Another Thread (LoserNoMore...again)

[LoserNoMore]

Hi, so on another thread but not really much further forward, in fact I feel worse. Anyway I've been to the doctors and have Anti D's and referred to a counsellor. Hopefully these will work.

Thanks to everyone for their support on previous threads and PMs too, it is all very much appreciated.

Hi LNM, sorry to hear you're having a bad day. If it makes you feel any better I got soaked today, wearing a very thin red top. I'd just been to my bi-annual hairdresser appointment too so looked like a bloody poodle by the time I got home. I walked past a neighbour who stood at his door laughing at me!

Exes are meant to drive you nuts btw, once they've been kicked to the kerb it's all they can do. I haven't seen mine for 5 glorious years but the very mention of his name (even in relation to other people!) pisses me off I comfort myself knowing the very fact I'm alive and happy annoys him even more!

oh and another btw - apologies for all the bad language - stress makes me swear like even more of a trouper.

He's just being an awkward bastard. The nice approach wasn't working so he's trying this one.

I didn't get the bloody job either. Nothing is going my way, don't know why I'm at all surprised.

I could scream my head off, literally.

I won't be stupid with the wine...I'll try and be sensible.

I was always suspicious when my ex was being nice - usually rightly so. He wants the upper hand but won't ever get it. Sorry to hear about the job, I understand your frustration. There are a lot of people on your side here, you know. You still have your girls and JD as a distraction. You also have your self-respect and pride. That all counts for a lot you know.

right you lot! Absolutely no navel gazing allowed.

SAF - your consultant was shit, but sadly, not unusual. lets get you sorted out, one way or the other. If you can get private insurance, then go ahead, but make sure you get a decent policy. Although Im not sure whether you would have to disclose the appt - probably yes, otherwise they may not pay out in future.

CBT can be a brilliant way of therapy, but the therapist has to be good. Its not just about talking but about changing your reaction to triggers, learning how to switch off, disengage while keeping yourself 'safe'

Its not an easy skill, but once mastered and practised it is better.
I also 'get' the tough outer and mush inside. You my lovely need a great big HUG.

LNM - no wine, or just one glass. Dont drink it because ex has pissed you off. Drink it because its a lovely evening and a nice chilled glass will be perfect while you have a long, bubble bath.

Dont worry about the job, just keep trying. Did you get any feedback? Or just a case of too many people going for same job? Its tough out there at the moment.

Chin up everyone!

well said lazarus

I am going on holiday vv early Friday, and I have tons to do. DS going off to friends straight after school tomorrow (last day yippee) and staying over... not coming back until Thurs sometime, so I will probably have to sort his packing out.

DD got an appt at 4, then I promised Id take her to cinema to see Monster Uni. then dinner just the two of us. Online shop to do for holiday place, packing for me, dog and a million other things.

LIST! I need a list.

Ah thanks Lazaruz :)

Hope you manage to get packed tomorrow Jax. I absolutely despise packing. I was thinking of visiting my friend up north near Loch Lomond but I really can't be bothered with the packing and travelling.

I've not had wine, I thought better of it. JD is coming over after footie training.

LNM I am sorry you are feeling rough. I lost you there for a while but hope you are feeling bit better now . Also another one advising not too much wine after a bad day!!x

Cjel, thank you. it's so nice to hear from you. I was thinking of you the other day. I hope things are going well.

Thats lovely to hear,(in fact made me a bit tearful!!) I'm ok thanks although have had touch of heat exhaustion which made me a bit sad at not having lovely other half to take care of me( not that i ever really did!!)

Oh :( It is hard not being looked after sometimes isn't it. Hope you've recovered from the heat, a bit cooler here tonight, thank God! Take it easy

LNM, well done thinking better on the wine. I know how tempting it is, seems like a perfect escape...

Thanks, I just saw on the tv really bad thunder and lightening last night here and I slept right through it with the windows open!! Must have been iller than \i thought!!

to you to.xx

ahh cjel - totally understand that. think stuff i've been through lately has had similar effect on me. it's when you need taking care of or just really need a cuddle. can suddenly feel very alone and vulnerable. the storm hit us in the morning yesterday.

think we're all allowed a bit of sadness sometimes. can't be strong, got it all in hand etc all the time.

morning, leaving for all. mega busy day here today.

but mostly waiting around! Going to get organised as soon as DC are at school for half a day. We've already had the 'whats the point of today' conversation with DS and 'can I just stay off'

DD is excited its last day and doing fun stuff. I suppose thats the difference between primary and secondary schools. And the fact that DS is nearly 14... full of hormones and attitude - then flips and is sweet as pie again! I dont like this stage at all.

tbf though jax - what is the point? (worries i am still a hormonal 14yo with attitude)

SAF BECAUSE its the law/because I said so & also if you don't get out of bed right NOW you are not going over to your friends later for sleepover & see your gf. Combination of those worked.

I'm not entirely sure what the point is though. I just knew I'd be on a slippery slope if I let it happen!

You got to love teenagers eh. There's not much point to anything really.

I'm tired and grumpy this morning. Hardly slept a wink, I had dd3 on my shoulders yesterday and my back aches. Not the same as the other week but I think I pulled a muscle or something on the right side. I've ran out of coffee and can't be arsed going out. I've to pick the girls up at 3.00 and the thought of seeing ex is getting to me. I need to find my happy place...

There is no happy place without coffee! Get yourself some then all will be fine.

That's true. I've seen a job advertised too, just to hand a CV in so I'll pop to Starbucks on the way.

see? every cloud! now find your oomf and get that CV in there!

Ive got so much to do and I am procrastinating a LOT today. Ive done some jobs, but others I cant be arsed... and I cant find DD school report, I need to take that with me today. I had it, put it in a drawer and its not there. god sake!

i am not only procrastinating i'm doing so in style by fucking around with nail varnish. must have painted and removed ten different coats by now.

it is a gorgeous day and should be outside really. or sorting this tip of a house out.

lnm - get ye coffee! the world is a dark place without caffeine. have you done a cover letter tailored to the job?

Yeah I did, SAF. Probably wont get it anyway, so fed up applying for jobs now. I really wanted the one I went for last week.

Had coffee so feeling a bit better. Just have to encounter ex in an hour and then I can relax.

loser it'll come. i'm trying to remember that even when life is sucking the biggest donkey dong ever there's something else around the corner.

call JD - get some action - laugh, come, dance, whatever! do you know the song 'shake it off' by florence and the machine? think we need to both listen to it damned loud.

"and it's hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake it off"

sorry it's, "shake it out". play it LOUD