Fresh Start, no more losers.

[LoserNoMore]

Just thought I'd start a new thread, general chit chat, moaning, skipping etc before I go to work and incase the other one fills up.

Love pistachio nuts

I have walked my dog for about 10 miles :)

Came home knackered and found a hen had not gone to bed because the run door had blown shut. 15 mins spent crawling hands and knees with a torch to find her!

Those hens are worse than kids Cabbage.

Thank you.

At least I can grab the hens and shove them in a dark cupboard and lock the door eh!

DD keeps telling me I can't do that to her

Horrible to feel so powerless...

Take time to centre yourself. honour his memory, remember how he touched your life.
Say a prayer or put on a song he would like.
Talk to the girls about him, create a new custom of a pre Father's Day something or t'uther.

I can think of a ( possible? ) positive already, that this man left you a gift, of what a good man looks like.
You are passing it on by not putting up with less than.

The bigger picture is a beautiful one.

Lovely words lowercase.

LNM. I hope today is a time when you can enjoy the sunshine with your girls and have good memories. I suspect wrapped up in your loss of a lovely man is the thoughts of your biological dad and a despair over men who act so badly. Wish I could say something trite about that but my own experience means I feel like saying never trust a man :( Yet my Dad is a gentleman. A lovely man. They do exist.

so sorry lnm. i lost my grandad when i was mid teens and was the one who found him. i absolutely adored him as he'd been there every single day of my childhood and i probably spent more 'proper' time with him than anyone. i still miss him sometimes and think of that day waiting with him/his body in his house whilst my dad went and organised and made phone calls etc. he was like my rock of stability and good humour and compassion and affection as a child. i never had to doubt he loved me or would stop loving me itms whereas other adults were more complicated.

i know it doesn't compare to a dad but losing someone who means a lot to you at that age and being there with them rather than it being a phonecall to tell you or something is big i know.

i have no doubt at all that he would be proud of you x

LNM. Thinking of you today. What you did for him was amazing, not everyone would have been able to do that. You tried, that you must treasure beyond words, I can't imagine how frightened you must have been. You are such a brave person. I'm glad you had his love in your life and I'm sure he's keeping an eye on you.

Cabbage - has your dd not seen Harry Potter?

I cried when I read your post LNM.
Your Dad (and I call him 'Dad' with purpose) sounded like such a special man. He would be so proud of you - his legacy is that you are strong enough to walk away from your ex. Decent men DO exist.

I hope you can feel me hugging you LNM. Right now.

...and everything lowercase said.
Such lovely words.

hi, is anyone around? Im home!

still bit coughy, but oh had a lovely time at my nieces new place - in Borders, so East coastish.

Didnt want to come home.

Hope everyone is ok? all my threads I am on have vanished, and have flipped so will try sorting when more with it. Drove home 4 this morning so have had a sleep but its a weird tired sleep not a refreshed lets start the day type of sleep.

Rambling now.

weather nice here.

Hi Jax, I'm glad you had a good time, I'm very jealous of your Niece, I love Scotland. My great Grandparents on my Dad's paternal side were Scottish although my Grandparents slid down to the North East of England. I learnt to walk in the Borders (Roxburgh) so I feel a bit of connection with Scotland, however tenuous!

It's annoying when you lose threads, I have a feeling that I'll lose a few in August, it's going to be busy!

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

Been non stop all day, haven't stopped. Going to fall into bed now, good night

LNM caught up properly now. Sending you a big hug for tomorrow.

Oh and BTW - I can cook! And I quite like cooking. I dont mind doing dinner, but its every person for themself at breakfast and lunch.

Unless you want fruit and yoghurt or cereal and toast for brekkie.

I do love a big ole Scottish fry up but luckily my niece does that and I do dinner.

I have stuffed my face the whole time we were away - back to my low carb tomorrow. Dreading stepping on the scales!

Want to move back now, that is what I hate about seeing everyone. It just isnt practical though, my DC are English and DH job is down here and I dont fancy a weekend husband or Dad. Tried that before the DC were born and it didnt work for us then. And isnt fair on DH.

Off to bed now, been a v long day.

Sleep a good sleep LNM.
Good memories hold close.

LNM - been thinking of you today. Hope you're ok - keeping busy always helps to pass the time!

Had a busy day and a tiring trip back from the lakes. So tired now - just trying to catch up on a bit of tv before I sink into my comfy (flat) bed with pillows!! (We forgot the pillows!! It was pants )!!

There's no doubt your 'dad' is proud of you - no doubt. Hope you have a good sleep.

i can't believe i have to go to work today! so inconvenient.

hope everyone is recovered from their holidays and not on too much of a come down. i'm going to try and see head of HR about my op today - i have no idea how time off for a planned operation works.

Work :(
Nuff said

Ditto that Cabbage.

Didn't sleep a wink, I put a nicotine patch on last night and had umpteen crazy dreams that kept waking me, including one where I could fly and I was flying through the town. And another I was babysitting for a friend and her baby turned into a mouse...

Have a good day.

You sure it was a nicotine patch LNM??!!

Sorry to hear you didn't sleep I hate that! Feel for you all going off to work.

Good luck at work SAF - I'm sure it will be fine. LNM - when was the deadline for that job application? Wonder when you might hear something?

morning all.

Nicotine patches gave me horrendously weird dreams! I wore it during the day but took it off at night.

I am going to get some today as I really need to stop smoking. It has become a regular thing and I am smoking far too much! And its costing a fortune. Cant roll my own and I only smoke menthol.

Anyway, sun is shining here, I have a mountain of laundry to do - not because everything is dirty but because my Mum smokes in her house, but only in the kitchen... everything stinks and I hate it. So, Im already a rubbish smoker!

Off to hurry the washing machine up!

Hope everyone has a good day today.

One positive to take from all this I suppose LNM is that you know that it is possible for kids to have wonderful step fathers, should you ever get to that place and that their fathers are not the only role model for their life.

not sure if that helps but I still like to think that LPs can have sucessful second rs.

you are quite clearly a credit to your mum and dsf.

Dh is a great-stepdad to ds1. We met when he was 5. I was really screwed up when I met, he offered us stability and love. It can happen, even to a pessimist like me!

can't imagine it happening to me. can totally imagine it happening for others though

I was definite that I didn't want to be in another relationship ever when I met dh. The timing was terrible. But I couldn't deny what I was feeling so went with it. Glad I did

Good point pegwin

I too fear another relationship but appear to be in one. Bit bewildering how that has happened! He is brilliant with DD and that is essential for me