What's the worst 'I can't be with you anymore' line you've heard?

[redundantandbitter]

You all know my latest DP's crap dumping excuse is 'she's more warm & spiritual than you'. So, to lighten my day ...There must be folk out there that have been fed some fabulous excuses ... Or maybe YOU have made something up to escape??? Care to share?

"You're so lovely and you're perfect for me. I want to make you happy in so many ways, but I just don't feel a 'romantic spark'"

And why didn't you realise that on the first date rather than stringing it out for months?!

Oh and my last gem of a man.

"I realise it's time I went the extra mile for you but I'm not sure I can or ever will so I will have to let you go"

This was an on off thing for 4 years! The next day he rang wanting to see me and tried to denied it. So finally it was bye, bye to him.

In my younger days, I had a passionate relationship with a man whose father was in the church. They were a very religious family and my boyfriend was a regular church goer.

After about three months, this man told me that he would prefer not to have sex with me anymore because he 'didn't believe in sex before marriage'. This was after he'd been shagging me on a regular basis for months. I was stunned.

OOOH I love that MNHQ have gotten in on this thread!

My classics...

My mum would never accept you because you're not Catholic

She's much more flexible than you (meant literally - the fact I couldn't suck my own toes was apparently a deal breaker)

I'm going off to uni and I want to shag other people

You're too fat to have sex with (when I was a size 12 - having dropped from a 16)

You wouldn't let me take you up the bum in a McDonalds car park

You won't have a 3-some with your sister

Sigh... I've met some charmers

"You're too independent and have strong opinions". - culture issue

"I love you but I'm not in love with you". - Ds Father

"You're too fat and it is embarrassing" - DS Father.

"My Mum does not like you and neither does my Brother". - Ex from years ago.

"I've decided I cannot be with you" - he had found someone else.

mtbmummy they are stunningly awful.. Really how could those words come out ? Gobsmacked!

My on-off boyfriend, second year of uni: "If he can touch you like that, then why can't I?"

This was the summer where I told him I'd been sexually assaulted the previous Christmas (when we were in an 'off' phase).

You wouldn't let me take you up the bum in a McDonalds car park

How dare you deny that?!

UABU MTB!

Wouldn't let him bum you in McDonalds car park? How very dare you!

Actually, the worst for me was what WASN'T said by an ex of mine. He just stopped contacting me. That was it. No explanation, no reply to my messages, nothing. Some months later, I bumped into him at a party and he acted like we'd never met.

I was absolutely devastated and it really messed up my life for a while. Horrible man.

We'd been together 7 years and were planning to start trying for a baby.

"'I've decided I want to be like Dave at work and have my first child when I'm 40"

As he was 3 years younger than me obviously I wasn't in the picture as the babymamma.

After I had found he had booked a trip to new york with the woman he was having an affair with, I was told that it was all my fault as I was: Boring as I never did anything interesting (apart from running our business, the house and looking after the DC obviously); Ill a lot of the time (wonder why) : and I didnt love him anyway.

Nice

I know I was awfully unreasonable, letting go a quality guy over such a trivial thing.

"You are just too fierce for me." Too right I was.

"You're just not the sort of girl one has a relationship with." (Just the sort one fucks, presumably.)

This one wasn't being dumped, it was an excuse for not holding hands in public. "Someone that knows my parents might see." Even though his parents lived a hundred miles away.

The nicest brush off I had was when I met someone from an online dating thing and I didn't really fancy him so I gave him NO signals at all (he told me about his 7 stone ex with the most amazingly natural breast implants). He text later me and said he'd had a really nice evening, really liked me but didn't feel a spark.
I thought that was really nice! I used it many many times after that!

Sounds like he's better at dumping than dating, Hippychick!

I was seeing a bloke for a few months in my early twenties. He dumped me by telling me (over the phone) that he wanted to sleep with two of his housemates, not at the same time as in a threesome. One was a woman, one was a man. He wanted to find out if he was straight, bi or gay. He was nearly 30 ffs. I ran pretty darn quick.

Within six weeks I was dating a mutual friend of ours (who I had known for a lot longer). Ex was jealous, because I had stolen his "pulling mate". 18 years later, me and the new bf are married with two dc. The ex lives somewhere in Spain in some kind of alternative commune.

Not exactly a line used to dump me with, but I was told by my first boyfriend that I did not look pretty when I laughed. He had just said something funny and I had unconsciously burst out laughing.

Luckily, he wasn't a natural wit, so he wasn't overly inflicted with my unattractive laughter.

Every subsequent partner has enjoyed my inane giggles.

I was told I wasn't intellectual enough and didn't appreciate poetry or literature enough.
I had an English degree , while the last I heard was that he was a barman - in his mid forties. Nobber!

you're too old - I don't want to be your carer. After 22 years of marriage.

My mum got dumped by text by someone she didn't even know she was seeing! We were on holiday and he texted that she was fun but he didn't want a relationship so he was letting her go and to enjoy her life. She texted back saying ok but hadn't been aware they were in a relationship!

They had simply met at a dance class and partnered sometimes. He had her number because he took her occasionally. Mad! Mum was amused.

"My mum doesn't think we'll ever get married"

You're still fairly young, you'll find someone else. What a ugly little bald headed t*at!.

Me returning ltr bf call " hi, its me"
Bf- " er, hello ( giggle giggle in background)
Me- " are you with someone? I can hear giggling"
Bf " yeah, matter of fact I am. My new gf" ( giggle giggle)
Me - " what?"
Exbf " she's really nice, I'm very happy"
Bang - sound of me slamming down phone.

Other LTR. Early morning, about 7.00am. I am outside in garage sorting animal feed. Sports car storms up drive, scatters gravel, 6 foot blonde woman gets out, throws me dirty look, marches across gravel in heels, hammers on door, gets let in.

I follow. She and LTR bf are sitting in dining room holding hands.

Me - who the fuck are you?
Her- x soul mate
Me-" like fuck you are." To bf - " who is this woman"
Him, gets soppy face on" its xx, we are in love. Her dh just found out about our two year affair and threw her out, she has nowhere to go. Won't you be late for work?"
Me - " what?" And so on.

He came back a week later and proposed to me. My laughter followed him down the drive:) twunt.

Lavender!