What's the worst 'I can't be with you anymore' line you've heard?

[redundantandbitter]

You all know my latest DP's crap dumping excuse is 'she's more warm & spiritual than you'. So, to lighten my day ...There must be folk out there that have been fed some fabulous excuses ... Or maybe YOU have made something up to escape??? Care to share?

You are a lovely woman. The sex is great and you keep the place really clean, but you just can't cook (I can, just not prepared to spend my life chained to the cooker). He once threw the most enormous fit about there only being skimmed milk in the fridge and would constantly mock if I watched Come Dine: 'why are you watching this when you can't fucking cook?!'. This was after four years. He stills calls me occasionally (two years later) to let me know how, relationship-wise, things are not quite working out for him. Twat.

"I don't want my ex-girlfriend to know we're together. So she's going to sleep on the floor in my room, but WE WON'T HAVE SEX, well, I will probably want to have sex with her and will ask her to, but she has a boyfriend, however she er, she doesn't like the thought of me with someone else because she's visiting me because of family problems. But she won't cheat on her boyfriend. But you can't sleep with me or be coupley while she's staying with me."

Weirdo fuck-buddy at Uni. Said ex-girlfriend was just as weird, and tried to be friends with me while she visited, but it was all too strange for words.

That guy is now touting for gay sex all over the Internet

A friend of mine was phoned up before the date and he said he couldn't get it together. She was furious and yelled down the phone. That was the end of that. Somebody else was told he had too much marking to do. Feeble!!

"You'll never come before my friends. If I ever marry, it will be a marriage of convenience"

This guy was a messed up bully and I didn't hang around for long.

Being with you is like going out with a cul de sac.

'I want to concentrate on my rugby career'. He played in the fat blokes Sunday league. I'd asked him to come to the Uni Christmas ball with me.

To think of all the nice blokes I turned down for that loser.

When sat down as a family dicussing how we could all help dc with his depression and self harming ( mh worker and dc counsellor present ) OH declares I need to be alone and can't be here then gets up and walks out leaving us all to pick up the children.
Our course she moved in to someone elses bed but she did return to tell the boys she was leaving the country for a new life with om.
Needless to say the economy of their sunny destination crashed they ran out of cash and are now back trying to rewrite history.

serengetty cul de sac? How on earth do you respond to that? Personally I quite like cul de sacs

drudge I also have had the "God told me to dump you" line. Well, actually "I asked God for a girlfriend, but actually I don't think it's meant to be you".

I have also been dumped by someone I was not aware I was going out with. The really annoying thing was he drew me away from a bbq, where I was happily flirting with a gorgeous guy I really liked, walked me behind some trees and was all intense and solemn and went on and on forever about how it was not meant to be between us - and all the time I was thinking "What? please let me get back to lovely surfer boy".

I was seriously ill in a hospital bed after having a TFMR. I had severe complications afterwards including a haemorrhage and infection D P came to see me and said......

The thing is nutritious, I'm really tired, I'm gona move back in with my mum, coz she will look after me, youre not at the moment

I still laugh in disbelief, talk about dodging a bullet

A few choice ones;

By text, 'I need to focus on my business right now. '

You're not spiritually advanced enough for me... And I want to ' connect ' with other women ( ie screw around)

'There's just no spark' ( from a guy I was seeing from Argentina that I had spent months helping him get a job in London. A week after he got one he dumped me)

Wankers, all..!

"I'm going for management and, let's face it, you're not manager's wife material, are you?"

That was one of my boyfriend's charming reason for "letting me go" as he put it.

I had no idea that Homebase were so particular about who their staff married

I laughed, and stayed with him for 4 more years self esteem erosion. Yes, I was clearly a cul de sac.....after all, I was 10 years younger than him with 2 well adjusted children, my own house, car and well paid job, whereas he was a 50 year old balding man with a tiny penis and 2 girls that regularly self harmed. Clearly all my fault!

I once refused to toss an ex off- he dumped me- he said 'the thing is pregnant, you're not enough like me, this is a perfect example of that, we are just too different. Goodbye.

Eh? You want a woman who loves wanking you as much as you love wanking you?! Good luck with that.

pregnant priceless!!! Truly don't know how you listened to him say that. I love your response.. I laughed out loud. So Sorry .

You don't wash the bedding enough (hadn't occurred to him he could do it)
Also it was unacceptable that I had any sort of career and the only way I could save our marriage would be to give up work and stay at home
I didn't left and now have husband house career and two wonderful boys

My ex husband told me I wasn't enough like Bridget Jones!

And I quote, "you'd never run after me down the street in the snow wearing only your underwear"

No, I wouldn't. But then neither would anybody else. Bridget Jones was a fictional fucking character!

I went on a first date with a guy, the date went really well and had a great time, he paid and offered to walk me home, in the alley way by my house he tried to have sex with me, when I refused he said that I was being very ungrateful for dinner, I replied I wasn't a prostitute and dinner didn't equal sex, went home, next day got a hand written letter, hand posted outlining how ungrateful I was and how I should appreciate my partner (1 frigging date!!) and at the end of the letter the sentence, "we can not continue dating until you start showing gratitude for the efforts I have put in, please call me when you grow emotionally".

Needless to say I never did, I did see him in the pub a couple of years later and mr mature threw peanuts at my head to get my attention, he was ignored.

One of dd's bfs (5year relationship) told her he found playing football more attractive her! They were buying a house together and t he word 'forever' had been spoken.

Forgot my first dh when he was shagging my best friend. He said,"Well she has a really different life, she's an actress and lives in Chelsea!"
We had a bungalow in Ripon and I was a teacher so I had no chance.
The relationship ended before the divorce was finalised. We both married t wice more and by the time he died we were friends of a sort :)

Just remembered a work one where I was told " I need to concentrate on my career" which translated as " I fancy someone at the office"

Blimey, what lucky escapes on this thread:)

'You're a lovely woman and we get on great, but you asked me what my plans were for next week and I,m not ready for that level of commitment so I,m going to have to call it a day".

1st date and I had asked him after he mentioned he was off work the following week whether he was doing anything interesting.

He wasn't going to be on for a second date anyway