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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband wants to sell the house to accommodate is new pussy

62 replies

Lucca22 · 06/10/2013 17:23

He left us three months ago after 29 yrs of marriage. He is now saying we (our son and myself) after get out of the house so he can buy somewhere for him and this tart to live. She is still in the family home mortgaged up to the eye balls.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 06/10/2013 20:08

And plenty of people who have affairs are NOT "looking outside their marriage"

No. Everyone what's an affair has looked outside their marriage or it wouldn't be an affair. Unless they tripped and accidentally had sex.

Bogeyface · 06/10/2013 20:12

The second someone takes more than a passing interest in someone else then yes, they are looking outside their marriage. They may not have actively sought it, but as soon as they engage emotionally or sexually with someone else then their focus is outwards to the OW/M not inwards on their marriage.

Missbopeep · 06/10/2013 20:21

OP

The odds are your home will be sold and there will be a 50-50 split or a 60-40 split in your favour.

It's nothing to do with how old your son is- it's about what is fair. if your DH has no home - if you stayed in the home- that is not considered fair. Nor is it considered fair for your ex to be left penniless even if he does have another woman who may have a home for him to live in. Judges do not apportion 'blame' so there is no guilty and no innocent party.

If your home has more bedrooms than needed for you and 1 child, it is considered too big so would be sold so that you could buy a 2 bed home and your ex H would have his share for a new home.

So- it's likely your house will be sold and if you are to support yourself and your son then you need a job. Your DH will be asked to contribute something like 20% of his income for the child's upkeep.

Norudeshitrequired · 06/10/2013 20:29

^ agree with everything that missbopeep said.

The affair is a side issue to what should happen regarding the house. The two of you have separated and you are both entitled to a share of the equity from the house. The fact that he thought with his penis and had an affair makes him a total git, but it doesn't make him less entitled o his share of the equity.

You need to get a paid job ASAP so you can either buy his share of the house and live there or use your wages to get a new home for you and your son.

Missbopeep · 06/10/2013 20:44

Going back to your post about having no job so you could qualify for legal aid for mediation- I think you are mistaken. If mediation involves you, your soon to be ex H and your son, then the fee will be paid by you and your DH ( as a couple). I cannot see why you think you as an individual would pay ( or not) for mediation when your husband is working and has an income which will fund the mediation.

babybarrister · 06/10/2013 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 06/10/2013 22:04

"I thought that the fact that they would only approach women they fancy was a given and didnt actually need to be spelled out."

Well it clearly does need to be spelled out when people are claiming that the OW "could have been anyone".

The characterisation of affairs as being conducted only by people who wake up one morning determined to have sex outside their marriage and entirely uninterested in who that sex is with is ridiculous.

Plenty of people who have affairs are NOT seeking sex outside their relationship before they encounter the person they eventually cheat with.

It takes two people to have an affair. Not just one man and an open hole.

I find the supposedly right-on insistence that only the cheating man (characterised as an indiscriminate sexually incontinent animal seeking out a passive hole for his penis) is to blame for an affair pretty nauseating.

The way it paints woman as passive victims of sexual relationships is so nasty. It pretends to be pro-woman, but is completely the opposite.

Missbopeep · 06/10/2013 22:07

resolution-mediation.com/faqs.html#j

Look at the question : Who pays.

The cost is split between the parties and paid for in advance.

bamboostalks · 06/10/2013 22:12

Good luck hon. What a rotten situation to be in. Just know that in year or so, you'll be coming through the worst of it. What a shit eh? At least you have your boy.

babybarrister · 06/10/2013 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babybarrister · 06/10/2013 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twinkleandbunty · 06/10/2013 22:37

What JoinYourPlayfellows said.

Why is the OP getting a hard time on here for being understandably angry with both of them?
If some women were not willing to shag men in relationships then they'd have a much harder time being cheating scumbags wouldn't they?

Good luck to you OP, sorry you are in this situation x

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