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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/06/2013 23:19

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

OP posts:
greeneyed · 04/07/2013 08:27

Morning mummy 2 AF days is a start. You've proven you can do that so something to build on. Good yo have plans for today

Buddy123 · 04/07/2013 09:19

Good morning ladies, day 2 here. Feeling very good about kicking the habit today, I know I can do it for the sake of the DCs.

Didn't sleep well last night as I'm still terrified that ss will become involved following my alcohol services assessment. Trying to remain positive, but I am very scared.

Edinbugger · 04/07/2013 10:47

Snap Green - drank last night at a family party (had planned to) and feel extremely non-boingy this morning. You're so right- it's just not worth it.

Ladame · 04/07/2013 10:54

Green and Edin Mark me down for a non-boingy day too. Suffering with hormental hot flushes at night so thought a couple of drinks might help me sleep Sad - duh - epic fail. Again.

Mouseface · 04/07/2013 11:31

Morning, tis me, Mouse

HERE IS GREENY'S POST/OUIZ AGAIN for those who missed it, it really is sobering reading. The advice that they give is really useful too, I found myself nodding along with all that they said.

It's not a 'STOP DRINKING YOU'LL DIE!!!' type read, more of a 'listen, you should try to have a day off the booze every week' kinda message. Sensible, realistic goals that we can ALL achieve. :)

Off out now, sorry not to read back. Be back later on, hope you're all okay and well?

Big hugs from me xxx

OP posts:
Mouseface · 04/07/2013 12:00

Dame - My bedding is soaked each morning, at the moment and I have the most horrific period pains but no period... all par for the course apparently.

Deep joy. I hate my hormentals, I put the milk in the dishwasher this morning Hmm, and a variety of half finished jobs are strewn around the lounge! Grrrrrrr. I need to go into town but I'm rather worried about driving incase I'm not concentrating.

On the plus side - DH is getting better because his sarcasimometer is working again. Arse. He has picked the wrong Mouse to mess with currently......... Grin

OP posts:
maristella · 04/07/2013 18:05

I'm raging and I want wine! Honestly I'm not sure what I've done to deserve this bullshit existence but I've had enough!
I work so hard, I'm exhausted all the time. I'm also doing my degree. My house is a shithole, my gardens a joke, even my car is verging on squalid.
DS is angry, because he has a lot to do and doesn't follow basic instructions. This stuff has to be done. So he's raging at me. He's bigger than me and squaring up to me. DP doesn't live here so can't ask too much of him.
I'm drowning! I'd like to get on a plane and spend a week in the sun, on a hammock mostly, with cocktails and cigarettes.
Sorry - I'm ranting here because I've nowhere else to go with it!! And I won't drink x

Fairenuff · 04/07/2013 18:11

Rant away maristella. So, what parts of HALT are hitting you at the moment? Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired - probably all of them?

Tackle them one at a time. Have a snack. Cheese on toast, omelette, pasta in a sauce - something quick and easy. Have something sweet as well. Yoghurt or jam or chocolate if you have any. A sweet cup of tea or pint of blackcurrant juice.

Can you take yourself off for a bath or go out for a run or do something to take your mind off everything for half an hour. Is there a friend you could phone for a bit of a chat.

If your ds is getting angry too, leave him to calm down for now, you can come back to deal with him later, when you are feeling calmer yourself.

You don't need to drink. You know that. Keep posting if it helps. I'm off to eat too but will check back later.

maristella · 04/07/2013 18:40

Thanks Faire Thanks

Pasta is cooking, and I'm going to have obscene amounts of cheese with it!

I've given DS his instructions and left him to it. He's known all week his new furniture is coming tomorrow, with the old being taken away! Oh well, he can just get on with it!

What is everyone else having for dinner?

maristella · 04/07/2013 18:45

Oh, and the guy that kissed me on the weekend has apologised profusely for his behaviour! Good.

Fairenuff · 04/07/2013 18:48

Yeah, leave him to get on with it. How old is he?

I've had beef casserole with rice and veg but it's seems odd eating a 'winter' meal when it's so hot outside at the moment. Still, dh cooked it and all I had to do was eat, so no complaints from me Smile

maristella · 04/07/2013 19:14

He's 15, so generally angry by default Confused

mummytolucas411 · 04/07/2013 19:26

I really love this thread! It's nice to be able to talk openly about this to people who are (or have been) in the same boat.

Fairenuff · 04/07/2013 19:28

My ds is 14. Much bigger than me. But if he shouts at me I tell him calmly, I will listen when you stop shouting. Or I say Don't shout at me, I don't like it. And, most importantly, I walk away until he is calm.

If your ds is anything like mine he will be fine once he gets busy on the job. Ask him if he'd like a cuppa now, or do something unexpectedly nice for him. That always throws my ds and he can't stay mad at me Grin

Fairenuff · 04/07/2013 19:31

Hey mummy good to see you back. The bus is quiet at the moment but there's usually someone around to chat with. Like you say, it's refreshing to be able to be so open and not worry about being judged.

Silver66 · 04/07/2013 19:36

Hey

Beautiful wonderful babes

just popping in to say hello Smile

Buddy123 · 04/07/2013 20:21

Evening babes!

I've made it through day 2 without drinking - so pleased with myself. The terror of ss has certainly put drinking into perspective! I have felt more emotional than usual this eve, it's probably the combination of not drinking and the fact I've finally asked for help. I've even changed my plans for the weekend to take away temptation - changed a night at the pub for a cinema trip instead, a big step for me!

Hang in there everyone! x

dementedma · 04/07/2013 20:22

SILVER leaps on silver like over excite d puppy. Where have you been? How are you?

Silver66 · 04/07/2013 20:41

Hey Ma

Missed you so much.....long story.... I've taken the first step...in posting...been thinking long and hard about it....

Forgive me if it takes me a bit of time to explain ...

I am pretty much sober these days.

But not so much tonight...

My promise to you is that I will come back and tell you all about it x

And none of you fuckers has given Gerald a polish

FGS. bunch of Barry lovers xxxxxx

dementedma · 04/07/2013 20:59

So happy you are back!

Fairenuff · 04/07/2013 21:56

Silver so great to hear from you again. Sorry you caught the bus in a mess

< passes out polish and cleaning cloths >

Let's get this place ship shape and ready to roll Grin

Buddy cinema instead of pub - fab idea. Make sure you fill up on cola and popcorn. What are you going to see?

babyjane1 · 04/07/2013 21:58

Hi babes buddy I feel terrible that I have frightened you, I thought long and hard about whether to post my experience but In the end I just wanted to put it out there to help anyone who like me enjoyed a bottle of wine while the kids were either out (big dd) or wee one asleep. I suspect no one here knew it was an offence and I just wanted no one else to encounter what I did, when you here from them again just explain that you have cut down through your own determination and your box is ticked, if they hauled in every mum on the vino every night, the social svs office would be queued for bloody miles. If you want to pm me is be glad to help you through your feelings but I know you'll be fine, the positive is I've kicked the wine wine into touch for even hovering near my babies, sounds like you have to. To those if you struggling, the craving really does pass, it's taken a lot of dog walks, soup making and kindle action to allow me to say that but that's no bad thing, life still throws me curve balls every day but there not so dramatic without my foggy head and constant niggling guilt. It's a bit like giving up a secret lover (not that I've ever had one) a bit if excitement has gone, I'm not watching the clock all the time and life us maybe a little more boring in the evening but hey, life is calm, content and I can sleep at night, right now that's good enough for me x x x

lonnika · 04/07/2013 22:02

Wise words Baby - I couldn't agree more :). - I love waking up sober every day :) - The craving def goes - sometimes I stil want wine but it passes and I feel so much better for not drinking - life is better. my only regret - why did I wait so long before giving up !!!!!!!!

babyjane1 · 04/07/2013 22:27

lon I hear you girlfriend. Big ps, I'm not meaning to sound self righteous to any lovely babes struggling, I still miss it too, just offering a bit of hope that things can get better xxxx
mouse your a "gid yin" that's means a good soul, thanks to every one supporting me lately, this bus was sent from somewhere very special, my sisters in arms x x x

Fairenuff · 04/07/2013 22:31

I love that fact that the whites of my eyes are now actually white, not crisscrossed 'old red eyes'.

Oh yes, and my swishy hair Grin