Dh and porn again!!

[adozenroses]

Been waiting for an email confirming a hotel I've booked and the email is going to dh's account. Just checked it and found an email from an obscene website he is apparently a member of!! This is the man who swears he does not like porn and has no interest in it whatsoever...even when I've suggested it

I can ignore him looking at porn, but this is a website to meet people. I never thought he would be a person who would have an affair, but we haven't had sex in a while as he never really tries anything anymore...so now I am thinking maybe he is looking for someone else!!

I even had a look on his computer to see what he has been lookig at recently, but he has deleted every website, and all the history. I now feel he is hiding something.

I can't even shout at him because he'll know I've been snooping.

Its not snooping to checky your partners email account, esspecially if you were expecting an email (I really dont see why people thing its wrong to check their partners email/post etc, but thats just me!)

Just ask him about it. Will save you worrying and making things worse in your own mind :)

He'll just completely deny it and I'll get the 'you don't trust me' speech!!

It's not the porn that bothers me. I don't understand the fascination myself, but men seem to like it. I just don't like the idea he is looking on sites to meet people.

I get e-mails from ebay, banks, porn sites, dating sites all things I am not a memeber of. I have also recently deleted my history etc as I like to tidy it up every so often and delete all the crap sites I visit, get rid of cookies etc.

If DP had gone on there before I had deleted them the last time he would have found history pointing towards STD sites and places to go for treatment. I was having a look for someone else perfectly innocent.

Looking at porn and having an affair are two entirely different things. I don't know what to suggest about how you approach this you have a justifiable reason for being on his pc so don't go all defensive and agressive about that. Perhap talk to him and tell him you are missing/worried about the lack of sex, cuddles whatever and ask him if everything is OK.

Godd luck anyway.

You can get a copy of every e-mail he receives. if it is internet based like our account (Virgin)

If you log on to the webmail, it gives you the option to send mail to another address. Open a hotmail account and get it sent there.

like kathlean said it's possible to get e-mails from these sites without having signed up, i get them from some dating site. they have my details and everything but i definitely never signed up for it.

asking will only make him defensive and he probably will feel your checking up on him. if you have nothing else to suspect him by i'd leave it and try working on your relationship instead, your obviously feeling quite vunerable and neglected at the minute and it's possible he doesn't even realise hes making you feel like this. tell him

You're right. If I bring this up, he will just get defensive and we'll argue - probably all weekend.

I'll try and chat to him this weekend about how I'm feeling - without bringing up porn.

Thanks for the advice

ADOZENROSES, the only thing to do is buy a porn mag for yourself(with men in it) and tell him you fancied a bit of spice..:0
Yip he will certainly flip, and give out about it, and you can fall back on what you found he cant deny it then.
He'll then say you were snooping but if you put the mag in a way you didnt want him to find...
It works a caught my hubby that way.
and he said its just the fantasy of it. porn is an image and the website you said your guy was a member of is a fantasy of a real person. I doubt he would go ahead and meet witha woman.