Bad enough to leave?

[whathappensnext2013]

Help please

Think 'D'P is emotionally and financially abusive - no idea what to do. I think I want to get out, but I'm scared I'm blowing everything out of proportion...

Poor you, tell us a bit about what's going on, whathappensnext2013?

Call woman's aid for RL conversation, describe your life to them and see what they say.

Do you want to talk to us about it?

I think i am in a similar situation. Lots of little things have happened. Sometimes i wish he would make the decision for me and leave.

Financially - after tax, he earns just over 4k pm. Plus uses my tax allowance (am SAHM), to take another £650 pm out of his business accounts (I don't see this money). I get an 'allowance' of £100 pm - to include petrol, mobile phone and day to day things (coffee in town/car parking etc). He thinks that is generous - was originally going to be £50. Anything else I have to ask for.

That's exactly it epic

He's now asking what I'm typing - back later.

well he sounds quite bad, but even if he was all sweetness and light, the only reason you need to leave is the wish to. i appreciate that life is more complicated than that, of course - he sounds tight and interfering though, at least.

if you do leave, you should make plans to do so with minimal support from him, since he can't bring himself to be generous to you while you are supposedly the person he loves most. he will be worse when he has license to hate you. i know that's blunt, but you do need to get yourself sorted out as best you can before you go - get copies of as much paperwork as possible, and get financial advice.

Yes this sounds to me like financial abuse, so sorry. And if you have just scuttled away from the computer due to his questioning then he also sounds emotionally abusive. Please call Women's Aid ASAP (Monday when he's at work?).

It's definitely financial abuse.

He is using your tax free allowance to take money out of his business, but don't see a penny of it?

I'm not sure that's even legal.

He wanted you to live on £50 a month while he had over £4000?

He's treating you as a pet.

You need CAB advice, work out what your entitlements are, and you need to get guidance on likely CSA suggestions for how much he'd be liable to pay you for maintenance.

I bet you are broke all the time eh? £100 won't go far if petrol's in thé equation.

bloody hell.
I work and see no income (self employed failing business) and I spend more than £100 a month on essentials. spending money.

have you dcs? wherevdoes tgeir money come from
?

what abbout groceries etc? do you have to ask for that? and housekeeping?

He's now asking what I'm typing - back later. That alone makes me worry for you.

Awful. Really awful. Do you have to buy your own clothes out of that? Are your clothes a lot cheaper than his? Does he have a lot more treats than you?

Me too MrsTerryPratchett. Not good OP. I hope you are OK. It sounds like is financially controlling there and possibly not stopping there with his controlling behaviour

I'd give Women's Aid a call when you have the chance.

Also I'd recommend you use private browsing delete mumsnet from browsing history and don't save passwords and log off of things etc etc. in case he goes snooping.

Please be careful OP, make sure you are browsing safely and make sure you log out or delete netmums from the history each time.

Does anyone know where that thread about deleting your history was? In Site Stuff, maybe?

Watch out for google search history too op. I went into google on my tablet and it came up with searches (d) h did on his tablet.

Did you report Jagdkuh or are you just breaking the Talk Guidelines for fun?

Jag is all over the board posting provocative shit