Cautionary Tale from OW

[fuckedmylifeup]

I was relentlessly pursued by a MM whilst also married myself. This continued for the last three years. I take full responsibility for my actions but now I find myself:

On the verge of a nervous breakdown
Seeing a counsellor every week to try and get back the parts of me I lost during this damaging time
I've lost everything - my husband, my home, my job, my friends
Am on the receiving end of frequent and distressing text messages from MM's wife (and rightly so)
Grieving for two relationships - the MM (as stupid as that sounds) and my lovely dh
Devastated by the hurt i've caused dh who in no way wishes to reconcile (and who can blame him)

Whilst NOTHING has changed for MM (he is back in his marriage) - I have to start again from scratch. I'm a shell of my former self and can't see past this.

I can't eat/sleep/concentrate. I'm such a mess. Please help.

OP, I have been where you are. I got the point of being totally fed-up of being so down, I would apologise to my friends for STILL going on about him months later, it was all consuming. One day I woke up and I wasn't as consumed about it anymore. Dwelling on it is time wasted but it can't be helped, you will reply things over and over in your head, it's part of the healing process.

It's taken me 8 months to get where I am. I realised that all the time I spent loving him/hating him/thinking about him was taking up the precious time I should be spendig with my DC, my elderly parents, my friends - I would not give him the satisfaction of living rent-free in my head anymore. He was gone, he may as well have been dead. I don't know where you live OP but if you want to pm me maybe we could meet up?

*replay