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Original poster

50/50 shared parenting- what works?

15 replies

makingfruitcake · 30/09/2013 13:48

I would be very grateful if you could share your experience of how to split time with the children. xh has suggested one week on, one week off, has anyone tried this?

OP posts:

Mueslimorning · 30/09/2013 14:17

We have this and it works for us, since April.

itwasarubythatshewore · 30/09/2013 14:40

We've been doing it for 2.5 years and it's worked very well, however it depends on lots of factors and we do not do it one week on, one week off. We did alternate days to begin with, then 2 days and now a pattern of more or less 3 days unless that falls over a weekend (we pretty much always split weekends). Feel free to PM me if you want to know any details.

goddessofmud · 30/09/2013 15:06

We have a 3 day rota. My DDs are 4 and 6 and I think a whole week of not seeing the other parent would be to much for them.

itwasarubythatshewore · 30/09/2013 15:29

I think a whole week of not seeing the other parent would be to much for them.
godessofmud Same here with child of similar age to yours.

FrancescaBell · 30/09/2013 15:43

Friends of ours have quite a complicated rota, so much so that I can't remember the exact detail! But in essence I think it's 4:3 one week and 3:4 the next with both having an even share of weekend days. Birthdays and Christmas involve seeing both parents for part of those days. They are very flexible about changes to the rota and always try to give eachother notice of a requested alteration, but are pragmatic enough to cope with a sudden crisis. Two children involved, one quite young (5 or 6).

They live near eachother and each house has school uniform.

HowardTJMoon · 30/09/2013 15:56

Week-on, week-off can work very well in that it's easily understandable and predictable for both DCs and parents. Living close to each other also makes a big difference as then issues over leaving things at the "wrong" house are easily resolved.

kittymchotpress · 30/09/2013 16:01

we have a 45/55 split which works but sounds a bit complicated ; Sunday & Mon with me, Tuesday & Wednesday with dad, Thursday me, weekend nights arranged as we go (one each).

It means I only have one day when I don't see DD and she sees lots of both of us. I don't think I could cope with one week away from her, but she is only wee. might have reassess when she starts school.

herald · 30/09/2013 16:46

We have just started a 50/50 arrangement, if I have DD for the weekend i drop her at school Monday morning, ex picks her up. She then drops her at school Wed morning and I pick her up. I then drop Fri morning the ex picks her up and keeps her for weekend. Then it starts again when ex drops her at school Monday morning.

I don't think I would not like to see her for a week, but also my job is flexible so I can do the arrangement.

Original poster

makingfruitcake · 30/09/2013 16:53

thank you all, nice to hear some success stories. I should have said, children are 4 and 6 and the intention is to live close to each other. book bags and uniforms are hard enough to manage in one household let alone two...

OP posts:

FrancescaBell · 30/09/2013 17:05

Sure, but make sure you're not the only one washing and ironing the one uniform and the after-school/weekend clothes, for two children. Having a few spares is sensible anyway in case of accidents.

kittymchotpress · 30/09/2013 18:17

I think it is important that you start as you mean to go on, so each person is responsible for their own time and there's no passing of dirty/clean washing etc. we have a quarterly clothes reshuffle and that seems to work ok. good luck.

Lonecatwithkitten · 30/09/2013 18:23

My DD is nearly 10 and we have had the current arrangement for nearly 18 months. She is with me Monday and Thursday and with her Dad Wednesday and Thursday. Then she is with each parent for 26 weekends per year Friday through to Monday morning. Or least this is how it is supposed to be over the last 4 months ExH is gradually whittling away to having less time.

ThePlEWhoLovedMe · 30/09/2013 18:40

I worked shifts when DS was younger and I wouldnt know my word days from week to week. I would call ExH each Sunday and let him know what nights he was having DS. This wasn't ideal but we were both flexible and as long as the split was 50/50 (ish) we were happy with the arrangements.

ExH never paid maintenance due to these arrangements

herald · 30/09/2013 19:29

Also to add to that I don't pay any maintenance to my exw we split all children cost 50/50 well we are meant to but she always moans she is skint, but finds money to go clubbing. But the kids don't go without.

kittymchotpress · 30/09/2013 19:55

another one who doesn't claim maintenance as we both have (fairly) equal input and big costs like nursery fees and birthdays/christmas are agreed in advance are shared. happily this seems to have worked out ok so far.

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