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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband wants to sell the house to accommodate is new pussy

62 replies

Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 17:23

He left us three months ago after 29 yrs of marriage. He is now saying we (our son and myself) after get out of the house so he can buy somewhere for him and this tart to live. She is still in the family home mortgaged up to the eye balls.

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 06/10/2013 17:27

You need to see a solicitor to find out your rights. I don't think he can insist that it's sold.

LaurieFairyCake · 06/10/2013 17:28

How olds your son?

That will have a bearing on whether he can force a sale.

You need to take proper advice though

Custardo · 06/10/2013 17:29

oh, so sorry to hear this - how old is your son?

SoupDragon · 06/10/2013 17:31

Is the house in both your names?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/10/2013 17:31

Sorry things have ended badly. Definitely see a solicitor. And keep the cat-flap closed...

YoniTime · 06/10/2013 17:33

Sorry. Nothing useful to say.
But I really thought it was about some weirdo who wanted a bigger house for his cat...

SirSugar · 06/10/2013 17:34

Stay put, see a solicitor, start divorce before he does

notapizzaeater · 06/10/2013 17:35

I think if your son is over 18 he can force you to pay I out, which may mean selling

Original poster
Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 17:38

Our son is 13 yrs and the house is in both our names. We go to mediation soon and I'm guessing he's going to make out he can't afford to rent and keep us in the house. If he wins the homewrecker will soon sniff out the money and lap it up.

OP posts:
Darkesteyes · 06/10/2013 17:47

Lucca i think its awful what you are going thrrough An incredibly hurtful and painful time But the mysogyny here starting right from the thread title did make my teeth itch a bit.
Your H is as responsible for what happened as she is Actually more so because he swore faithfulness to you.

Sleepyhoglet · 06/10/2013 18:05

Nothing much helpful, but make sure you get someone who ca help you make a strong case. Are you working or sahm? Awful that he is doing this to you. I don't think he can sell a house that you are named on without your permission so don't give I . Let the courts sort it.

Original poster
Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 18:13

I'm doing unpaid work at a charity shop at the moment so as to qualify for legal aid through the mediation process. I will be wanting to work as soon as because my bet is if he doesn't get part of the house he'll stop what little money he is giving us.

OP posts:
Johnny5needsinput · 06/10/2013 18:15

Your anger is directed at the wrong person. The OW didn't break vows to you - your Ex did.

Mindmaps · 06/10/2013 18:25

You are angry at the wrong person and while you ex should support your son cannt actually see any reason why you shouldn't get a job. They can be very good for you sense of self worth.

JustinBsMum · 06/10/2013 18:26

Repost on the legal thread and someone with a legal background might respond.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters

Original poster
Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 18:27

Takes two and if the woman didn't exist we wouldn't be in this mess.....I wouldn't dream of messing around with someone else's husband. They are both to blame and deserve each other in my opinion, I thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 18:30

Thanks for the over all positive advice....it's nice to know there are some caring people and as from now will only respond to them. Refuse to get drawn into negative, troublemakers.

OP posts:
Johnny5needsinput · 06/10/2013 18:31

Are you seriously deliberately not working?

You are going to have some wake up call when you get divorced.

Johnny5needsinput · 06/10/2013 18:32

Ha ha ha ha

Sweetie, I've been there. You're angry with the wrong person. She's not the problem. Your exhusband is the person who owed you. She owed you nothing.

Pistillate · 06/10/2013 18:32

Errrr, if she didn't exist, he could just as easily have left you and started seeing someone else....

cartoad · 06/10/2013 18:34

One of the things that lots of people suggest on similar threads is going and having a free half hour with as many good local solicitors as you can in order to stop him from using them due to conflict of interest. That's assuming you both don't already have them sorted.

Sorry to hear he's treating you and his ds so badly Sad

HappyMummyOfOne · 06/10/2013 18:34

If you have no income but want to keep the house then you need to find work asap. Unless he is a very high earner the judge will know he cannot afford two properties and he will need a place of his own to live and for his child to stay for access. You will likely be able to delay a sale if you show you can afford the mortgage on your own.

He broke his vows not the other woman, concentrate on keeping your son away from any amniosity and ensure he has a good relationship with you both.

Johnny5needsinput · 06/10/2013 18:35

And it's not being a troublemaker to tell you you're not being very sensible deliberately not working. That's a short term strategy that has a very high risk attached to it.

If your husband couldn't keep it in his trousers, he would just have found someone else. If not her, someone.

Twinklestein · 06/10/2013 18:35

I'm sorry that your husband has behaved so appallingly, he is the homewrecker here.

If this woman hadn't existed it would have been another one.

Johnny5needsinput · 06/10/2013 18:37

" my bet is if he doesn't get part of the house" do you actually think you're going to get the whole house? Because that almost never happens.

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