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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Travelling Far And Wide, With Sobriety In Mind.

1000 replies

Mouseface · 04/09/2013 15:02

Welcome to the Bus one and all! I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes :)

We have a new line that we're taking with us on every journey, thanks to one of our wonderful Babes, Curry -

Alcohol Fosters Inertia.

So when you're drinking excessively, nothing changes, or improves, the sharp edges of our lives just becomes that little bit less in focus, blurred and all you feel is numb. Then like shit (emotionally, as well as physically) if you're honest! Who wants that?

You are only ever better/pacified/happy whilst the alcohol is in your system. And that doesn't last........... it's not a cure, it's a quick fix. A sticking plaster.

So, if you think you're drinking too much, and want some friendly advice, or just to come and have a chat, get to know others who are just like you, who won't judge or criticise you, then hop on board! :)

We're a really mixed bunch and all at different stages of our journey to find sobriety or certainly drinking in a more controlled, less dangerous way.

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far, have a look at the links below :)

LAST THREAD

THE STARTING POINT AND WHY WE'RE ALL HERE

OP posts:
Pawprint · 08/09/2013 02:55

Hi babes and welcome Sausage Smile

Well, I've rather a boozy weekend. Hungover today :( really need to get a grip

Greeneyed · 08/09/2013 07:12

Morning all! Welcome sausage hope you slept okay. What's the plan today do you want to have an alcohol free day (just for today). If so you need a plan. Remove all alcohol from the house get an alternative treat in ( chocolate, cake etc) and have something to do this evening, even if it is cleaning out the kitchen cupboards. I've been known to spend day one in my bedroom, bathed in PJs with laptop or book because the winewitch won't get me there.

If it is possible to get some exercise today it will help with being more tired and relaxed this evening. Can you get outside? Jog, walk, gardening, this will lift your mood. Stay with us and we'll help you through today.

paw hope you are feeling better today, what's your plan now?

Lots of wonderful supportive posts last night, you babes rock :) x

Isindesidecar · 08/09/2013 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobblypop · 08/09/2013 08:58

morning all.
omg did you hold out..well done if you did
indis I would LOVE to be able to go to bed at 7 every evening.
mouse sounds like you've had so much to deal with

well, I resisted ww last night. rubbish evening though. took ages to get dc to bed.... arguments with Dh...etc..
glad I didn't drink, but I feel rubbish this morning, so low,want to just hide in bed. I supposedly drinking means you actually have to face up to things that are wrong in your life. just sat here crying feeling carp. no sign of any going today. Sad

Ladame · 08/09/2013 08:58

Inde someone wiser will be along in a minute, I'm sure. Uuurgh, just think a Monday hangover. Is there anything worse? If it was me, I would have to say that there is a reason I can't, i.e. not well; reaction with medication, or something like that. Even that you have stuff to do with DT's the next day. Otherwise it would have to be damage limitation ... loads of nibbles (and keep nibbling), bottles of fizzy water everywhere, after eight mints (they soo don't mix with wine), play a silly board game; have coffee on the go etc etc.

I'm actually looking forward to the start of my 4/7. Didn't massively overdo it on holiday, but I can really notice that I'm not feeling as good as when I have my days off. Have a brilliant Sunday all babes and omg Loving the new name btw. What a difference in your posts Grin

allnewme · 08/09/2013 08:58

Hello all Smile
After yet another morning wondering what I did last night Hmm I'd like to hop on board please.
DP's in the other room and has said to me would I put up with him being drunk every night.

I can't remember doing anything wrong last night apart from drunkenly making dinner and making a bit of a mess of it.

Then reconsidering "all I did wrong was buggering the dinner because of being drunk"
I suddenly realised who am I kidding !?!

I then realised that I've stubbornly refused to accept responsibility for my drinking because I'm a functioning alcoholic afterall I have a good job, the children are well cared for, developmentally ahead of their peers etc etc
I then also realised because Ive had not accepted responsibility, Ive not also been sorry for my actions. What a cow Ive been. Sad

I wouldnt smoke around the kids so why do the fuck do I think its acceptable to down between a 1/4 and 1/2 bottle of vodka a night, with kids around, whilst leaving DP to cope with sadness and loneliness of watching me slowly killing myself and our relationship.

So that's it. I'm on board ladies. Smile
Hopefully tomorrow morning I will have completed day one of my new life Shock

bobblypop · 08/09/2013 08:59

any boing not going!

dementedma · 08/09/2013 09:05

allnewme great post and sounds like you are facing up to some hard truths. Well done.
I drank last night and feel shit this morning so looking forward to boot camp starting tomorrow and going AF. Going to a party tonight - on a fecking Sunday!-so have volunteered to drive to keep me on the straight and narrow.

lonnika · 08/09/2013 09:10

morning all - welcome newbies xxxx
Well my week was shocking - so hers hoping this one Is much better :)
Feeling better today - not sleeping great though :(.
On a plus all the stress has made me loose weight -:).
Wedding anniversary to oz so of out for meal today.

NExt week is also going to be busy as have childcare problems :(
Oh well hopefully by next weekend things will be much calmer :)
Love you all Lx

ThisIsMyTime · 08/09/2013 09:41

Morning peeps feeling a bit shitty on day 4/1 If that's how u work it? Drank a bottle of wine along with the couple of glasses of fiz do miss the freshness I felt yesterday but all the same have to live with it. Not too down on myself as I enjoyed my evening. The bus moved so fast last night will catch up and try to name check later welcome newbies x

allnewme · 08/09/2013 11:15

dementedma
Thank You, DP and just had a long chat. He was furious with me. My drinking has really worn him down. Sad

Why did it take so long to realise and admit to myself how awful I have been.

Finally now I have, Thank God.

Fairenuff · 08/09/2013 11:56

new that's the most important step. You have recognised there is a problem and now you are going to do something about it.

What are you going to do different today? What time would you normally start drinking. It helps to change your routines and get different drinks in to replace the alcohol.

It's just one day, my lovely, you can do it. Keep posting, especially if you feel a wobble coming on.

bobbly just sat here crying feeling carp - if stroking a carp makes you feel better, you go for it girl! Grin

When you've finished, pop him in the tank with Barry the squid.

But seriously, no-one said it would make everything better but if you drank as well you would be beating yourself up for that right now. Take some time for yourself today. Can you rest, read a book, go for a walk on your own or a swim. Try to find a little bit of peace, just half an hour that is just for you x

This is a special button I've installed on the dashboard for all the babes. Press it whenever you are feeling a bit down and maybe, just maybe, it will raise a Smile

babyjane1 · 08/09/2013 11:59

Morning babes, big hi to .all welcome babe and well done for facing up to your issues, stacks of help and support here to get you through, I was glued to my phone for the first days and the support and wisdom on here kept me going in the knowledge I was not alone . You can do this. sausage hope your ok and looking forward to getting to know you. Right my lovely gals I'm off for a swim then a big Sunday roast so altogether now, heads up; bums in boobs out, that's better xxxx

Fairenuff · 08/09/2013 12:03

Bums in? I look funny when I do that Grin

OMGWillSucceed · 08/09/2013 12:13

Faire I just tried the button and it really worked Grin

Ps now on day 5 - not as boing as yesterday as had to leavevdd to boat for 7 and thats now me on own for next while.

babyjane1 · 08/09/2013 12:41

I meant tums on, everyone stop the odd butt clenching, pelvis thrusting movement and just breathe in. faire I laughed so much I cried, your a bloody genius, and it definately works, love it love it love it. Xxx

Anneisnotmyname · 08/09/2013 13:13

Welcome all newbies, keep reading, keep posting it will help more than you'd think possible :) I remember years back encouraging my dh to go to GA (he has a serious gambling problem :( ) precisely because for all I could sympahtise I could not emphaise, and I hoped that with like minded people he could get the real help he needed. Obviously this isn't the same thing, or same problem, but every now and again you will read something and have a light bulb moment. It's also a great place to vent Grin

Anyways I'm on day one again!!! Had just less than half a bottle of red last night. I feel ok, bit groggy first thing, but I've eaten my weight in chocolate. I must be weird, I don't have sugar cravings if I'm not drinking wine.

lonnika hope you have a better week this week. I struggle with childcare and I know what a total headache it can be (I can't find paid childcare to cover the hours/shifts I work).

Bobbly sorry you are feeling so low but imagine how much worse you'd feel if you'd drank as well. Try to take comfort in the fact that despite all the stresses and strains you did not give in the ww

isinde with your sister could you not stick to drinking beer, I know it's still alcohol but it sounds like you can control it. I'd suggest saying your taking antibiotics but from what you've posted about your sister I'd imagaine she would know with most of them you can drink. I've become quite the expert on knowing what medications I can mix with my wine, and how they can work together to increase the effect Blush

Had a bit of an Hmm moment earlier. DD had a sleepover and I was saying to dh we would have to reciprocate, and I would not want to have even one drink whilst responsible for dd's friend. So why do I think it's ok to have half a bottle whilst looking after my own dds? Do I value their welbeing less than their friend's???

Mouseface · 08/09/2013 13:43

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

MASSIVE TMI TMI TMI TMI

Last night I woke to the most horrific urge to go to the loo, 2.30am, and low and behold, I lost the contents of my stomach and it's all thanks to the wheat in the naan I had with DH's homemade curry last night.

ONE WHEAT CHEAT and I almost died from the inside out. I feel feckin horrid today. Bleurgh.... carb hangover and sick, so very queasy............ I am a lovely shade of Envy

OP posts:
babyjane1 · 08/09/2013 15:51

Hi gals, annie I think we're all more self conscious/aware when we have other people's kids so no you don't value them more, I know with my older dd I'm always scared th other girls will tell their parents I'm a lush so
I'd try to keep my wine top ups discreet. I'm ashamed to say my dd stopped having friends over, when I'm tipsy I always think I should chat to the girls "get down with the kids" squirming at the thought!!! I'm very pleased that she has the confidence to have people over, I'm still an embarrassment but a sober one. If anyone struggles with sugar cravings, I have done some research and zinc, magnesium and chromium all regulate glucose and promote well being so I have ordered these on an offer from Holland and Barrett, will report on results. Sending my genuine affection to all you babes, have a fab Sunday xxx

Mouseface · 08/09/2013 16:02

I'm ashamed to say my dd stopped having friends over, when I'm tipsy I always think I should chat to the girls "get down with the kids" squirming at the thought!!! I'm very pleased that she has the confidence to have people over, I'm still an embarrassment but a sober one.

Snap!

I was so drunk once with DD's friend here (the first time she stayed and her mother is teetotal) that I actually had to go to bed long before them.

I think most of us can say that we've shamefully been pissed and tried to act sober in front of our children because we just couldn't wait to have a drink..... we couldn't wait until they were in bed. And even then we were drinking in charge of children as such..... Sad Blush

That's not the only time either. Blush The lies I've told to cover the fact I was pissed, I've used my medication as an excuse, tiredness, Nemo keeping me up etc..... I've hidden my drinks when DD has been down for food with her friends and acted as sober as I could.....

Luckily, DH has always been here thankfully, maybe that was my excuse at the time? He's here so I can get pissed? Still, it's appalling behaviour of me and the kind I now know, i hope i never repeat!!

I can say hand on heart that I'm proud to be a very embarrassing SOBER mother. Grin

OP posts:
dementedma · 08/09/2013 17:10

hamouse
quick question before bootcamp begins.
Have been trying to prepare my meals for tomorrow - does this sound ok
Greek yoghurt with a teeny drip of honey for breakfast - too sour without!
Salad, spinach and prawns for lunch
Tea - not sure. Maybe vegetable soup and.....suggestions please?

sausagesarenotafruit · 08/09/2013 18:20

Ok so I havn't actually gone alcohol free today. My bessie mate took me out for lunch as a lovely treat as DS was with his dad. I had two pints of bitter top but there is no alcohol in my house now and I'm not going to get any. Nearest shop is a ten minute drive anyway.

My house is a mess. I am fat. I'm broke. Often my head is a mess too. I know that all of these problems will be solved if I just stop drinking. I know I can do a few days - I've done it before, but before long a little voice in my head justifies buying a bottle of wine on the way home and I'm back on it. I've considered AA and alcohol services for ages but am too scared...

Anyway you all sound so brilliant and thank you so much for the warmth and wisdom. Anyone else who is going sober tomorrow lots of love to you.

Mouseface · 08/09/2013 18:55

Ma - Breakfast = omelette with shrooms, cooked in butter. Or greek full fat yog, NOT HONEY ideally as it's loaded with sugar and sugar turns to carbs.... it depends how much you use mind but I'd be guessing that if you asked on the thread, honey would be a no), try a few drop of vanilla extract (sugar free - most of them are) in it, that's what I have :) Or scrambled egg - quick to make, black pepper in, cooked with butter, you can add bacon, shrooms etc into it... that will help keep you fuller for longer than yog too.

Lunch - fab, add a dressing or mayo on the prawns, get some full fat - Helmans is perfect carb wise but I buy Aldi's own, just as great :)

Dinner - needs to be veg and fat heavy, have a look on the spreadsheet at the allowed foods, there is a tab called resources with all kinds of recipes and resources to sites that can help with ideas. Chicken breast, wrapped in bacon, double cream and garlic with mushrooms is lovely.

I know I keep saying shrooms, is because they go off so fast that once I buy a punnet, I want them used.

Basically, the more healthy fats and water you get in you the better. I've cut out starch, sugar, and wheat.

A typical day for me would be -

B - Hard boiled egg (pre done the night before, you can do a few and keep them in the fridge, great for snacks when you're blood sugar dips), 2 slices of ham (check carb/sugar content as processed meats vary) and some cheddar, you can have loads unless dairy impedes your weight loss, a blob of mayo and 2 pints of water.

L - Prawn mayo salad/chicken breast (cooked night before, will keep in fridge for couple of days) chopped and mixed with mayo and salad (lettuce and cucumber) you can have other things, check the list but that's what I like and I add cheddar cubed on top or grated. 2 more pints of water.

D - Tuna (canned in oil or fresh - fresh is hard to get here and £££) and or pre-cooked prawns, in a wok, add soy sauce, bit a of garlic and ginger, slices of spring onions and served with more veg.. again check the list and what you like. I like it all mixed together so that the tuna/prawns mix into the 'sauce'. 1 more pint of water.

Then strawberries and double cream :)

NO ALCOHOL in the first 2 weeks at all..... you can do uber or light bootcamp or a version of your own as long as you stick to the ground rules which are that most of your carbs should come from veg, you need fat - fat does NOT make you fat, and you NEED WATER to flush all the shit out of your system whilst you are detoxing... your body is going to switch from burning carbs and sugar that you put into it, to your own fat stores so you might get carb flu.... that's described on some of the links... on BIWI thread.

I am paying big time for last night's naan and curry. I have been puking and had the most awful cramps. It's very common that your body hates the start of the change and it hates you messing with it once you've adjusted to the carb free way too! Sad I'm going to try some food again in a bit.

OP posts:
OMGWillSucceed · 08/09/2013 19:10

Hope all are ok ? Ive got horrendous ww craving atm! Will not go to shop. After all weekend alc free how could it hit me on a sunday night! Going to go haveca bath pjs and early nite and see if that helps.

OMGWillSucceed · 08/09/2013 19:12

Ps hope u feel better soon mouse.

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