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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

JELLYJELLY - Support Thread

86 replies

looneytune · 26/06/2006 19:26

Sorry JellyJelly but I hoped you wouldn't mind me starting a thread for people to help you get through this difficult time.

Xdp is being a total a*se and you need all the friends you can get at the moment!

EVERYONE, PLEASE GIVE EXTRA SUPPORT ON SATURDAY (1ST JULY) as this will be a very hard day for JellyJelly - I'm worried about her being on her own! Anyone got any idea's what she should do to take her mind off it (I really wish I could be there for her but that day I have my neice and nephew for reasons some of you may already know).

Hope you don't mind me doing this JellyJelly

xxxxx

OP posts:
shhhh · 26/06/2006 19:48

shoe shopping is usually my idea of a good relaxing day..minus worries..

Don't know your history jellyjelly but wish you the best come the 1st. Will think of you. xx

hermykne · 26/06/2006 19:49

wash and blow dry!?? invite a friend to lunch at home in the garden
hth - and hope it goes well on the 1st

tribpot · 26/06/2006 19:52

JellyJelly definitely needs not to be on her own, but out and celebrating her lucky escape from marriage to a complete arse of the highest order. A man whose tosserishness knows no bounds.

I know you have important commitments this coming weekend looneytunes, but can JellyJelly's other friends / local MNers lend support? In such a situation I feel that copious amounts of wine are helpful, along with pampering, gossiping and focusing on what is good about being a single gal. I would personally go for a film fest including such treats as Private Benjamin (Goldie punches her fiance at the altar).

DevilsAdvocado · 26/06/2006 20:05

Hey girl..If I was in the area I would be the first to come knocking with a bag of ingredients to cook a lunch and a crate of wine!! But, alas, I am not Ask some of your girl mates to come over round lunch time.. spend the afternoon getting ready to go out, drinking copious amounts of wine and champagne.. head to town and flirt and dance and snog all the men you can see... maybe even have a 1 night stand eh? If that's not your style then do something else, that will remind you that you are alive and have just had the narrowest of escapes!!!! Did you have any luck selling the holiday?

looneytune · 26/06/2006 20:06

here is the original thread - complete ar*ehole!

OP posts:
shhhh · 26/06/2006 20:14

I was just searching for the thread and found it..I do remember reading it now. What a shame...

I take it this was meant to be "her" day..? I would go to town for a bit of quality shopping with my girlfriends, have a lovely lunch and a few glasses of champers and toast to the lucky escape you got jellyjelly.
Go home, get dressed (possibly into something new you just brought) and go out for the night. Again with your girlfriends (they should be, after all they were meant to be with you today afterall). I would have the best time ever and be happy to know that you have the fun and excitement of dating again in the future. It may seen sad and unreal at the moment BUT there will come aday when you look back and smile. Smile for the freedom you have been given.

Hope the day goes nice for you xxx

looneytune · 27/06/2006 08:15

Oh yeah, she's applied for a job and I really want her to get it!

PLEASE SEND YOUR POSITIVE VIBES!!!

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 27/06/2006 09:42

I know i have had a lucky escape just got to try and sort things out now. Trying to make mine and my sons life better for the future. Feeling down alot now after feeling sorted for 3 days now down.

I am finding it hard to find the enthusiam for life.

looneytune · 27/06/2006 10:02

Oh jellyjelly Totally understandable. I really wish we could do our night out sooner rather than later. Is there no one else who can babysit apart from your parents???? You need to get out!! When are you supposed to be going away for your break? Maybe that will help, you know, you and ds away from the house with the memories etc?!

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 27/06/2006 10:23

break not for a couple of weeks as will now be working when the honeymoon should have taken place.

I dont want to ask him to babysit so no, noone else.

looneytune · 27/06/2006 10:29

What about other mates??? (didn't mean him btw, he's a pig and that's being polite!)

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 27/06/2006 10:43

most of them have got kids and i dont want ds to feel like he has been abandoned which he is starting to feel.

looneytune · 27/06/2006 15:19
Sad
OP posts:
shhhh · 27/06/2006 16:15

can you 2 not go out for an "alcohol free" get together so you can take your son jellyjelly..? I know it won't be as mad as a girls night out with booze but at least you will have a break..?? Then you still have the girls night out you have planned for later..??

How about going to the park for a picnic or to a kids fun place where you can chat etc while ds plays etc..? Just a suggestion..

heavenis · 27/06/2006 16:24

What about going to your parents,taking ds with you and you can have a few drinks and put the world to rights with them when ds is in bed.
Did his parents come down to see you ?
I really hope you have something to do this weekend.

looneytune · 27/06/2006 16:27

shhhh - if you're referring to this weekend then I only wish I could but I have plans (you may know from my thread about my sister?!)

Jelly - I know your parents are going away the day after but if they get packed in time etc, surely they'd have you over for the day/night? Please ask them! I'll email your mum if you don't!!

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 27/06/2006 17:24

She has suggested that we take ds to the zoo on the day so i get a break and go and stay with them for the night for a few drinks but all i want to do is sleep. Is it normal to feel so exhausted????

jellyjelly · 27/06/2006 18:01

You lot should be proud, i made a friend today who is a single mum and we are going to the school bbq together with our kids next weekend. I had seen her around and we started talking when i had my 'how to suceed as a single parent' book on the table; she said how good it was and how i was. i thought it was really nice of her to talk as it is quite obvious that i was new to it.

heavenis · 27/06/2006 18:47

Well done JellyJelly. I hope you and your new friend have a great time.
Are her children a similar age to your ds.

jellyjelly · 27/06/2006 19:39

Theyare in the same block at nursery,(started at the same time and they play together) used to see her and smile and now we know each other a bit.

heavenis · 28/06/2006 09:22

Thats good then JellJelly. I hope the weekend goes ok for you. Sending you happy vibes.

Kathlean · 28/06/2006 09:25

Hi JellyJelly I have nothing more to add to any of the fantasic support you have been given but can you have a BBQ and 'toast' some of ex's piccies (-:

Good luck.

fransmom · 28/06/2006 10:08

oh babe i'm sorry you having such a rough time jelly x ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

have a couple more addresses for you:
GINGERBREAD, 7sovereign close, sovereign court, london, e1w 3hw. (020) 7488 0885 (admin) and 0800 018 4318 (advice line mon-fri 9-5)
www.gingerbread.org.uk

NATIONAL COUNCIL FOR ONE PARENT FAMILIES 255 kentish town road, london, 0800 018 5026 (m-f,
9-5), www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk.

according to the book i have, ncopf can help with all kinds of advice such as maintenace, tax credits, benefits, work, education, legal rights, childcare and holidays. and they also have other information on other organisations and local groups who may be able to help.

hth x thinking of you and you ds
(((((((hugs))))))

looneytune · 28/06/2006 14:02

well done jellyjelly

fransmom - great bit of info there, have passed on to my BIL too and he's very grateful. add anything else that's good for single parents as if jellyjelly can't use it, I'm sure my BIL and others can

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 28/06/2006 15:03

You can get free meals and milk through tax credits if and only if you get income support.