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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So. My first "nasty" OD message.

34 replies

StuffezLaYoni · 13/06/2013 19:42

Ive had all the pervs and marrieds - they seem to go away if ignored. But this delightful specimen has taken the trouble to message me saying he's seen me round town (likely as small town) and I should change my photos to include my body, as they're misleading. (He didn't say body, he said gut.)
I know it's an inadequate wanker,pissed off I didn't reply to his "heyyyyy" the other week, but was that needed? Feeling a bit shit about myself but wish I didn't.

OP posts:

MaBumble · 13/06/2013 19:49

Oh what a horrible specimen! Block and report him (if you can)

I know it's easy to say, but pay him no attention, and do not respond. I suspect he's a sad abusive low life who gets off on upsetting women.

LeaveTheBastid · 13/06/2013 19:50

Ignore. I wouldn't be able to ignore mind, I'd probably reply with "and your vile attitude and disrespect towards women also isn't included on your profile, very misleading of you too. Now fuck off you bitter, pathetic twat, or I'll belly bounce yer if you ever have the guts to speak to me when you see me instead of watching from afar, fecking weirdo."

But I'm proper mature like that and it'd probably just make things worse.

Do not let him knock your confidence, sad little man.

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 13/06/2013 19:52

I tried to reply but couldn't even muster the sarcasm needed to do it well. I am ok really, I know he's a dick, but why take the time to do something so knobbish? Just knocked me because I'm eating badly at the mo and feeling a bit shit about myself. Meh.

OP posts:

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 13/06/2013 19:52

Oh and thanks both.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 13/06/2013 19:53

"My mate fucked you a few years ago and she said you had a chipolata cock and only lasted 3 thrusts".

Just that, nothing else.

The cunt will tear himself in knots trying to work out who told you that.

oopsadaisymaisy · 13/06/2013 19:53

Stuffez, do not even think about it. What a cock, he took time to message you because you rejected to him. There are some very sad specimens out there. I've had my share of them! And I know I is bee-oo-t-eeful :)

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/06/2013 19:54

He's a prick. And needs reporting to the site admin (do they have that?) because that's totally shit behaviour.

LineRunner · 13/06/2013 19:54

I imagine you are attractive and he is not attractive, and your profile sparkles and he is inadequate, and you ignored him, so he has tried to get your attention by attempting to undermine you.

He has attempted this in a pretty pathetic way.

He is jealous of you, basically.

Ignore him again and move on, you lovely person.

forumdonkey · 13/06/2013 19:55

I'm with Lauriefairycake Love it!!

Aetae · 13/06/2013 19:56

Ignore him! He's just insecure about the fact that you didn't reply and he's trying to be a dickhead make himself feel better - small-minded people generally resort to putting others down to make themselves feel better.

See it as a good thing - you were right not to reply to his message as he's obviously a wanker, so your OD instincts are clearly good.

EllaFitzgerald · 13/06/2013 19:56

What a ridiculous little man! I bet he hasn't seen you at all! He clearly fancied you. Your 'gut' wasn't enough to put him off messaging you in the first place and it's only because you've damaged his ego by not falling for his 'heyyy' (clearly put a lot of thought into that, didn't he?) that he's trying to do the same to you. What a twat.

Ignore him, safe in the knowledge that he's just bitter because you weren't interested.

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 13/06/2013 19:58

Aw, thanks, you'll make my head swell! to match body
Yes, it's ok Cupid, so have reported and blocked. Annoyed I don't recognise hm - I'd love to clock him in town and punch his smug, gurning puss have words.
Bluergh, thanks for the niceness!

OP posts:

Hrrrm · 13/06/2013 19:59

Urgh, what a nasty bastard.

I exchanged a few messages with someone out of boredom, and then couldn't be bothered anymore with his long drawn out description of exactly what was involved in making sushi for himself at 2am, so stopped replying. He first sent a message saying 'so, not a fan of [some random shit he'd waffled on about], and when I didn't bite sent a bitchy 'so why do you think you're single? Is it because you lose interest quickly or because you're incredibly choosy?'. Arse. Yes, I'm choosy - especially when it comes to self-involved arseholes.

chocoreturns · 13/06/2013 19:59

wow, what an arse. FWIW I probably wouldn't reply at all, I'd just block. But if you really want to I'd say something along the lines of...

'Thank you for saving me (and no doubt the many other women you have felt it appropriate to insult anonymously online) the effort of finding out in person you're a total twat. A body can change. A twattish personality is forever.'

Then block and move on.

Don't let the bitter knob bring you down - and don't feel a single scrap less attractive as a result either, this kind of man is not the kind you should be caring about, ever! His opinions are at the very least, meaningless.

(((hug)))

forumdonkey · 13/06/2013 19:59

OP you obviously 'got to him'. He obviously liked and fancied you and has probably been waiting for your reply. The fact you've pissed him off by not replying shows you've got it girl so don't feel down on yourself - quite the opposite!!

chocoreturns · 13/06/2013 20:01

lol I was too slow to post - some FAR better suggestions of replies there already!!

Heartbrokenmum73 · 13/06/2013 20:02

Friend of mine was logged into POF one afternoon (she'd just joined and we were building her profile together so she hadn't uploaded her photo yet) and this bloke pm'd her three times in about 5 minutes. They were all of the 'hey' variety. She ignored him because we were busy with the profile. Message no.4 arrived - 'at least I've got a photo. You must be ugly if you won't show your face'. Wtf is wrong with some people? And unwitting women END UP with these arseholes.

EllaFitzgerald · 13/06/2013 20:04

I suspect there would be a bit of a problem with Laurie's suggestion. There is no way that this silver tongued charmer is going to have a very long list of chipolata victims to choose from. Wondering who said it is likely to take all of three seconds!

NatashaBee · 13/06/2013 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Damnautocorrect · 13/06/2013 20:06

Another vote for lauriefairycakes.
What an absolute arse.

DevonCiderPunk · 13/06/2013 20:07

What are OD and POF?!

Sorry to hear you had a brush with a no-mark. Brush him off & stay classy :)

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 13/06/2013 20:09

heartbroken how ridiculous these people are! And hrmm ditto!
Stupid thing is, there's a body shot of me on there, so it's perfectly clear I'm not a skinny minny. AND it says my body type!! Sorry, it's silly defending myself.

OP posts:

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 13/06/2013 20:10

Wonderful as your reply was, Laurie, I am going to leave it

OP posts:

sipofwine · 13/06/2013 20:47

Oh, Stuffez - I really feel for you. Even though you know he must be a prize tit and you wouldn't waste time even sneezing next to him, you still feel upset and hurt by what he's said and that's understandable. It just shows that you are a nice, normal person who wouldn't treat people like shit and he's a low-life.

It reminds me of being really young and the idiotic boys I met (I know girls will have been just as idiotic and annoying but, you know, I was a girl and upset by boys' comments).. I was VERY self-conscious about my big bum. I remember a boy going on and on asking me out and when he finally got the message he said that I had a huge arse but normally hid it well with skirts. I was so upset and kept wondering over and over again 'why did he have to say that?' Of course he was just an immature prat who felt rejected and the same can be said of the revolting dick who said this to you. He probably responds like that to all his rejectees.

Try to remain positive - you know there are loads of lovely men out there who are a bit more intelligent than that and will be interested in the 'whole' of you and I'm sure you will meet some soon. Good luck x

LineRunner · 13/06/2013 20:50

Devon

Online Dating and Plenty Of Fuckwits Fish.

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