The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through The Autumn Scenes, Searching For Our Sober Dreams.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :) Welcome to the Bus, (aka Gerald ).

I'm one of the Brave Babes on board this fabulous Bus of travellers, all in search of their sobriety in one form or another.

We have those who drink in moderation, those who have a set pattern of days on and off the booze, and we have posters who have been sober for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years.

There are two lines that the Bus has painted down the side, one on each -

The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement and Alcohol Fosters Inertia

So, if you think you're drinking too much or you're worried about another person, then come find a seat.

We get through our days chatting about all sorts of things, life is, after all, full of plenty of things to fuel our desire to drink, and we're all very different people

However, our common goal is sobriety. :)

The Last Thread

The Reason We're Here - The First Thread

why I am appalled at the way you have been treated but I am also in awe of your determination - the love you have for your baby is screaming out from your posts. You can do this. We are all here to help you. Each moment that passes is done and dusted, you will never have to do it again. You are on a really tough journey but you are not alone x

beaches I would probably be in and out of the bath or up and down the road in 5 minutes flat just to get it done so I could carry on - this made me

But the point is, you don't carry on. That's it. You are stopped for the day. And tomorrow, well, you worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

You wake up refreshed, with a clear head, no hangover, no feelings of guilt, say to yourself, today I will not be drinking, and get on with your day

Oh Why you poor thing. All these hoops you are jumping through and yet they keep putting more disappointments in your way. You have come such a long way. You are showing your son and yourself what huge inner strength you have. Keep moving forward, I believe you will get him back and it will be worth it. Lots of love to you xxxx

Faire oh you meant a cut off point not a delay tactic! Anyway it is thanks to you and the other lovely babes that I didn't drink last night despite DH opening the wine. A sincere thank you all xxx

Wishing you all a good and calm day

I'm still poorly, and I think DH has had enough. I feel so poorly and I keep snapping at Nemo

DH left too late to get to the pharmacy on time to get my meds, I knew he wouldn't make it, but they are horrid and slam the door in your face at bang on 12pm. So, I now have no morphine for the entire weekend, even though they know us, and that it would only have been a collection and taken them a second to get it. No payments, no use of the till etc...

Now I'll have to go and get them on Monday when I go to my acupuncture if I'm well enough. I am so going to tear someone a fucking new one. He said he got to the door to go in, turned to get Nemo up the step and they'd locked the door mouthing 'we're shut' at him.

I fucking hate jobsworths and I hope that one of them is reading this and realises the stress and upset they have caused us for the weekend, thank you Caxton Pharmacy, thank you very much.

Sorry not the NC back, I've just had enough to be honest. I'm not allowed to be ill, I'm not allowed to not eat because I don't feel like it, I'm getting sighed at all the time and I want to go to bed and cry. And cry. And cry some more. I think it's a warm toasty lit fire and playing with Nemo day today.

Sorry for being so maudlin, it's how I feel and I can't say that to DH, he's just as exhausted and run down as me.

Sorry xxx

Mouse don't be afraid to call on family and friends. You know that if any of us lived near enough we'd be round like a shot. You give so much to others, please let them give something back. Even if you could ask someone to pop round with a casserole for later, or something?

Day in front of the fire sounds lovely, I really miss our open fire. Am thinking of getting a wood burner (one day).

Poormouse and why. You both have so Mich to face and are doing so well.
Things are actually OK here, but I am not. Been searching menopause and think that must be it. I am so fucking irritable and downright angry all the time,'miserable as sin, tearful, missed a period but feel like its going to happen any minute. I have come off Citalopram completely so maybe that's it.

Mouse you poor woman. Just so exhausted. Would give anything to be able to nip round to yours with dinner and some form of relief. Hang in there.

rural You said that you just can't imagine a lifetime without drinking. There is a reason we say 'one day at a time '! If at the start you can't imagine going to a wedding sober, or doing a Christmas/Holidays sober etc it just shows you are jumping the gun a bit. I hate a lot of the sobriety platitudes, but some of them really work. One day at a time may be the most widely used phrase, but it is so true in early sobriety. A person (apologize for yet another AA tale) recounted telling his sponsor at the beginning of his recovery, " Sober life is boring" to which his sponsor promptly responded, 'No, you're boring'. He said he thought about the insult for a while and then it dawned on him: of course I find sitting in watching the TV sober to be boring, it is. I am boring. I can't remember what he did about it, hobby etc but I could identify with it. Not as easy to translate for women as we tend to have more responsibilities in the house, but it holds some truth for me anyway. I am in no way suggesting you are boring rural I guess what I'm saying is don't think about your current living habits only sober, think of a whole new way of life.

DH was so concerned about me last night that he had BIL stay while the baby slept and came and met me for dinner and to give me hugs and cuddles. To my surprise DH has also given up all alcohol and has an appointment with an outpatient place (he is not an alcoholic). A sober life together with our boy is what he says. Could I feel any luckier or loved?

Why So pleased to hear you sounding more positive x

Ma The menopause - horrible horrible time.
Hope you feel better cherie x

I am still drinking as it is too dangerous to just give up when you have epilepsy.

All over the place but see that others are far worse.

Just keep my seat at the back

why Thank you so much for thinking of me when you have so much to cope with. I know you are right. When I fill up my evenings with drinking wine I am boring and during my 14 days AF I did start to do things I haven't done in years. I am so glad you had a lovely evening with your DH and you are feeling positive. Soon the bad times will be in the past just keep doing what you're doing. I am in awe of you

mouse hope you are coping and as faire suggested got some help from family or friends. Really hope you feel better soon.
ma hope you are OK menopause is a rough time but sounds more like it might be related to coming of Citalopram.
I am on day 2 and having done 14 days know how much better I felt for it.
So ffs why did I pick up on Thursday?
Onwards and upwards and as why said ODAAT.

Sharpkat sorry to hear you are all over the place, hang on in there x

Sweet Mouse, what a nightmare about the drugs, is there any kind of out of hours dispensing? Must feel like Monday is a long way away. Being really ill is so draining but don't feel guilty about snapping or needing to lean on dh, you are doing your best which I am sure is better than many. Take care. x

Why so glad that you are feeling lucky and loved, your dh sounds great.

Ma I was going to try and write something funny about 'power surges' but then I remembered you were irritable so.....

Dame - off to bed but just wanted to say thank you and I luffs you xxx

Night all :)

Be back properly tomorrow :)

isinde don't know what to suggest, I'm sure you've already thought of stuff like trying to sit down with DP and thrash it out.. could you get a friend to mediate somehow... have you already talked but she doesn't see your point of view or what?

ma my DH is a grumpy sod, and. I'm fairly sure he's not suffering from menopause so he doesn't even have a good excuse!

mouse hope you get a good night's sleep

Blimey, Isinde I wish you were my wife

Well it sounds like your DP is not happy with her role, maybe she needs something else

I've had 2 glasses of wine (frustrating trying to make that last all evening!) Only 2 glasses, yet I can feel some reflux.... tooth comes out on Monday

indie this is all not good, my friend. Forgive me for butting into you marriage but I am something of an expert on crap unfair ones so here goes. You are the breadwinner, the only breadwinner, and you work away from home a lot. Yet you seem to do all the housework, and all the cooking which is dictated by DPS dietary beliefs. We would all rather do our own thing than clear up after ourselves - dp is being a bit precious with that one.
I suspect, indie dearest you drink for the same reason I do. That you are inherently unhappy and it takes the edge of.hmmmm?
Now maybe its time to either get with do with some calm buddhist-type mediation, or lose the rag and tell her to get her fucking finger out and start pulling her weight!
Here endeth the marriage guidance session

Isinde I have the box ... I have the cheese and crackers ... and a large Lasagne ... If I wasn't a little bit frighted of your DP, I would send it over tout suite. 'though the meals you make do sound really nice, cashew nut butter? I'll have to try that one. Sorry you're not seeing eye to eye over the domestic arrangements, it does sound unfair to me, but I don't know what you can do about it, it's tricky and it must be so frustrating for you.

Mouse I really hope things are better for you today lovely x

All other babes Sorry not to NC, but going out in a mo to see some friends (bloody freezing here though, so big jumper on - I love big jumpers)

Should hear about my job over the next couple of days, keep your fingers crossed for me?

Isinde people who are being unreasonable in their expectations or behaviour, often do know it but just don't want to face it.

I know you are very supportive of your dp and I think that, coupled with a reasonable discussion about what she can expect from you, might be a way forward.

If she can openly accept that she has been just a tad unreasonable, then there is room to move forward and start compromising. If not, I really don't know, my friend, it's up to you to say how much you are prepared to tolerate.

Hope you get some sort of clarity without going back to the bottle. You have been doing so well but you cannot heal yourself unless you put your own needs above others sometimes x

Quiet on here today. Hope everyone is OK.
I am going to try low carbing again tomorrow and have set myself a target of losing a pound a week so that I can hopefully get into my posh frock for the award dinner in 7 weeks time. I should be able to do that, shouldn't I?

Deffo ma

Hello ma it's not quiet in my house - DH and DD had another fight, and I am so fed up of trying to keep the peace between them! I haven't had a drink though (recent trip to the dentist gave me such a shock) I did think about going to the shop but walked the dog instead.

Well done alias. That would have been a trigger situation for me!