Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

My husband wants to sell the house to accommodate is new pussy

62 replies

Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 17:23

He left us three months ago after 29 yrs of marriage. He is now saying we (our son and myself) after get out of the house so he can buy somewhere for him and this tart to live. She is still in the family home mortgaged up to the eye balls.

OP posts:

HRHLadyG · 06/10/2013 18:41

You must get proper legal advice and don't discuss your plans with him. You don't want him to pre-empt you with any action you decide to take. So very sad but now is not the time be emotional at all.....keep a clear head, remain calm and focussed x

itstooearly · 06/10/2013 18:50

I believe that from April 2013 legal aid for family cases ie divorce etc is only granted if there has been reported domestic violence. Not working will not guarantee legal aid is awarded any more.

Original poster

Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 18:58

Thanks for the advice I will take it on board......especially from the older members.

OP posts:

Missbopeep · 06/10/2013 19:00

Am pretty sure that legal aid does not apply to divorces and your JOINT income would be the issue as you are still married.

Original poster

Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 19:01

Just for mediation.

OP posts:

Missbopeep · 06/10/2013 19:02

Divorce fees would come out of your joint income including assets like the house when it is sold.

Johnny5needsinput · 06/10/2013 19:05

Lucca how do you know who are the older members? I'm intrigued as to how you can ascertain that from posts. And why older would mean better. Or make their advice more worthy of attention

HRHLadyG · 06/10/2013 19:07

Jonny.....does it really matter??

Johnny5needsinput · 06/10/2013 19:08

Well, it obviously does to the op. I'm just curious as to why.

VivaLeThrustBadger · 06/10/2013 19:10

I believe he can't make you sell the house until your son is 18. After that the chances are you'll have to. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Long term you'll be better off without him if he can treat you and your son like this.

Hissy · 06/10/2013 19:10

You're angry.
Who wouldn't be.

But get yourself to the cold fury place, get legal advice, from multiple sources.

If you're in the local area, you can go to all the solicitors in the are which effectively means he can't.

Knowledge is power, so get that, and Keep talking to us, cool down a bit and then you'll be able to be more constructive.

Hissy · 06/10/2013 19:13

And ignore the OW She's irrelevant.

HE'S the one that did this, she's not worth your blood pressure rising over. Seriously.

Stravy · 06/10/2013 19:23

Thought this was going to be for people who had inadvertently married a 'cat person'

JoinYourPlayfellows · 06/10/2013 19:26

"If this woman hadn't existed it would have been another one."

Do you believe that women are just interchangeable sex objects?

JakeBullet · 06/10/2013 19:27

You are rightly and understandably angry with them both but HappyMummy is right, you need a job so you can demonstrate that you can afford this mortgage on your own and don't need his contribution. It would be a good "get stuffed" to both of them.
Usually with a property it can remain unsold until your DS is 18 (as far as I know) but the more independent financially you can be the better...especially if you feel he is likely to try and walk away from his responsibilities.

Sleepyhoglet · 06/10/2013 19:37

This thread is turning a little antagonistic. Let's try to support the OP as much as possible. She is in a tricky place and it is understandable of she has/ is making some mistakes. We need to advise her as much as we can. I do think the OP need to work though, as if she is able to remain in the house she will have to meet the mortgage payments and bills. Yes, the husband has done wrong but she needs to make some effort to support herself.

mammadiggingdeep · 06/10/2013 19:42

If it helps the op to get angry with the ow then for crying out loud let her!!! Jeez. I think we've all slagged off the ow...we're all human

Bogeyface · 06/10/2013 19:44

"If this woman hadn't existed it would have been another one."

Do you believe that women are just interchangeable sex objects?

Sadly, to a certain type of man, yes they are. If a person is looking outside their marriage then they will keep looking until someone says yes. The affair partner isnt chosen for their looks or charm or personality, but because they are happy to be OW/OM.

Twinklestein · 06/10/2013 19:44

JoinYourPlayfellows Eh? I think a man who is looking for an affair will find one... If one woman turns him down he'll try another...

Twinklestein · 06/10/2013 19:46

Bogeyface xpost Agreed.

Bogeyface · 06/10/2013 19:46

I have to agree that you need to get a job asap of you dont need him to fight for the house, you will lose it because you cant afford it.

I assume at the moment he is paying the mortgage? He could stop that at any point and then what will you do? He could stop the maintenance his paying too.

You need to get a job in order to strengthen your case, you can put off mediation until you can afford it, which will mean you have longer in the house too.

Bogeyface · 06/10/2013 19:46

Typos, sorry!

JoinYourPlayfellows · 06/10/2013 19:51

"If a person is looking outside their marriage then they will keep looking until someone says yes."

That is complete and utter bollocks.

Some people are incorrigible adulterers, but even they will only shag people they fancy.

And plenty of people who have affairs are NOT "looking outside their marriage".

It's such trite nonsense to insist that every man who has an affair is just wandering around with his penis in his hands looking for an available orifice.

babybarrister · 06/10/2013 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 06/10/2013 20:04

Join

I did say to some people. And yes, there ARE some men who will keep going until they find someone who says yes. I thought that the fact that they would only approach women they fancy was a given and didnt actually need to be spelled out.

Clearly you have lived a far more sheltered life than me, I am happy for you.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread