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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moving in with the love of my life but EH has started seeing his EW

99 replies

HallInger · 19/06/2013 22:38

I know some of you may think I am totally in the wrong but 4 years ago I made friends with a lady as our sons were both in the same class at school. She introduced me to her DH who like me was a mad golfer. We started to play a lot of golf together. Fast forwards 4 years and yes, her DH is my new man and we have just moved in together.

Our lads get on quite well and have not taken it too badly - they are both in their teens. I can live with being a bad person if that's what you all think of me, but both my new partner and I have lived with long marriages which didn't make us happy and there was other s* too long to go into here, which both of us are relieved and happy to live behind.

There has been some gossip at the club and elsewhere, but my partner and I believe in each other and our love and we hope that one day people will look at us and know that we did the right thing to move on.

The bit I can't get my head around is that of all the single people in the world to see our Ex's have picked each other to date. It feels so weird. Am I wrong to think that - I don't want my Ex to be unhappy as he is my son's Dad but she is everything he didn't like in a woman, over weight, reckless with money, she has debts and a bad credit rating, a dirty house full of cats, she hates holidays and going abroad. One of the reasons my new partner left was that she rarely had sex with him and presumably my Ex will want to have sex? And of course everything will always be my new partner's fault for ever for the rest of her life, unless my Ex leaves her, in which case I assume it will all become his fault!

Also I think it is confusing for the kids and a bit weird for any mutual friends. We are trying to rise above it and simply demonstrate by our love and commitment and our refusal to slag them off and to always wish them the best that we don't actually care but I do wonder if there are mind games going on here.

OP posts:
AgnesBligg · 19/06/2013 23:45

So, the fat birdie got with your ex? Sounds pretty fairway to me.

TeamEdward · 19/06/2013 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrincessFiorimonde · 19/06/2013 23:48

I'm afraid the way your new love describes his ex - as if she'd been an albatross round his neck - would be a red flag to me.

OhTiger · 19/06/2013 23:48

She does sound a bit rough

PrincessFiorimonde · 19/06/2013 23:48

Xpost AGAIN!

TeamEdward · 19/06/2013 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninah · 19/06/2013 23:50

are you saying it was no Faldo your own

LapsedPacifist · 19/06/2013 23:50

Gosh, hey, maybe you could all meet up in some sort of serious situation , espeshully perhaps if some mutual friend or rellie gets like, REALLY sick or something, like with cancer or getting fat, and you all have to go to hospital to visit them and its really serious?

And you all meet in the Emergency Ward, and like, cry a lot and be really honest with each other? And it all works out?

Just a thought.

OhTiger · 19/06/2013 23:51

I think it's best if you leave them too it and don't get teed off OP.

ninah · 19/06/2013 23:51

poor woman was just feeling a bit below par and hoping it wood be ironed out

OhTiger · 19/06/2013 23:51

Eventually you'll putt it all behind you.

springytat · 19/06/2013 23:51

aw princess, always the bridesmaid Grin

DioneTheDiabolist · 19/06/2013 23:51

Well I for one think it's lovely. 4 unhappy patents are now 4 happy parents.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Awwwwww.Grin

ninah · 19/06/2013 23:53

tiger woudst thou have looked downthread that one has been done

PrincessFiorimonde · 19/06/2013 23:54

Can you pin down what you don't like about the situation?

ninah · 19/06/2013 23:55

Pringles, anyone?

PrincessFiorimonde · 19/06/2013 23:55

Ninah wins at 23:53 Grin

night all.

OhTiger · 19/06/2013 23:56

Damn it ninah. It's late. I got caddied away.

AgnesBligg · 19/06/2013 23:56

I bet she's a real tiger in bed though.

Alright I'll stop now (golfing knowledge exhausted a few posts back frankly).

ninah · 19/06/2013 23:56

any old mnetters remember '4'?
nn all

ninah · 19/06/2013 23:57

rofl

AgnesBligg · 19/06/2013 23:59

well played ninah. What is 4?

mynewpassion · 20/06/2013 00:03

ninah well played with the tiger woods mentioned

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 20/06/2013 00:03

I know people who this actually happened to. The cheated on halves got together. It was weird. Then they split up. That's the end of that story.

AnyFucker · 20/06/2013 00:07

I do too. They all remained amicable and relatively friendly though and after a little while started socialising together again. They certainly didn't slag off each other's partners because that would have been a bit silly, wouldn't it ?

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