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Relationships

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Original poster

A crush that isnt a crush?

7 replies

dragonslipperss · 08/09/2013 13:15

Is it possible to have a crush but not be overly sexually attracted to the person? I'm wondering if anyone can relate to this feeling.

OP posts:

pickledsiblings · 08/09/2013 13:29

Isn't that the definition of a crush?

TeaCuresEverything · 09/09/2013 22:47

I can. I have a work colleague who isn't overly sexually attractive or really my type at all. But he's kind and funny and I'm afraid to say I think about him far more than is healthy I put it down to my marriage being in a bad place and feeling down about that. This man makes me feel better. I wish it wasn't so, but it is. Is that the sort of thing you mean?

Bogeyface · 09/09/2013 23:00

I think it is a friendship crush in that you have a strong emotional draw to them, want to be their special (only?) friend, but have no sexual feelings.

I have felt like this about someone. I wanted all the best bits of marriage with him but none of the sex as I just didnt see him in that way.

I went off it eventually, especially after I realised what a control freak he was which made me understand why his wife isnt happy and he has so few friends.

BangOn · 10/09/2013 20:53

Yes, although sometimes the emotional thing comes first & the sexual attraction follows. I tend to find that with my female crushes more than the ones i have on men.

Nagoo · 10/09/2013 22:08

Is that what people mean when they talk about emotional affairs? You are over involved but not sexually?

Bogeyface · 10/09/2013 22:11

Nagoo I think it depends. If both parties are involved then yes it is an affair, even if there is nothing sexual going on. But if one person is emotionally attracted to another it is either not reciprocated or the other person doesnt know, then it is an emotional crush.

Sandychick31 · 21/09/2013 21:44

Yes. I think it is. I've sort of had a 'crush' on a colleague who, even though only 22 at the time, I thought had an amazingly 'mature' personality. Admittedly, maturity may mean different things to different people. However, he was quite nice looking, but I've had enough crushes to know that this was JUST based on PERSONALITY alone and for this reason did not develop into a STRONG, OBSESSIVE crush like most of my previous ones.

For example, unlike most crushes, I hardly really thought about this guy unless I actually saw him. With me, a feature of most of practically all my 'real' crushes is I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME.

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