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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread 58 everyone welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 02/07/2013 07:46

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
48howdidthathappen · 04/07/2013 16:52

I never twigged the first couple of times I dropped Mr R&R back to his home town, that he asked to be dropped at the shop because he was bloody starving.

He had gone nearly 24hrs without food. A man on his knees Grin

JulietteMontague · 04/07/2013 17:24

OWW I wouldn't be initiating that conversation. From what you've said about him, no good can come of it. At best you prematurely seal some kind of deal when he should be wanting yo close it and at worst he thinks wow people do multiple dating? Sweet shop! You are dating, I don't see him seeing others unless he's Don Juan with a huge amount of time to text a string of women daily so it's not a problem that needs solving.

JulietteMontague · 04/07/2013 17:54

Yo. Yo? I seen to have gone all 'ghetto'. ' to' obvs.

and a bit little old lady in a black scarf 'no good can come of it' Shock

OhWesternWind · 04/07/2013 17:58

Thanks everyone! My instinct is to say nowt, so that's what I will do. But I think what I would like if i could wave my magic wand is just some way of knowing if we're on the same page with what we're looking for - no commitment, it's far too soon, no deals sealed, but just a way of knowing that I'm not totally wasting my time and getting a bit emotionally involved in a situation that's going nowhere from the start.

I think all is fine here, but I don't entirely trust my own judgement - it's so easy to present a fake persona in the early stages of getting to know someone.

JulietteMontague · 04/07/2013 18:18

OWW go with your gut. He's hardly given the impression he is up for a quick shag and even if he was a wrong'un in some other way he's not going to tell you because you ask is he. All will be well Grin
]

KinNora · 04/07/2013 18:26

OWW you can only go with your instinct, for what it's worth ( wearing my special 'Queen of Relationships' hat obv ) I think your approach is the right one.

OhWesternWind · 04/07/2013 18:30

Actually Juliette he would be the worst quick shag merchant in history.

I think I've cocked up a bit because he's mentioned twice yesterday about taking me to a restaurant - I've just ignored this altogether as this place is/was a favourite haunt of LM and I'd rather not go. So I don't know where we are really about meeting up again. Oh dear.

ALittleStranger · 04/07/2013 18:51

OWW if it really bothers you can you not say you got food poisoning there last time and don't want to go back?

OhWesternWind · 04/07/2013 19:02

Stranger I recommended him to take some business clients there the other night as he was asking if I knew anywhere good near their hotel. So he's been and really likes it. It's actually on the road that LM lives on so a bit difficult potentially, but never mind. Think I'll just wait for this one to sort itself out as well. Not a big problem really.

Newstart13 · 04/07/2013 19:46

It's tricky with local patches... There are certain places I could never go...

Think my date from Sunday is a vanisher!

Haha spent about 5 hours together, what's the point of that?

I'm not really that bothered which speaks volumes... He was a good 'catch' but baggage (haven't we all) and I wasn't convinced by the snog...

Am chatting on pof ATM to a couple of people.. We'll see, it sure is a crazy site!

BloomingRose · 04/07/2013 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinNora · 04/07/2013 22:56

That is just brilliant news Rose so happy for you x

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 04/07/2013 22:56

Rose that is wonderful news! and the best birthday present too.

I'm so pleased for you. Grin Grin

JulietteMontague · 04/07/2013 23:12

Aw Rose how fantastic is that! I'm so pleased for you, you've waited so long for this and now you've got your new start. Brilliant news lovely x

OhWesternWind · 04/07/2013 23:18

So very happy for you Rose. This is the start of so much that will be good on many levels. An excellent course at a top university, lovely house and garden, a whole fresh start for the two of you, new friends and opportunities waiting. There's nothing that you can't do now, sweetheart, you've got through all the crap so just go for it.

Winefiend · 04/07/2013 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Kirstywirsty · 04/07/2013 23:38

congratulations rose I am so pleased for you :)

OP posts:
BloomingRose · 04/07/2013 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flipper924 · 05/07/2013 00:13

Rose, that's brilliant news. Will you be able to stay there for the duration of your course? It'll be lovely to feel settled.

OWW, I think I'd be honest, and explain that you recommended it because you knew it was good, but that it was somewhere you went with an ex and might therefore not be that relaxed. But then I do tend to share too much.

I went to see Walking Man tonight. Most of you won't remember, but he's the guy I had a short relationship with, and fell pregnant accidentally with - it was really nice to catch up. I was right to break up with him, but he's still a nice guy, and I think we'll stay friends.

Thank you all for listening to me yesterday, as well. I'm in a much better humour today, and have rationalised my angst away, with your help.

Snapespeare · 05/07/2013 06:17

back from corfu, so catching up on thead. great to hear such good news from folk! Grin

i'm off to hosp this morning to get arm checked out. s'funny not having nameless around. Sad managed to not yell 'marry me!' during a particularly impressive shag, so week seems to have gone reasonably well! Grin

expecting post holiday wobble in next couple of days, so bear with me....

KinNora · 05/07/2013 06:57

Morning everyone,

Snape fingers crossed it's not fractured and that A&E isn't a nightmare - should be ok reasonably early on a Friday morning.

Have a good day chaps.

TigsytheTiger · 05/07/2013 07:14

Good luck snape, glad you had an amazing holiday, good and well nip those wobbles in the bud!

Fabulous news Rose keep smiling you are nearly there.

glad you are feeling better Flipper

Morning to one and all, news here is house had exchanged and I move on Monday, Mr EA moves into new house tomorrow! I'm excited about the move and a new start but feel a bit meh sitting in the house that me and cheating bastard STBXH bought as our dream home surrounded by boxes. Think I'm grieving for the future I thought I would have and the past that was never what I thought it was .

Still as the thread motto goes, chin up, tits out and eyes forward Grin

TigsytheTiger · 05/07/2013 07:15

Apologies for phone typos and predictive texts, got a bloody mind of its own this thing!

Bant · 05/07/2013 07:50

Morning all,

Rose - great news with the house, and the same to you Tigsy
Snape - good luck with the arm

Flipper924 · 05/07/2013 07:55

Snape, hope it's ok.

Tigsy, congratulations on your new home! Moving is always a bit emotional, I think. All that change, out with the old and all that.

Bant, how are you getting on without a phone?

Happy Friday!

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