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Original poster

Breach if contact order

95 replies

Inamess1 · 12/07/2013 22:55

I really need some advice. Hope iv posted in the right bit.

Basically ive had the police around today because my ex husband is saying i breached a contact order. I did but with a valid reason that he was going to transport the children on a 2 hour journey without carseats. When the police arrived i was shaken up and it was 10.00 so kids were in bed asleep. I refused to allow the kids to be woken up and transported 2 hours away, so i guess im going to be in serious trouble. Thepolice officer said i could lose custody of the children or face prison sentence. Is that really fair on a mother who does absolutely everything for her children with no help from father. Obviously im worried and frightened of what might happen. Advice and support needed!

Just to add ex is a very horrible, aggressive person but judge didnt notice it.

OP posts:
Spero · 15/07/2013 17:29

Best of luck. I really don't think you have anything to worry about re your behaviour over car seats and hopefully things will calm down now and you can go on holiday.

Original poster
Inamess1 · 15/07/2013 19:09

After visit to the solicitor she stated that he has no grounds to stop me going on holiday.

Also that the judge will probably say Ex husband should have returned the next morning to pick up kids rather than 10pm.

She is sure I shouldn't get a conviction for this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Inamess1 · 15/07/2013 19:09

Also said make a complaint against police officer.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 15/07/2013 19:13

Good! Will you?

Original poster
Inamess1 · 15/07/2013 19:21

I think I should, because he really had me worried and that's not fair. I was trying to do the right thing and felt he threatened me. He was very unimpressed when I said I'm not letting the children go.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 15/07/2013 19:29

I completely agree. Go you. Flowers

Xales · 15/07/2013 19:34

If it makes him rethink his attitude to women (I assume are alone with their children) late at night who are protecting their children go for it!

You should never feel threatened by a police officer like that!

Good luck.

Original poster
Inamess1 · 17/07/2013 19:46

Just a quick update. I've been served with papers to stop me leaving the country to go on holiday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Inamess1 · 17/07/2013 20:09

Also as I have breached the order, he is applying for full custody / residence order in hos favour as advised by the policeman.

OP posts:
Spero · 17/07/2013 20:09

On what basis?

Do you mean he has made an application?

Or got an order without notice to you?

What reason has he given the court to make an order, if such order has been made?

This sounds mad. Can you see your solicitor urgently tomorrow?

Spero · 17/07/2013 20:10

Is he a litigant in person?

Unless there is a lot more going on here than you have been telling me, he will emphatically NOT succeed in changing residence because of one breach of an order in the circumstances that you describe.

MushroomSoup · 17/07/2013 20:12

What does your solicitor say?

Original poster
Inamess1 · 17/07/2013 20:37

I was only served at around 6 when ex gave me the papers in an envelope when I was dropping off the kids to him as a gesture to get past all that had happened over the weekend.
I had a long drive and didn't read them till 7 ish so have had no contact with solicitor yet.

He hasn't got the order but applied for it, sorry was really surprised when I read it.
I knew he would try to stop the holiday, just hope he doesn't succeed.

OP posts:
Lweji · 17/07/2013 20:42

He clearly cares more about annoying you than the children.

Good luck with the judge. You're in the right.

Spero · 17/07/2013 21:14

So what does his application say 'she has annoyed me so I am going to stop the children going on holiday' ???

The only legitimate reason to stop the holiday is if he thinks you won't bring them back.

Original poster
Inamess1 · 17/07/2013 21:26

Well he has said in the application he is concerned I won't bring them back, but I'm not sure the judge will but that. I mean I've never been to the Caribbean before and don't know anyone there etc..

OP posts:
Original poster
Inamess1 · 17/07/2013 21:28

The whole matter seems to be exploding.

Now I think he may be hacking my emails and Facebook accounts. Some information I know I've sent him and I would use as evidence in court had been deleted.?!

OP posts:
Hissy · 17/07/2013 21:33

Contact FB and report the activity. They might be able to restore, and perhaps give IP info on where the login happened that removed your posts.

Hissy · 17/07/2013 21:33

Change your password NOW

Spero · 17/07/2013 21:47

Have you made threats to abduct the children before?
Do you have any friends or family in the Caribean?
Do you have friends and family anywhere else that you might travel on to?

This seems bonkers.

Original poster
Inamess1 · 18/07/2013 07:11

I have no family or friends abroad, never threatened to abduct the children because it has never come in my mind.

I knew that he would try to prevent the holiday but having said that he contacted the court on Monday after the weekend which was very heated. I also consulted a solicitor on Monday. Do I guess we were on the same level of thinking at that point. But after receiving advice from mumsnet I contacted him on Tuesday by email and we spoke at length about the children. That's when it was agreed that I would drop the children off to him and he would return them on Saturday. At the time I dropped them off he served me but I think he has already requested the hearing so didn't want to cancel it just to protect his own interests really.

The bit I am worried about is after seeking advice from the police man he is aplying for full custody of the children. Whether he goes through with that it not remains to be seen on Friday at the hearing. But I have little time to act.

OP posts:
Original poster
Inamess1 · 18/07/2013 08:14

Also the judge has ordered.

Time abridged for service to 6 hours.

Does anyone know what that means. ?

So confused.

OP posts:
Spero · 18/07/2013 08:15

How long have you been children's primary carer? Courts won't change status quo without very good reason eg, children are not safe with you or they are at risk of serious emotional harm as you are trying to alienate them from their dad.

Hopefully your sol can reassure you, on facts you have given I can't see you have anything to worry about.

If he keeps on making these types of app for no good reason you can ask the court to forvid him from making further apps without permission under section 91(14) of the Children Act.

Spero · 18/07/2013 08:17

'Time abridged' means court has agreed you only need a short time to be made aware of the app as obviously this needs t be dealt with quickly if you want to leave soon. Usually courts want you to have quite a lot of warning, so you can instruct your sol etc. but for urgent apps everyone has to get to court quickly.

Not quite seeing the urgency here however!

Original poster
Inamess1 · 18/07/2013 08:55

So it means he had to notify me within 6 hours?? Which he didn't. I was served the following day at 5.30ish.

I have to be in court tomorrow morning and can't get my solicitor to act for me at such short notice. If I turn up to the court this morning and speak to them about this is there any chance I could be put before a judge to explain and apologise for my part.

I have always been main carer, I left my ex when dd was 6 months old and now she is 7 1/2.

OP posts: