does it matter if i class him as abusive or not?

[cahemo]

That's it really. My dh fits some of the criteria.

But I've spent ages trying to discover if he is and just had an epiphany - I'm still unhappy whether he is or not.

Apart from physical safety-I'm aware the bastards can get nasty if they're abusive, does it matter? Isn't being desperately unhappy enough a reason to leave?

Or does an abusive man react differently to the news you're leaving them than a normal non-abusive guy?

Oh yes it is; I'd print this thread, too, but I don't want to risk him seeing anything -I'll probably double print it or something.

Thanks for the boost, ladies (and guys if any here). I'm off to make inventory list of my stuff, chuck more stuff out -the less junk to cart around the better.
Thanks all.

delete your internet history too !