Fresh Start, no more losers.

[LoserNoMore]

Just thought I'd start a new thread, general chit chat, moaning, skipping etc before I go to work and incase the other one fills up.

dont worry LNM - suncream not needed today! It was so overcast and humid it was horrid to be outside. We need a good storm to clear it, my head is pounding in this weather.

Did any of you see Watchdog last night? They did a piece about Piz Buin 1 day long suncream... anyway, I put it on over past couple of weeks and came out in little blister spots, on chest and shoulders and tops of arms. I didnt think it was cream, thought Id had a reaction to sun or something. Anyway, lots of people have complained because they are coming out in a rash/blisters when using it! And I only put it on chest/back/shoulders/arms/face - ALL the places I had these spots, but not acne spots (dont get those) like blisters.

I have done loads today, gardening stuff but it looks fab and Ive chopped a butterfly bush down a bit and mowed lawn etc. Also baked 2 batches of scones. Can you tell I was bored?

Im not very good at not doing much.

DH is out tonight and having an Indian meal, so Ive decided that DC and I can have chinese. And because I cba cooking now with my headache.

I saw Watchdog Jax. The suncream reaction was really awful - please don't use it again!

I had an awful headache last night due to the weather. A bit breezier here today but I'd still love a good storm!

I didn't see Watchdog, that's terrible though. On a similar subject I bought Factor 50 suncream the other week. It's a Banana Boat one. I covered the girls and put some on my chest/neck and I had sunburn within about 30 minutes. I ended up buying the Soltan Once one which is good. The Banana Boat one was more of a lotion but I shouldn't have burnt. Dd2 has the fairest skin and her shoulders were a bit red too after 30 mins.

Well I've had a pretty crap afternoon. I feel really anxious again and dd3 had an incident at school which stressed me out. Received a 'deep and meaningful' pile of shit letter from ex. Not worth going into details about but OW is not pregnant apparently and he hasn't seen her for weeks. Letter is in the bin. Just feel like I'm suffocating a bit again.

Apparently Asda had a top performing sun cream last year. I've just bout a Boots all day children's one

It's amazing the hold he has on you LNM. I understand it, because my ex has the same affect on me. Try and talk it through because it helps to rationalise and bin it

His timing is meticulous, I'll say that for him I hope he still isn't under the illusion that him not being with OW will change anything now. We all knew she wasn't pg anyway! Has the police situation progressed any further? - No need to answer that, of course. He is desperate, clutching at straws. I would ask your solicitor to write to him & say any further contact has to occur via them. That should put a stop to the attempted emotional blackmail.

I'm sorry to hear about the school issue, hope your dd is ok. Nearly the end of term, smile & wave, smile & wave!

Remember the smile you put on JD's face earlier this week - that should cheer you up Seriously though, can you extend your sick leave any longer?

Hey LNM good to hear you've been out (and in) having fun with JD.

Shame your ex can't get on with his life too and leave you in peace. He has clearly not even begun to understand that it's over and whether or not he is with ow is no concern of yours anymore. Funny how keen he is to keep harping on about her now, when the time for openess and honesty has long passed.

It's no great surprise to hear that she's not pregnant. Considering all the lies he's told you, that might have been just one more. Glad you took the wise decision to file the letter under 'B'.

Do you want to talk about the incident at school?

Eh how can he not have seen OW for weeks? You saw them in the car together only a few weeks ago wasn't it? Plus only a few weeks ago he was moving in with her because you had left him no choice. He seems a little confused about time scales.

Damn wish I had money on that she wasn't pregnant who would have thunk it

Bin, ignore, move on.

It's a pretty crap afternoon but it is not as devastating as when you first started posting. Look how far you have come. The boulders in the path are getting smaller and smaller, eventually they will be pebbles and you will not even notice them unless a very annoying one gets in your shoe.

Who said the best way to get over one man was to get under another

I'm a bit apprehensive talking about the school thing on the thread but happy to pm if anyone wants. Made to feel like I overreacted so another opinion could be good.

I don't believe a thing he says. I hate that he can affect my whole mood.

I have doctors tomorrow to see if I can maybe get another week off. The thought of going back Monday is another thing stressing me out.

Was ow ever pregnant?

LNM. PM me if you want to :)

Please don't be 'strong' or 'stoic' with the GP. Anyone on this thread can see how your mood roller coasters when he or work affect you. Whilst you need to go back one day give yourself enough time to recover and use this time to make changes in your life so that neither work nor ex can have such affect on you

What news with solicitors? Job hunting?

I don't think you should even spend time wondering if you can believe him or not. Ex and his dramas need packing into a box called and dismissing from your head. It happened. Why, who, and other details are like picking off a scab right now. At some point in the future this will all seem less painful and at that point you can unpick it if you feel the need. All you need to know now is what lies ahead and that means a legal process and a financial process to secure the family's future and ...your new life.

Pm me too. I'm around today. Agree with others re ex. He's distorting facts in his head. Don't give him any headspace. & please don't hold back at dr. Your need for time off is clear.

I like the boulders to pebble analogy. Very apt.

Hey LNM am so sorry to hear that ex has tripped you up again emotionally speaking, and that your DD is having trouble at school, I would think either of those things would be enough to upset anyone, without the stress of a return to work.

Get back to the GP and ask for as much time as you need. In months and years to come you won't look back and think "I wish I'd gone back to work sooner" but you might look back and say "I wish I'd taken another couple of weeks to heal and recover", so err on the side of caution. You need to look after yourself, so that you can be strong and healthy for your DDs.

Feel free to PM me if you want to rant or if you want another opinion on your DDs situation, happy to help if I can (((hugs)))

my inbox is always open.

ask GP for another fortnight. tell them even the thought of going back is causing you horrible anxiety.

sorry ex is hassling again. seems he still can't take in that no, he is not going to get his own way. give up! maybe he hasn't had to deal with consequences too often and is used to getting his own way and so really can't believe that isn't going to happen this time. it's like a child isn't it?

Brilliant to read about you and JD LNM

I agree that you should try to get signed off for two more weeks. I think during that time you really need to write to your boss (and cc her boss too) to explain clearly, that your work is the cause of much of your anxiety and that it is making you ill.

No employer with any sense whatsoever will ignore that. They must, by law, at least appear to make the effort to resolve the situation to everyone's satisfaction.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I am being bossy and going on and on about this. I just can't see how you will ever feel ok about going back to work until something is done and with every additional 2 weeks you are signed off for and no attempt to make things better you will probably feel worse about going back and when you do at some point you will crack and tell them where they can put their job. This is what I would have already done and I can tell you from experience it isn't the answer

HighJinx, I know, that's a good idea. No point going back to the same stress and ignoring it because I'm off won't help.

I've pm'd those who have asked. Feel free to tell me I'm overreacting :)

Noseynoonoo, I've no idea tbh.

I can't think why DH would have lied about the pregnancy, it didn't help his case. The again he hasn't been logical in any of this.

I have been lurking since your first 'This isn't good' post. Am SO impressed with how you have handled this.

You can PM me if you like. I worked in a school & was a governor so have dealt with school related 'conflict'. Don't worry if you don't want to. Sometimes our dcs bring out our tiger mum instincts.

I think HighJinx has a good plan. Get things official and in writing.

Does ex have contact this weekend? If so and you don't want him near your home, arrange pick up//drop off at a public place. No harm putting yourself first - (or alternatively have JD open the door to him, preferably with tousled hair, undies and a smell of sex off him - ).

LNM, Pleased to see you've be errrrr....."getting therapy", in about 29 days i planned to break my 4 year no sex slump in a dirty fashion, well i plan to ruin this man anyway....

You are most definitely NOT over reacting to the school thing! Actually, I would be putting it in writing - then it cannot be ignored and it will be on record too.

Drs for you - more time off needed, then a letter/email to boss, cc HR and MD if needed detailing what you have said here re work. No job is worth making yourself ill over.

Many years ago I almost had a nervous breakdown due to a job I had. I was only young, but the pressure and stress was horrific. Looking back now, I cannot believe that I took it, but I did. Eventually left and never looked back, but I almost cracked!

Nobody ever wishes they had spent more time working in a horrible job that makes them ill.

agree - in writing to the head with all the details and requesting written feedback about what will be done to ensure this never happens again.

Lazarus, he has the girls tomorrow for the night. his parents are back from holiday so hes taking them to see them.I've arranged to meet him in town so that's sorted.

Good to hear from you loulybelle. Good news the drought is coming to an end

I have a sick line for next week. Going to write an email shortly to work.

Still feeling anxious. I keep feeling slightly panicked at the thought of going out. Don't know what that's about.

Its probably anxiety transferring from work/twunt. Just do the breathing and grounding technique and you will be ok.

In for 7, out for 11.

thats breathing btw - not a curfew!

Ha have only just read this and my PM says...not over reacting at all and get it in writing....great minds and all that

Glad there will some distance at handover. Keep that in place as long as you need/want to.

Use Jax's curfew breathing technique to help with your anxiety, but if you feel you need more than that, talk to your GP. I would guess it's work/ex related. That sounds stupid written down - what I mean is, you didn't feel anxious earlier in the week about going out did you? But the nearer the time comes to see ex or go to work, your anxiety increases.

I must stop this cod psychology. I may again be way off the mark. Apologies in advance if I am.