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Relationships

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Original poster

When sex is WEIRD

5 replies

soawkward · 15/10/2013 21:41

Name changed.

My sex life with my partner is awkward. To begin with, when we were a new couple (6 years ago) he didn't initiate sex much and turned me down a couple of times a week. We probably had sex twice a week, mainly after I had initiated it.

Since our DC was born (2 years) we hardly ever do it. We haven't been getting along that well and haven't had sex in a few months and now even the thought of it is, well, a bit weird really. I don't think I want to. He does.

We have got other problems as well with communication and him being a moody bastard sometimes (sexy!).

Has anyone else had this awkwardness and do you think it can be resolved?

OP posts:

bestsonever · 15/10/2013 23:54

Sorry no experience of this. If I had ever got turned down twice in a week at the beginning of a relationship without a valid reason and had to initiate it all, I think a week would of been as long as it could of lasted - 6 years, Jees! The writing was on the wall there, likely to be a deeply ingrained issues by now and hard if not impossible to resolve.

BellEndTent · 15/10/2013 23:58

Perhaps you are feeling awkward because you have fallen out of the habit and now it seems strange to see him like that. Do you still think about him sexually at all?

EllieInTheRoom · 16/10/2013 01:06

I have! We split this weekend though, so I am not sure if you really want to hear from me.

But just Incase you do...

We were exactly the same, right down to the moodiness and non-communication. We were happy in the begining, and although sex was good, I could have had it quite a lot more than he wanted it and he often rejected me. Then more and more often, until we didnt do it for nearly two years.

After a big show down, we tried to get back on track, but yeah awkward.

it's hard to get back on the bike when you've been rejected so much. It bloody hurts. And why do they start to want it when you stop wanting it? It's as though they can sense you are crushed and now they want sex on their terms.

Turns out my H was addicted to porn which is why he didnt want sex so much with me, he preferred alone time. Which as it turns out contributed to moodiness and communication probs.

Could it be anything like that?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 16/10/2013 11:12

It's hardly weird, really. You sound like you were fundamentally incompatible sexually to begin with, you don't get along with each other and now he's 'moody' (bad tempered?) and doesn't communicate. So you've gone from bad to worse, it isn't going to get any better, and I think calling it 'awkward' is like calling the Grand Canyon 'a valley'.

RaRa1988 · 16/10/2013 14:23

Soawkward: Sorry to read your post; that sounds pretty shit tbh and god only knows what it's doing to your self-confidence apart from anything else. I've no advice as I've never been in your situation - but I definitely couldn't handle it and nor could my DP if it was me refusing sex. Acceptable reasons for us would be things like illness or the aftermath of childbirth - with both expected to be relatively short-term! I just don't think lack of sex is conducive to a healthy relationship, and having differing sex drives doesn't really work imho. Have you tried talking to your partner about it? Have you thought about what you will do if he can't/won't/doesn't want to change?

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