Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

MY NEW BOYFRIEND'S EX WIFE WANTS HIM BACK

105 replies

ANNETTE5355 · 17/10/2013 19:32

I a guy a month ago and we still getting to know each other and now his ex wife who has been divorced from for 5 years (they have not been speaking much) wants him back,they have a 11 year old daughter together. They got divorced because she cheated on him and had another man's child. He told me on saturday and will be making his decision by the end of this week, he feels very bad for putting this on me and wants to do what is right for his daughter. I have been understanding and supportive up to now and listened, he has still been txting and ringing me everyday since she asked him.what do I do, how do I treat him, I have just been myself and not been any different and still laugh and joke and we able to talk about anything. He seems very confused.

OP posts:
Lavenderhoney · 17/10/2013 20:02

Sort yourself out to be busy tomorrow night, all weekend with friends.

Text him and tell him not to bother you again. What a lucky escape!

I had a bf like this once. I listened in amazement, realised what he was asking and ran away, literally:) just caught some friends at the local before they went home and clarified he was a twunt. Whatever is happening in his life, you are best out of it!

Dahlen · 17/10/2013 20:06

Wow. Even assume he's telling you the truth about this (of which I'm doubtful) any man who thinks it's a good idea to get back with his XW for the sake of their daughter after 5 years of being divorced should be dumped on the grounds of being completely stupid.

frustratedashell · 17/10/2013 20:06

Yes I agree with all that's been said!

pictish · 17/10/2013 20:11

He'll let you know by the end of the week??!!

Wtf is your dilemma here? As soon as I became any man's 'maybe' they could get to fuck!
Never make someone a priority if they'll only make you an option.
4 weeks in??
Self respect - get some!

29chapel · 17/10/2013 20:12

Tell him to poke it.

summerbreezer · 17/10/2013 20:13

Annette, I would strongly suggest you do two things:

  1. Dump him.

  2. Ring a counsellor and go and find out why you believe someone else's happiness is more important than your own.

I know, from bitter experience, that you will not form a decent relationship with a good man until you deal with your own issues. Good luck.

Original poster
ANNETTE5355 · 17/10/2013 20:13

Thank you all for your support, I am a honest, true, genuine person with so much to give and now this happens to me, his loss, I am going to txt him tomorrow and tell him I am not prepared to play second fiddle to his ex wife, he told me honesty is number one to him ???????

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 17/10/2013 20:14

Tell him now. What are you waiting for ?

KatieScarlett2833 · 17/10/2013 20:14

Exactly that. Why wait?

Bogeyface · 17/10/2013 20:16

Yep, I think he is lying too.

Chuck this one back.

IComeFromALandDownUnder · 17/10/2013 20:16

Honestly Annette he is so not worth it. He is not going to choose you. If he was he would not need a week to think about it. Why are you acting all sweetness and light when he calls? Tell him to get lost tonight.

Dahlen · 17/10/2013 20:18

The fact he's put you in this position is not because you're not good enough Annette it's because he's a twat. You could look like a supermodel, have the brain of Steven Hawking and the temperament of Mother Theresa and he'd still treat you like this because he's a fuckwit.

Flowers
CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/10/2013 20:18

She's not his 'ex' wife. There's no other man's child, no five year divorce etc... Text him that you've done some digging, know the truth about him and you'll be going public & talking to his wife tomorrow. (Or something similar) Make the cheating bugger sweat.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 17/10/2013 20:20

Hmm - would you want him to go back to your country if you stayed together?

SoleSource · 17/10/2013 20:20

Yeah kick not lick lol sorry.

Text him.now, do.not wait for a reply, block his number, email, FB , yahoo messenger, MSN etc

Feel smug he knows you know he is a cunting LIAR!

IComeFromALandDownUnder · 17/10/2013 20:20

I suspect the same Cognito. Have you been to his house? Met any friends/family?

BUT even if he is telling you the truth dump him!!

Original poster
ANNETTE5355 · 17/10/2013 20:37

yes been to his flat, he works away all week end comes back to his flat on friday's, believe me a lot have thought have been playing on my mind about what is really going on, but I fell for the guy (I do not easily fall for someone) and wanted to give him a chance, can not believe this has happened to me !!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 17/10/2013 20:38

What are you going to do about it ? Carry on waiting by the phone ?

ScaryFucker · 17/10/2013 20:39

You have been well and truly scammed, love. I hope you learn from this.

AmberLeaf · 17/10/2013 20:45

Sounds like a crock of shit from a man who is married/in a long term relationship.

PeppermintPasty · 17/10/2013 20:47

I love you lot Grin

Kick him to the kerb, the cheeky bastard.

Vivacia · 17/10/2013 20:49

You have been well and truly scammed, love. I hope you learn from this.

That's a bit harsh and unfounded. Makes it sound as though the OP's been naive and stupid which I don't think she has.

ScaryFucker · 17/10/2013 20:50

I do. Until she came on here, she was waiting by the phone for this fuckwit to choose her.

There's gotta be a lesson to learn from that, surely ?

FolkGirl · 17/10/2013 20:56

Step away from the man!

PerpendicularVincentPrice · 17/10/2013 21:14

I agree with every other poster, you're being messed around. If he and his ex haven't spoken for a long time and she had a baby with another man, why would he even consider getting back with her?

Swipe left for the next trending thread