Breach if contact order

[Inamess1]

I really need some advice. Hope iv posted in the right bit.

Basically ive had the police around today because my ex husband is saying i breached a contact order. I did but with a valid reason that he was going to transport the children on a 2 hour journey without carseats. When the police arrived i was shaken up and it was 10.00 so kids were in bed asleep. I refused to allow the kids to be woken up and transported 2 hours away, so i guess im going to be in serious trouble. Thepolice officer said i could lose custody of the children or face prison sentence. Is that really fair on a mother who does absolutely everything for her children with no help from father. Obviously im worried and frightened of what might happen. Advice and support needed!

Just to add ex is a very horrible, aggressive person but judge didnt notice it.

Unless theres serious concerns about you as a parent, then its very unlikely that he'd get custody.

I think you just need to explain clearly and simply to the judge what happened with the car seats etc. From what you say you were putting the DCs' best interests first and your ex was being very unreasonable demanding that they should be woken up at 10 o'clock at night.

Try to not to worry too much. Good luck for tomorrow.

Given you have been the main carer for seven years, there are no actual concerns about you as a parent, and that your ex is being wanky about a holiday, you need have no fear about your ex gaining residency.

What Dressingdown says. Stay calm. Make some notes and bring them with you on a piece of paper. With any luck, your ex will get all wound up and show his true colours. It will very quickly become obvious that he is using the court process to bully you. You are not at risk of losing your dcs - it won't happen, honest.

"On the advice of the policeman" - I take it this is his spin on it? Police officers don't hold themselves out as advisers on civil law matters.

In his statement he put, I have been advised by pc ... to apply for full residence as my ex wife has not complied.

It's not just the holiday now, it's the stress of all these proceedings

Enforcement proceedings against me
Full residency application
Prohibitive steps order
Stopping the holiday

Not to mention the stress of solicitors fees and losing the money that I paid for the holiday with etc.

He's being an absolute shit, and that will come across loud and clear to the judge. Seriously, the judge will not put weight on "he was advised by PC".

What a horrible situationi to be in. He's a nasty, nasty man.

Sounds like this idiot policeman has really stirred things up.

Oldlady sums up the legal position very succinctly.

If you are worried you will be too nervous to get your points across ts a good idea to write it down and just ask Judge to read it. Give a copy to other side. Point out that you have not been given enough time to get legal advice.

I imagine judge is going to be very unimpressed with this application.

you need "reaosnable excuse" to defy a contact order - your reasonable excuse on that occasion was no car seats children unsafe.

write that down.

on the basis of one non compliance - with reasonable excuse - and if you show you want to facilitate contact with your ex then only a stupid judge is going to suddenly award residency to him...

sole residency to him will ony be if you are neglectful of chidlren - clearly not as you the one inisting on car seats which presumably they still the height and weight they need car seats by law.

jsut try and stay calm and factual and best interests of children .

Thanks everyone, I have spent the day writing my statement, I hope the judge will see that I tried to resolve the situation by taking the kids to him. I am trying to not think about it anymore but must admit feel a little scared. I don't think the judge will realistically stop the holiday!?!? But hopefully will see that we both were a bit upset etc and i tried to make amends.

Have you changed your FB password?
Have you enquired yet as to who the hell this policeman was?

Yes I've got policeman details. Just been so overwhelmed so haven't put the complaint in yet.

I've informed FB about the hacking.

What if you had knowingly allowed him to take the children without the seats?
What if he was stopped by the police, or, god forbid, have an accident?

It might then be considered that you had failed your duty of protection of the children.

Maybe you should be asking the judge for supervised access for him, as he clearly has no regard for the children's safety or happiness.

I hope this backfires spectacularly for him.

Thanks lweji, I just can't wait till its over.

Finished at the hearing today. All good news so far!

Still able to go on holiday and ex got told there was no need for emergency hearing.

We will be producing statements for the enforcement hearing which will be later in the year.

Ex is aplying for full custody, so judge will deal with that at next hearing too.

All in all a good result, I'm taking the children on holiday and they got to spend 4 days with their dad before setting off.

Thank you so much for the support, I really believe you all helped to get me this positive outcome.

Oh a judge said police shouldn't have been called.

Your ex is being a twat for the sake of twattiness, he wont get full custody, he doesnt even have a stable environment, you do.

Well done! Glad you got a good outcome, and don't fret about him getting full custody/residence. Not going to happen! Now enjoy your holiday!

Delurking to cheer. Well done!

Glad you got a good outcome. Enjoy your holiday x