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Original poster

Finally happened. Drunk driving PIL in drunk driving crash

118 replies

Mixxy · 02/08/2013 05:18

At the worst possible time, the script-written inevitable happened. Lover of driving after a few FIL hit a crash rail on the UWS HW and was rear-ended by the driver behind. His car is a wreck.

Both him and MIL are okay. A few cracked ribs, whip lash, shock etc.
They were driving home after sitting Shiva with a few gins. All FILs fault. DH is still in shiva : I'm not Jewish so I tend to just help with food and stuff. Get a call around 10.30pm to ask for help at the hospital. When I arrived I was told, "anybody but you, you're just so judgy.

No other family members showed up to help. That was 3 hours ago.

OP posts:
cjel · 02/08/2013 13:00

I think there is no 'duty ' here. She told you she didn't want you, go home let them wait until 'anyone but you' IS available. Your Dcs should be where your duty lies.

Anniegetyourgun · 02/08/2013 13:03

you have a duty to see that they have what they need, not necessarily what they want.

I disagree with that bit. They may be old (and pig-headed) but unless they have been diagnosed with mental incapacity, they have the right to make their own decisions. If they do not want help from their daughter-in-law they cannot and should not be forced to accept it. Adults have the right to be damn' fools if they want to, provided they don't take anyone else down with them. If they asked for help, even if they didn't really deserve it, it would be a different matter.

I do agree that the decent thing is to leave a phone number in case they're stuck, though.

ClartyCarol · 02/08/2013 13:06

Whothefuckfarted couldn't agree more. And now they'll all probably try to minimise the fall out from this. He should not be allowed to drive again.

Cloudsgotinmyway · 02/08/2013 13:07

Mixxy I hope you're getting some rest Flowers

Rosa · 02/08/2013 13:19

Mixxy I remember your 4th July thread as well. Well it was waiting to happen - if the police can't talk sense into him then all is lost. ( or maybe it already is !!)

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/08/2013 13:23

I hope they do take his license away.

clam · 02/08/2013 13:57

I too read the thread title and wondered if it was you.

Thank goodness no one was killed. Sad

By early 80s, should they even be driving anymore? Leaving aside the DUI part?

BeCool · 02/08/2013 14:14

I posted on your 4th July thread!

No wonder they don't want you at the hospital - I bet they will find it VERY difficult to look you in the eye, as well they should.

stealthsquiggle · 02/08/2013 14:17

OP I think if MIL (and the staff) have your number if they really need it, then you have more than done your "duty" and could leave them to stew until DH is able to deal with it. I hope that is what you have done.

lljkk · 02/08/2013 14:31

He breathalyzed over the limit...
I imagine the FIL will lose his license for min. 1 yr, will pay a decent fine $2k?, will have an interesting time applying for a new license next year. There won't be a criminal penalty beyond those, BUT he won't get affordable car insurance next year, either, and he may be sued by the driver who rear ended (insurance companies will knock themselves out arguing all that). There's a chance of his health insurance getting adjusted, too (not downwards, either).

I wonder if he damaged any part of the road itself. Could be chased to pay for damage to the central reservation or other parts of the road.

So all in all, fair lot of pissy outcomes. but he should be pleased it was only damage to property and nerves.

starfishmummy · 02/08/2013 15:04

Tell the staff that you have been told you are not wanted and go home.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/08/2013 17:21

Bit late to be asking details but lijkk your post made me realise I don't 100% understand the OP - FIL hit a crash rail on the UWS HW

What is UWS HW?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/08/2013 17:21

Closest I can get is that HW might mean Highway.

Lovemynailstoday · 02/08/2013 19:09

Upper West Side (NY), I think.....

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/08/2013 20:28

Thank you lovemynails!

GibberTheMonkey · 02/08/2013 20:32

Sod the pil

I hope the other driver caught up in their stupid behaviour is ok

I agree with others. Leave them too it. Pretty sure I read the 4/7 thread too

wickeddevil · 02/08/2013 22:06

Mixxy hope you are ok?

skyeskyeskye · 03/08/2013 01:23

I remember your other thread. It just shows how your instincts were right to protect your child and not ride with them
I hope you're ok

Walkacrossthesand · 03/08/2013 01:40

For Mixxy's sake I hope FIL isn't going to plead 'mitigating circumstances due to family stress', claim it was a one-off and expect the family to fall into live behind him & back up his story...

Walkacrossthesand · 03/08/2013 01:40

...line

eccentrica · 03/08/2013 05:26

clam nothing wrong with old drivers per se, my grandpa was driving until the last six months of his life. he was 98 and 1/2!

it's the drinking not the age that is the problem.

Madamecastafiore · 03/08/2013 05:39

Fuck em.

Go home and wait until someone not so judgy is free to deal with them.

Under no circumstances would I put myself out for someone who was so rude, especially considering that their bad behaviour got them where they are in the first place. I am sure the hospital can see to all of their immediate needs.

alreadytaken · 03/08/2013 08:29

they are not being forced to accept help and the OP has a duty to her husband to do what he would do if he was there. A single remark made when probably suffering from shock doesn't outweigh that. It does mean she doesn't have to do more than either get someone else there or, since no-one else was available, see they have what they need. Her husband has a right to expect that from her, however unpleasant they have been to the OP they are still his parents.

The OP stayed 3 hours, so clearly also felt she should stay. She's done her duty, she doesn't have to be there all the time.

deste · 03/08/2013 18:38

I'm sorry but the minute they said that I would have about turned and walked out.

ClartyCarol · 03/08/2013 21:32

Duty? Duty???? Sod duty. The PILs have a duty not to endanger the lives of other road users due to their criminal, wholly actions.