Closure. Does it help? Is it worth trying to get it?

[WhatWouldBeyonceDo]

I've been thinking about contacting an ex to meet for a coffee/drink on neutral ground to get some answers.

We had an intense relationship, for approx 8 months, I fell pregnant but lost the baby, then had some health issues. He left out of the blue, seemed to emotionally crumble beforehand and acted very oddly and said some strange things.

It was all very strange, I was heartbroken and grieving so said some nasty things (nothing to ott, just some home truths) to him. He has not tried to contact me since, even though he knew I needed further operations due to my health issue.

I'm struggling to get my head around it all.

Would it help do you think? Is it needy? It's been about 10 months since we split. Health wise I'm fine, my life is going well and I'm in a good place. But it's this one thing that's bugging me.

What are your thoughts? Should I or shouldn't I?

Closure would be great.
But you're likely to get a refusal, blame, drama, an invitation to start up again and more confusion.
Have you spoken to friends? What do they think?

Sorry I'm not suggesting you'll get all those responses, but you're likely to get some and how would that make you feel?

I don't think, just 10 months later, that you're going to get the truth either. Even if you get the truth, it might not be what you want to hear. Either way I think this sleepy dog should probably be left right where he is.

I agree with help yourself. If you do this, and he does meet you, you have to be prepared for it going badly.

If he was capable of giving you closure, he would have done it when he chose to end things. He did not, and is unlikely to do so now.

I think any attempt to contact him for closure will only frustrate you further. Viking is right: He sounds an unlikely source of validation. You must find your own closure.

Your right, it's been whirring round my head for the last few days. Now I've written it down, came back and read it again and read the responses I understand why I shouldn't do it! It would go badly and he would never give me what I need from him.

Hmmm closures funny, it's the why that's bugging me, if anyone knows why people act like dicks, lemme know

*You're right

(you could try giving Baggage Reclaim a whirl: there are a lot of quite validating posts in it)

Thanks hot will do

If anyone knew why people act like dicks, they'd be a millionaire. :) If you're looking for a personal development benchmark, I think it's the point at which you don't give a rat's ass why they acted like a dick when you know you're making progress.