Affair, how to help.

[skippy84]

Hi I'm looking for some opinions on this as its an extremely messy situation. My sister has been married for three years. She has a son just over two years. Everything has gone a little crazy as she has just admitted to her spouse that she has had an affair for the last two years. My godson is definitely his as her and OM were not sleeping together at this stage. Since she has come clean I'm so worried about her. She is suicidal as husband is pressing for decisions and the other guy (who from talking to her I think she genuinely loves) is not in contact at all. I don't know how to be supportive in this situation or what advice to give. My number one priority is my sister and her well being. Though i love brother in law and my goddaughter so so much, I don't want my sister to take her life. Can anyone help.

If she's suicidal then she needs practical help, counselling, possibly medication from her GP and I would start there. That said, I'm not surprised her DH is pressing for a decision... he must be very shocked and upset by what he's discovered. I'm also not surprised that the OM has done a runner and let her down. Could you offer her a place to stay with her DS so that she can get a break from the pressure at home?

You know your sister best. Is she someone who craves or courts drama?

I ask because those that have affairs can sometimes do it as part of being manipulative.

Or is her H? How badly is he pressuring her for answers?

In any event, you/Her H could approach the Dr/HV to get her some help.

Ultimately you have no real idea what goes on in her relationships, this could just be guilt, or her could be hounding her day and night. Or she could be fishing for attention/sympathy. Or she could be genuinely remorseful and depressed.

Can you get her away to yours for a day or so to see what's really going on with her?