The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Travelling Far And Wide, With Sobriety In Mind.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus one and all! I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes :)

We have a new line that we're taking with us on every journey, thanks to one of our wonderful Babes, Curry -

Alcohol Fosters Inertia.

So when you're drinking excessively, nothing changes, or improves, the sharp edges of our lives just becomes that little bit less in focus, blurred and all you feel is numb. Then like shit (emotionally, as well as physically) if you're honest! Who wants that?

You are only ever better/pacified/happy whilst the alcohol is in your system. And that doesn't last........... it's not a cure, it's a quick fix. A sticking plaster.

So, if you think you're drinking too much, and want some friendly advice, or just to come and have a chat, get to know others who are just like you, who won't judge or criticise you, then hop on board! :)

We're a really mixed bunch and all at different stages of our journey to find sobriety or certainly drinking in a more controlled, less dangerous way.

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far, have a look at the links below :)

LAST THREAD

THE STARTING POINT AND WHY WE'RE ALL HERE

Ah mouse, our wonderful wonderful mouse.
I have never forgotten the post you put in the abusive relationships thread some time AFO. I read it slack jawed and weeping about the abuse, the beatings, the rapes...and I thought how honoured I was to know such an awe inspiring woman. And now I know another one - this you are overseas, you have temporarily lost your baby, you have an illness and yet you come roaring back for him, for you, for all of us. You WILL get him back and in time you will post just like Mouse has done of what you went through and what you achieved and you will inspire other lost and lonely babes. I fucking love this bus and the fabulous women on it. It changes lives.
I was mning in bed this morning and Ds tucked himself into bed next to me, glanced at the screen and said " How is nemo? Is he better now?". Your lives are real lives, we are all stitched into this tapestry somewhere to make the bigger picture.
Thank you mouse.

Amazing post mouse you have stayed so strong to get through all that, despite everything you protected your DD as best you could (and she is now growing into a lovely young woman because of YOU) and then further trauma with nemo and still you keep going.

And ma you sound tired - you need a holiday! Take care of yourself

Ma it's why that's over seas hunni.

Very inspiring mouse. My story never got as dark as yours. And if you came back from worse, then I can do it too. It's horrible to be apart from my son. I'm terrified he will forget me and that he wont know me or remember he loves me. But he will learn to again, I hope.

Mouse, you are amazing and strong. This is, you are amazing and strong. I feel like those words are pretty cheap and don't really communicate how I feel but I don't know how to put it better.

I'm drinking tonight, not social drinking - stress drinking. I've organised everything so I can have a vacant 4 hours because of stuff that's going on. Tomorrow I will go to day 1 because this is the first time I've been pissed in 3 weeks and I know its for all the wrong reasons. However it IS ticking all the boxes but at the same time I will see it for what it is.

I'll keep checking in but maybe not post x x x

Ooops sorry this
I meant why

And yes, alias I do, but it ain't gonna happen anytime soon

Not been on here for a while, so just thought I'd pop in and say hello - will read what everyone's been up to over a cup of tea later.

I managed 8 weeks with only 3 bottles of beer but have just been on holiday and drank every day. I only got stupidly drunk once though (and that was because of family news) so don't have the feelings of guilt that used to plague me every weekend.

I'm now aiming to be AF for a few weeks so that I don't get back into the habit.

Hoping everyone's ok and Sunday is being kind to them x

Why - You are his mother. Mother and he will NEVER, EVER lose that bond that you have. He is YOUR SON! He WILL COME BACK TO YOU xxx

I need to put Nemo to bed but will be back, thank you all xxx

Mouse I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through. That sounds seriously traumatic.It is little wonder that alcohol provided some comfort/relief against all that abuse. But, look at you now with all your self-awareness, strength and patience. You manged to carve a whole new life, finding a nurturing love (and recognising it) for you and DD. I really admire how you coped and continue to cope with everything life throws at you and yet you always have time for others. Resillient lady.

Why My heart is aching for you right now, it must be desperate to have to see pictures of your son like that. How thoughtless and downright mean of them. You are doing the best thing you can - go to a meeting, focus on tomorrow, refuse to be beaten. You have an amazing spirit and your son is a very very lucky little man. Sending a virtual hug of encouragement. You are in my thoughts xx

Everyone who stops by on the bus has their own demons to fight, I guess what we have in common is that we keep trying, trying to become better for our children and better for ourselves. Sometimes it is really bloody difficult though, even when it doesn't look like it should be. Love to you all x

My heart goes out to you why. But you wil get there and you will get your darling boy back with you where he belongs!! I am so lucky that despite my many mistakes well my box is stil by my side,but by the grace of god go us all and I've done many things which make me think I don't deserve them! Ma you are truly inspirational. I've done one week af I haven't managed that since start of the summer so I'm goin to just try and carry it on....feeling sooo much more positive!

Lovely lady, Mouse. You are so caring and I think the world of you xxxx

Boy not box lol! ;-)

Babes I don't know what happened, last night was home alone and felt lonely and bought wine, thought I was no longer an alcoholic cos I stopped for 7 weeks, it turns out I am, it's triggered a binge and my family hate me, especially my dd who believed me when I said I was better, I'm disgusted with myself, revolted infact, disappointment in the eyes of everyone I love x

Baby mistakes are where we learn the most. Try not to hate yourself, you slipped up that is all. Once everyone sees you have not stopped trying, just stumbled it will all be ok. Take care, you are such a lovely babe xx

babyj it's okay, one day, one mistake does not mean you have lost everything. I know how hard those 7 weeks were, and now you know it too - if you can do it once, you can do it again! We've all made mistakes, you are not a disappointment.

mouse you are so strong, and a real survivor. Be proud of yourself.

I have slipped before after weeks. It happens, I just picked myself up and dusted myself down

The thing for me was each bender was getting longer and worse. That was what was so terrifying.

X

It's a slip BabyJane, that's all, a slip. Get up and shake it off before you are tempted to lie down and swallow in it.

You are not a disappointment. Are you in AA? Do you have a sponsor?

Don't be hard on yourself.

Ma - "I was mning in bed this morning and Ds tucked himself into bed next to me, glanced at the screen and said " How is nemo? Is he better now?". Your lives are real lives, we are all stitched into this tapestry somewhere to make the bigger picture.
Thank you mouse."

This thread is a massive part of my life, I talk to Nemo about lots of you, when he sees me with tears brimming in my eyes when I've read about someone on here who is so very desperate, at the very edge of their life, wanting the world to stop, wanting the pain to stop, wanting the sickness in the pit of their stomach to stop dropping...............

'Family Guy' on BBC3 is currently taking the piss out of AA, out of getting help for alcoholism.... I've seen it before and know the outcome.

Thing is, alcohol IS a nasty fucker that will turn you into someone you want to be. It takes and gives nothing back at all, ever. Ever.

All of your lovely comments posted here about my HUGE waffle are all lovely, Ma - I know that you saw the 'rape' thread and the details that were in that... I know you know the raw truth that was hitting me full on in the face at that time in my life............. Give your DS a big squidge from me please for asking after Nemo.

That's just it isn't it? He asked after Nemo a four year old boy he's never met... that has made my heart melt. xxx

Anyway - we all have our demons, pasts, things that we would take back, undo, stop, change, but here we are. Together

As one!

I need to go to bed and wait for Nemo to wake bless him, he's been sleeping badly of late, I know that it's only a few weeks into the term but he's shattered already!

You are all great! Night Brave Babes - drinking or not..... you are still Brave! In my book at least! :)

Night all xxx

mouse and why and everyone else, you're incredibly brave. It's very inspiring.

Monday morning here. My second week-end in sobriety. Was ok. Feels better today that it's not week-end.

Day 13 for me. Thanks for being here.
xxxxx

Well done Soc. I'm putting day 12 to bed, sober.

Believe me, I'm not brave. But I can't stop until I get my boy back. And then I have to keep going in order to be the best Mum I can be.

Well done, and keep it going today.

why thank you. You WILL get your boy back. I've been drunk around my children far too much and I don't want to do it again.

Well done on Day 12

Baby So sorry about your 'blip', but that's all it is, just a 'blip'. You've done amazingly for such a long time - just think how much your body has appreciated the absence of alcohol for all those weeks. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. We all know you can do it and so do you. Hugs and strength, Lovely. xxx

Thanks all that commented about my son's visit (will nc later). It went really well - but DD is now being a total cow?! In one breath she told me she wants to go and live with XP and why haven't I written the cheques for the school activities she gave me (the night before). Must mean I don't care about her!!! DS has broken his arm (again!) so is getting more attention than normal too. Sure it must be connected to DD behaviour somehow but not sure how to sort it. She is definitely my biggest trigger. :( Would like to find a nice warm hole to wallow in and a drip feed of Pinot!

Babyjane Just read your post. I know you are feeling bad, but try to turn it around? Seven weeks? So 7x7=49 days AF. So, your 'blip' was one day, so 1/49 - to my way of thinking is still fucking BRILLIANT. Your family will have seen you cope on those 49 days. One day does not wipe them all out. I think it's the nature of the witch to think we whizz straight back to day one. We don't. You haven't. If anyone says anything to you, stand up straight (tum in and boobs out) and say 'I'm trying and I will get there, but if it was so easy, it wouldn't be so important'.

I was supposed to have had last night off, but I didn't. Am missing my girl and it was sunny in the garden - nuff said, so day 1/7 for me today.

Mouse Your post stayed in my head and I dreamt that you came over to France to visit me, but that it had turned into a country village and we were running from some kind of menacing presence, but we got away was very real and scary

Why I'll be thinking of you this morning, I hope the visit with your baby boy goes well x

Has any one else been really tearfull on day 4 ? I just want to cry dh left for work (I'm still of sick till mon) and I burst out crying worrying about money life everything etc etc i don't feel like drinking but I'm worrying about stuff (natural worrier any way ) x