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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Tomorrow I am going to look like a stalker!!

31 replies

StuffezLaYoni · 30/05/2013 19:09

I was talking to a really nice guy on OKCupid recently, he was lovely! Then he did the old vanishing trick, god knows why. I can cope with that, totally his prerogative to be a rude tosser but weirdly he's sent me couple of messages since apologising for lack of contact, saying he'd message properly soon and missed me... (hedging his bets?)

i have remained a dignified silence, but tomorrow I genuinely have to go to his place of work. He works at my local university site, and as I'm doing some unpaid work for the Uni, I need to get my ID sorted. He is the person who takes the ID pictures!

At times like this I really wish I was one of those cool, confident women with all the banter... I am not though, I am a socially awkward clod.

Bugger!

OP posts:

Januarymadness · 30/05/2013 19:13

pretend you dont recognise him

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 30/05/2013 19:14

Oh god, can I get away with that?!

OP posts:

Hrrrm · 30/05/2013 19:16

Oh nooo! Good luck! (No advice, sorry.)

musickeepsmesane · 30/05/2013 19:20

I am sorry, this made me laugh! No advice from me either. Very unhelpful of me Might be the start of a love story......let us know how it all goes tomorrow!

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 30/05/2013 19:23

I actually can't pretend to not recognise him - he makes a joke on his profile about his "striking" eyebrows and I just know my eyes will keep flicking up to them!
So glad this is making people laugh!!

OP posts:

Lovingfreedom · 30/05/2013 19:29

Just make sure you look stunning tomorrow. Pretend not to recognise him then when he says 'don't you recognise me?' Point, laugh and say ' oh yeah...the eyebrows'

GoodbyePorkPie · 30/05/2013 19:35

I bet he'll look through the viewfinder of the camera and fall in love with you, like in The Truth About Cats and Dogs.

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 30/05/2013 19:44

Well, I have a box of hair dye so at least my barnet will be a nice, glowy red, as opposed to the having the grey/brown badger stripe of roots...
goodbye I haven't seen it, but can imagine the cheese involved - possibly the man looking up and "seeing" the woman properly for the first time...
God, he was the most intelligent, funny, pleasant guy I've ever chatted to online! I will update...

OP posts:

ItsAllTLAsToMe · 30/05/2013 19:46

Oh God, how awful ().

Lovingfreedom · 30/05/2013 19:48

If he's that great see it as an opportunity

GoodbyePorkPie · 30/05/2013 20:07

"possibly the man looking up and "seeing" the woman properly for the first time..."

Nail on head.

Yes please do report back! If he's funny and pleasant and intelligent he will probably be cool about it and you might even have a laugh and maybe a snog.

Whocansay · 30/05/2013 20:33

Given that some most blokes on dating sites post pictures of themselves taken a good ten years ago, you probably won't realise its him anyway!

The eyebrows are making me think of Dennis Healey

Walkacrossthesand · 30/05/2013 20:35

Does he know your proper name? Will you look just like you do in your profile photos? If 'no' to either of those, chances are he won't twig! Let him take the lead - he's the one who 'vanished' after all. Chances are you'll go, have pic taken & come away as if OKchat had never happened - but I hope he'll recognise you and the rest will follow! Don't worry about stalking bTW - not as if you arranged to work at Uni purely to engineer a meeting!

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 30/05/2013 20:38

Oh God, I've just googled Dennis Healey and spat wine!
Yes he knows my proper name and my profile pics are sadly very recent. You're right though, Walk, I will go in, head held high...

OP posts:

Walkacrossthesand · 30/05/2013 21:24

QueenofWhispers · 30/05/2013 23:22

Do not forget to look your best and act like you don't care. if he mentions it, say something like 'oh, i was hoping you wouldn't recognise me and i could pretend this wasn't happening.' thats what i would say...then say you have to go.

CrabbyBigBottom · 30/05/2013 23:35

I'd take the chance to look as subtly gorgeous as I could manage - make up that took an hour but looks like you're hardly wearing any etc., and show him what he's missing. Then you can upload the id photo of yourself looking horrified and startled at those huge Dennis Healey eyebrows (don't worry walk - I remember).

Anniegetyourgun · 30/05/2013 23:46

Eyebrows? They were small trained hedgehogs.

Lweji · 31/05/2013 04:38

Right, when you get there, smile and be nice.
If he recognises you immediately, pretend to think and say "Oh, yeah, you are that person..." or make him go through lots of details until you remember.
If he apologises, just tell him it's alright. You met someone else and that's why you haven't replied.
If he wants to see you again, just say a vague "Yes, we should do that" or set a date and don't show up.

AKissIsNotAContract · 31/05/2013 05:06

I don't think he'll recognise you.

Lizzabadger · 31/05/2013 05:52

Ha ha ha! Good luck!

A1980 · 31/05/2013 09:54

I hope would love the chance to see him :)

You're prepared for it. He's not.

MortaIWombat · 31/05/2013 13:44

I am desperate to know what happened, Yoni.

Curiositykilledthecrap · 31/05/2013 15:24

Yes - I'd like to know. Maybe they're on a date now?

Original poster

StuffezLaYoni · 31/05/2013 20:57

I can only apologise for a really crappy update! I got there looking like a sweaty, vile mess...opened the door to the ICT desk....and he wasn't bloody working! Two other chaps were on the desk and they looked at me a little oddly!!

So as a remedy to this pointless stress I went out with my new campus card and drunk lots of £1.30 gin and tonics in the college bars and a male mate has invited me to one of his weird, Masonic, funny hand shake dinners next week.... So no cheesy romance, but a nice social thingy lined up .
Sorryyyyyy!

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