I really need help to try to sort this out

[jadegreencake]

My H left about a year ago and still sorting out finances. Family home to be sold. Does anyone know how far away children are expected to live from their school? I would like them to stay near to their school and friends but H not happy as it would mean I need more equity from the sale of the marital home in order to buy a house near where we live now.

Do courts look at that sort of thing? They don't want to change school (teenagers) but I don't want them having to travel for a long time to get to school. Any advice?

Do you have a solicitor or are you trying to sort this out between you?

Trying to sort most of it out ourselves before we go to solicitors as we have limited money and both need to try to buy a home each. It is civil at the moment ....

Then I suggest you save up a list of these kinds of questions and treat yourself to half an hour with a solicitor. Many offer a free initial consultation and, if you're organised, you can find out a lot in that time. Agree things between you by all means, but get professional advice as a guide about what's fair and reasonable.

I have tried that and the half an hour consists of them talking in general terms about divorce and saying oh it depends on xyz and then the 30 minutes are over.

I would like to know if anyone has had this issue and what happened.

It might be worth considering mediation if you have reached a bit of a stalemate? You might only need a couple of sessions if you have already covered a lot of ground.

In my case my ex wanted to settle 50/50 which would have meant I had to move to a cheaper area (much further from DC school) but I held out and we eventually settled 60/40, which meant I could afford to buy in the vicinity of DC current school. exH was the higher earner (3x my salary) so he was able to fund a bigger mortgage, and we have ended up both owning similar size / value homes in the same area.

However it does depend on what's in the pot and both your capacity to raise mortgages. If you having more equity means that his housing needs can't be met, then something has to give.

Thanks Hatpin. I earn less than half what he does and don't really have any job security. Also, I won't be able to get a 25 year mortgage due to my age. Did mediation help you with this or did solicitors warn your ex that 60/40 was fair?

We reached agreement via mediation. I really recommend it. The costs are fixed and shared between you so no nasty surprises on the legal fees.

Thanks very much. Are the mediators legally trained so they have an idea of what the courts would expect to see in terms of a settlement that is fair to both parties?

Yes they can be. Ours was a family law solicitor in another practice than our own sols. Why not ring rounda few llocal law firms + see if they offer it?