Not sure where this should go

[MakeMeJumpIntoTheAir]

Lying cheating bastard has now gone out of the house probably to OW - I'm with dd but looking to find a rental. I haven't got any money as yet, but when I do, which shouldn't be long, I need to use most of it to clear debts. Rentals around here are around £850 for a 2 bed house or flat. Do I need to see the council about housing benefit as I won't be able to afford to live on my wage? Is it a case of looking on entitled to these days and then making an appointment with someone. I've no idea where to start really. Do I do all this before applying for a place to live?

I would be grateful for any advice. I cannot bear to stay here. House going on market soon.

I'm assuming you've tried everything possible to get the lying cheating bastard to move out rather than you and DD having to relocate? If there was any justice he'd be the one camping out on sofas or searching for a rental. And do you have good legal advice - solicitor or CAB - on your rights regarding maintenance, accommodation and so forth? Definitely have a look at the benefits checker at www.turn2us.org.uk to give you an idea about what you may be entitled to. Then you should talk to your local council - many have walk-in help-desks.

housing bebefits are calculated by your council and they will be able to advise you how to go on abut it

Yes look on entitled to for an idea, but contact your local council, as some will help you with a grant for your deposit too.

he's out but it took some doing. we don't want to stay here, too much to make me feel sick. We need to go. Will contact the council next week, thanks for you help all. Yes solicitor any day now.

I'm glad he's left. Realise you have your reasons for wanting to start fresh somewhere new but try not to let emotion dictate your decisions. If the house is only just going on the market it could take quite some time to sell and I'm pretty sure the council won't grant housing benefit to someone who is an existing home-owner..

Didn't think of that - I'm all over the place aren't I!

Why oh why did he do this to me.

Why? Usually it's some combination of selfishness, wanting something different, thoughtlessness. Occasionally there's a malicious element to it - deliberately hurting the other person - but mostly it's selfish. They do what they want and those left behind are just collateral damage - they make their omelette and break your eggs. I realise that it's painful but hashing over the 'why' will bring you down even further. Do you have friends or family you can be with? Someone to talk to ?

Yes only my son and work colleagues. My family are up north. My son is a huge support, bless him.

Could you go stay with anyone for a while? Take a break and regroup? I remember when my marriage ended it coincided with the opportunity to travel a lot for my job. Having a diversion that allowed me time away from the house rather than sat home dwelling on the past was helpful.

No, due to work and school location/commitments.