She knew he was married!!!

[Putitonthelist]

She knew his W was pregnant. That they had a young DD.

Her marriage had ended because her H had been unfaithful and left her with 2 young boys. WTF??

I know everyone says he's the married one and that's true, but how can you inflict such pain on someone else when you have been there yourself????

For some reason when ex left me for another woman, I didn't blame her for it at all.

She is a horrible person in many ways but that's not the issue - it was entirely his choice to leave me for her.

I was very angry with him, not just for leaving but for showing that he had never cared for me or ds at all - and actually, mostly, for the lying and the disrespect and the deceit he inflicted on us.

He was and still is an utter wanker, but she's neither here nor there - he would have done it with someone else if it wasn't her, and she didn't make him lie to me or be unfaithful, he totally chose that route himself.

Good luck to her really because he's a cunt.

Un fucking believable. Another one with no morals crawls out of the wood work.

Yep thought time for a bit more honesty on affairs and why they happen. I am sure we will hear usual minute platitudes of "the cheater script" rolled out; once a cheater always a cheater, he should have finished it first because life is nice and neat, ow a bitch and exw a saint, affair partnrs never last etc etc etc what a load of old crap
Reality is a little less black and white

Unashamed- You sound delightful.
What a charming example you must be to your children.

Totally agree with you rooners. That's how I felt about it. However, doesn't mean she wasn't in the wrong. He owed you not to cheat but people should have enough moral conscience not to get involved with married men. To do it and feel sad about it is one thing. To be proud of it and brag like unashamed has just done. Sick.

How long have you been with him unashamed? Life's a long old journey. Hope you don't ever go through a rough patch....

He must have loved her and enjoyed sex with her to marry her unashamed People don't change overnight - she must have been like that before they married.

I don't think anyone assumes all first wives are saints; but it is dishonest to start another relationship when you're still in one. It's nice everyone in your set up is happier now unashamed, it's certainly true some marriages are not worth trying to fix.

I'm sure things would have been a lot simpler if your husband had ended his marriage before he took up with you though.

You're right rooners. I think you're just looking for a reaction unashamed, I regret giving you one really. If you aren't just here to cause upset then I guess you and your other half are very much deserving of each other

Unahamed what happened to your ds's father?? Didn't you look after him?

Karma is alive and kicking....what you put into the universe, you get out.

Well it had better fucking hurry up 'cos I'm running out of time

What Chub said

Those banging on about karma, what a load of rubbish. If that was true why do bad things happen to good people.

I do have to admit, that with cheating stats as high as they are that not all OW or OM are bitches/ bastards. Also, I have seen many, many fragile marriages where one of the partners is clearly taking advantage of the other but are surprised if their poor spouse cheats.

I think 'all's fair in love and war' is much more prevalent in people's thinking than MN would like. I have good friends who have been unfaithful and it doesn't make me think anything less of them. All i want is not to be complicit in their infidelity.

I agree she just wanted a reaction, pathetic. I gave one...couldn't help it. To write what she did on a post about a poor woman being left pregnant and a small child....outrageous. Fucking hideous. Your children must be so proud "my step dad isn't my real dad...he was married when they met but we're all happy now". Urgh.

Karma comes in all forms. Unashamed can brag all she likes. Are you telling me that anyone who gets with a married man doesn't worry somewhere in her mind about him doing the same to her. That's karma. Get with a cheater...worry about it happening to you.

Mamma: I am the only one on here to answer the ops question! ...
And forgot "the script" includes karma with get the ow, and "when you marry the mistress you create a vacancy". Yawn yawn

Karma as a concept ( and I'm a buddhist) is rather more complex than the way it is often cited on this site. I'm somewhat surprised when people trot it out as part of an opinion or argument when it is part of a bigger philosophy, as if it was a common held truth.

The fact of the matter is that life is unfair in many ways. Not all wives and husbands behave in a way that facilitates a continuing and happy relationship with their partner and if that partner decides to leave them because they see a chance of happiness with someone else I don't really think that is always so bad. What I do dislike is snappy rudness to anyone who voices a differing view from the norm on relationships threads.

I sadly don't believe in karma either but I absolutely agree that there will be permanent trust issues with one or both persons complicit in the affair.

even people who aren't with a cheater can worry about it though. My first fiance was convinced I'd be unfaithful and I never, ever was. Dumped his arse though after one jealous outburst too many.

I feel very sorry for OP's friend, I would be beyond furious and betrayed. To do that to her, especially at such a vulnerable time would make it very hard to ever forgive.

I don't believe in karma either. However I do believe that going through life as an entitled, heartless, selfish cow is not condusive to lifelong happiness. Yours, or those in your orbit.

And another part of MN "the script on cheaters" (being posted now on another thread)... All ow are riddled with vd so if you have been cheated on you MUST get sti testing (And other anti feminist virgins and whores dialogue).

Worried - he has told my friend he will be there for his DD and his new DC but he loves the OW and their marriage is over. So at this moment in time it looks like she doesn't even have the opportunity to salvage anything.

Don't agree with the STI, of course not all other ow sleep around.

Higgle...I was using the word karma loosely, to describe the idea of what you put out into the world you get back. I do believe this. You treat people like shit you get shit back and cause yourself drama. Apologies if you think I've used the term incorrectly.

Won't apologise if my posts to unashamed were snappy. If she had used her story without actually a) slagging off her step children's mother and b) not sounding proud of causing distress to another human being I might not be of the opinion that she's a nasty piece of work