Ex lets himself into my house, 99% sure of it.

[SingingSilver]

My ex just came round to deliver his maintenance - the princely sum of £10 a week (and he always want to know what it will be spent on, as if I might lavishly blow it all on £10 worth of cocaine and diamonds...)

I saw him get out of his car - and walk straight round the back of the house, where he would have noticed the kitchen window open and the smell of our dinner cooking in the oven. So he walked back round and knocked.

We are normally out on a Saturday afternoon... The other relevant piece of information is that he has a key to the back door. I know this because I gave him a copy for emergencies when we were together, but he would use it to just let himself in anytime, so I took it back. From the amused look on his face when he handed it over, I suspected he'd had a copy made. Now I'm 99.999% sure he did.

I feel violated in a way, that he probably comes for a snoop around when we're not here. But there is no point saying anything, as he'd make such a fuss about being unfairly accused it's not worth it. I wish I could have caught him letting himself in.

Should I just get in the habit of leaving a key in the back door when we go out, to stop him getting in? Is there anything better I can do?

You don't want the drama of catching him, you just want him to stop.

Am I reading this right? On paper, he's unemployed? Yet he's getting cash-in-hand jobs?

If so, I think the CSA should be your SECOND phone call, the first being: 0800 854 440 or online

Has it occurred to you that if he's letting himself in to your house, your computer may be hacked, etc? Please also get a friend who's Very Good with Computers to have a look over.

Finally, may I ask where you can even get cocaine and diamonds for only £10? It's, errm, for a friend's birthday, yeah, that's it.

What is wornf with proof WhiteandGreen? Better than not knowing and wondering.

wrong not wornf!

Just buy 2 second class stamps and lick them and fix them across the door and the frame , either high up or low down.
Colour them with a felt tip if they stand out like a sore thumb.
They will tear apart if he comes in when your out.
Otherwise , change lock front and back plus make sure they are BS3621 locks as your contents insurance probably requires them.

If you can deadlock your front door and leave all the windows closed then just lean a book against the back door.It will be impossible for him to re-lean it from the outside when he leaves unless he goes out the front door - deadlocked with a Chubb , or a window - will have to be left open as cant be latched down from outside

Why does she need to faff about with stamps/sellotape on door jambs and so on? That would only confirm what she already knows, that he's been coming into her house.

And PedantMarina, the cocaine and diamnonds reference was a joke, right?

clam (mmmm, clams, gglllhhhhh >drool

cheapest and easiest just to fit a bolt to the back door surely?

Lol at insistence on second class stamps.

No, I meant the OP's original reference to it of course was. Your post seemed to indicate you had taken it seriously.
Seems not though.

You're right, I have ordered some sash jammers for the back door, I like the security aspect of them anyway (having read how easy it is for thieves to break a cylinder lock), and in the meantime I'm just leaving a key turned in the lock when I'm out.

He's not claiming benefits, he didn't like the having to look for work part of Jobseekers, so just stopped claiming.

And he won't have hacked anything, he's techno-clueless, plus I have password protection on my computer.

Clam I think the point is that she needs to confirm he's coming in before she can take decisive action to keep him out, and/or report him to the rozzers.

Clam I have no idea what cocaine and diamonds cost. I'm more of a fan of emeralds, and none I've seen lately cost about £10.

And I've [almost] never had to pay for cocaine (the main era I knew about it was about 3 decades and 4 dress sizes ago), so don't know for sure, but suspect it wasn't £10 even then, let alone now.

So, if you just misunderstood that I was propping up OP's sense of humour, well, I'm sad. You&I seem to be on several threads where our thinking is similar, so I don't generally believe you think I'm That Stupid (or, indeed, that You're That Stupid). In which case, I just have to believe and (if not necc respect) completely dig that you typed that post-gin.

OK, OK, hands up. I was being a pratt. Sorry

Clam, I'm only upset because you didn't share the gin. I think you can get kicked off Mumsnet for that and failing to give MNHQ their cut