

has he lied to u about nething (tht u know of neway?)

LadyTamba · 04/07/2006 11:46

ne = any for those that need a translation

102002 · 04/07/2006 12:00

Thanks LadyTamba.

Differentlyclued: I think u r too wrapped up by him to realise he is being controlling. i think u shud forget him but if u really want to still stick around then thts upto u. In tht case find a way to 'make it up to him'!

Take care

kiskidee · 04/07/2006 12:09

just because someone has not made you feel like this in 2 yrs is not a good enough reason to stay with someone.

he says he is not resentful but makes snide comments.

he says he wants it to stay in the past but keeps bringing it up.

who do you believe? him or your lying ears?

Caligula · 04/07/2006 12:13

I think it sounds like you have very low self- esteem. So you haven't been with anyone for 2 years. Big deal, if you hadn't been with anyone for 20 years, it's better than being with someone bad. You need to believe that, otherwise you'll only ever be with bad men. This one sounds like a waste of space, what purpose does he serve in your life (apart from meaning you're not alone)?

heavenis · 04/07/2006 12:18

So have you meet him or not. Change your e-mail address telephone number. If he is making you feel uneasy and you think he might carry out what he has said then call the police so they have a log of it.

Why is not telling him what your job is so bad.

Just because you haven't meet anyone in 2 yrs you don't have to put up with this.

Original poster

Differentlyclued · 04/07/2006 12:26

Thank you all the ladies that gave me their opinion.

I am too wrapped up by him, and kno stayin with someone for the reason i gae isnt good enough.

But before all this came out tht i lied; he was perfect, didnt have a single complaint against him. He treated me like royalty, never has a bad word to say. And always put a smile on my face!

I was hoping this was his way of putting things in the past by airing his anger!

So the general consensus is: hes a wanker and i shud leave him.

OP posts:

FioFio · 04/07/2006 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Differentlyclued · 04/07/2006 12:29

I have met him a few times, and he is (or was b4 this) exactly wht i wanted in a guy, which is why i've been single for 2yrs now coz i didnt want to end up with anyone just for the sake of being in a relationship.

OP posts:

Original poster

Differentlyclued · 04/07/2006 12:33

FioFio - Im a lawyer. N i honestly dont know y I told him I'm a stay at home mum!

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 04/07/2006 12:34

omg I thought you were going to say a stripper or something! lol

Why didn't you tell him what you do for a living?

Original poster

Differentlyclued · 04/07/2006 12:37

lol spacedonkey!

I guess its becoz Im Indian n theres a major prejudice against Asian women working...

OP posts:

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