Okay, sorry in advance for the long post. I think you are falling into early PND, but I’m not a professional so you need to get it checked out. Just a few things you’ve said up above that ring bells.
My DP is fabulous, but like anyone, he gets petrified when I talk about depression as it means he will effectively become my carer – when I’m depressed I expect him to support me, to understand, to walk on eggshells, I think that’s the least he can do – sorry but bollocks! I don’t thinks it’s an easy thing to say, especially as when your in it you can’t see, but depressed people are very difficult to be around. They suck every ounce of good will out of EVERY situation and only focus on the negative – not forgetting the endless self absorption. When you look at it like that, you begin to see why the people closet to you – the ones who get the full brunt of this – get a bit jumpy at the thought of it returning. One of the main things I would do is expect my DP to support me, well this is just not on really because the demands of a depressive are never ending and one positive turn just leads to wanting more – it’s an endless cycle, like a black hole and it’s unfair to expect anyone to do this. YOU need to take responsibility for your mental health. Get tp the GP’s talk, get counselling or anti-depressants – I’m on these at the mom for PND and they have been miraculous. If your fudging because of the stigma, get over it. PND or any depression, like Badger said is VERY insidious and it DESTROY’S families.
About him shouting only likely to male you depressed, I’d get this out of your head as soon as poss – you can’t blame him for what is happening, you have just had a baby and are all over the place emotionally. Don’t feel bad about that but also please don’t blame him either. Have you thought the stress that he may be feeling at you becoming depressed might be making him a bit fragile too? He loves you but he isn’t a doctor.
We’ll be here to support you in your hubby’s stead – we’ve been there, we know aht it’s like, he hasn’t. Him not being able to help you with this does NOT mean he doesn’t love you or doesn’t care. He’s only human, that’s all. I’m of the tough love school when it comes to getting though depression, that’s though LOVE BTW, not just ‘tough it out’ but believe me I know from experience that indulging it and going the endless softly softly approach does nothing in the long run. I’ve been where you are and come out the other end – we can help but it’s up to you about how pro-active you are in this.