Being too sensitive?

[littlemissgiggles79]

Hi

long time lurker never posted before.
I enjoy reading the dating threads.

Have been wondering about something.

I met my bfs parents not too long ago. Little things irked me. Been seeing him for 3 months first meeting with folks.

I have a handbag that is designer. Not hugely expensive: about £70 and it was a Christmas present from my dad. I don't own designer clothes or shoes and am modest with my spending. I had a Nine West coat with me but is quite old.

I have been using the same bag with my bf for the whole time we have been dating. Never said anything.

I caught his mother eyeing up my handbag and my coat. the next time I saw my bf one of the first things he did was point out my handbag. He actually said "you've got a designer bag". Then he mentioned my nine West coat and that they are expensive. Never mind the fact that every shirt he wears has a designer label on it.

Am I right to be pissed off at this? He even balked at my face cream costs when I bought it.

None of his business and I don't buy CK or RL shirts.

Eh? A designer bag at the cost of £70? Who is he kidding? I wouldn't be pissed off though? What is it that's pissed you off? Has he insinuated anything? Sorry, lots of question marks in that post, but I just don't geddit!

What do you think he's insinuating?

Sounds like you were too taken aback to make the obvious reply 'gotta keep up with your designer tastes, darling!! 'Seriously - your money, you know what you like to spend it on. If you've been seeing each other 3 months and he's already starting to criticise your spending choices, time to run for dem dere hills. Unless you can firmly maintain the 'none of your business what I spend my money on' approach , and let him go if he doesn't like it....

What designer? To me £70 = nice M & S leather bag. Designer = Mulberry @ £800. Can you be a bit more specific?

I don't know. The fact that he's pointing out that I own a designer bag and spend decent money on face cream when he has a wardrobe full of.designer Shirts etc.

I'm not even sure it's designer: one of those longchamp folding bags with the brown handles.

I'm thinking selfish later down the line in that he can have nice stuff ad I can't. also his mother must have pointed it out and he actually said something to me after she eyed it up.

Are you upset that his mother noticed and commented to your bf? You don't know that it was in a snide way, she might have been commenting approvingly? It can be uncomfortable meeting important people for the first time. I wouldn't assume anything untoward, if you put your guard up now it could be hard to repair later.

Possibly catcher. But his reaction wasn't that encouraging. also he said my face cream is a rip off. its only boots protect and.perfect.

I threw it straight back at him that he has designer labels on everything he owns and my.clothes are generally m&s phase eight etc.

Possibly catcher. But his reaction wasn't that encouraging. also he said my face cream is a rip off. its only boots protect and.perfect.

Righto - well there's an alarm bell ringing right there. Slagging off your stuff...opinionating on your choices...as if he gets a say?
Hmmm....

I'm wondering why he's bothered. I couldn't care less what he has or.uses. in fact I want him to have nice.stuff.

He even said once you get used to.expensive.cream you can't.stop using it.

Excuse all the full stops. Useless with my iphone and my can't be bothered to edit.

Well look - listen to your instincts. If he is scathing of your belongings as a waste of money, yet feels quite happy to treat himself to the same, then he's probably a bellend.

It's the only time he's done it....so far.

You don't have to justify your spending you are an adult. You are justifying it to us too....has he made you feel like that?
Huge red flag. Huge!

It's difficult to say what's what really...

Needless to say though...it's a new relationship and you're not obliged to him at all. Something has made you prickle, so do yourself a favour and heed your own instinct. If he continues in a manner that mkes you feel at odds, then move on.

I think...and I might be wrong...that the OP is simply saying she's no Colleen Rooney, yet still he sees fit to comment. As though he thinks that anything above the low end of the market is wasted on her. Like she doesn't deserve them?

I'm just guessing like. Maybe his mum is worried she's got big aspirations on her son's wallet, what with her fancy tastes...lol!

Shit I am justifying it to you too aren't I?

I also looked at a hobbs dress that was £129 & he was like Ooh that's a lot. we don't live together, I do ok financialyt. it's my money!

I get the impression they get stuff off the back of a lorry. they don't buy each other expensive stuff.

Well you could point out that you have had the handbag X time and would have paid more for 5 or 6 cheap ones that would have worn out in that time. Same for the coat, so it was money wisely invested and worked out cheaper long term.

Or you could point out that you are an adult and you can spend your money how and when you like without getting a boyfriends approval.

I would be worried if you have long term plans to live together or have children that you would be reduced to buying Primark or nothing whilst he spends as and when he likes.

Keep an eye out to see if this develops.

None of that stuff is that expensive.

I'd be worried about his attitude too.

If he's carping about the cost of stuff you like, then you may be assured he's going to be a tightwad.

Hmmm, I agree, you certainly don't have expensive tastes, but I'm slightly tuned into your comment 'stuff off a back of a lorry'......it's not you that's being a wee bit if a closet snob is it?

OP, how is he when you're out together, in terms of spending? Do you split the bill? If so, does he object to you paying for that?

I couldn't go out with someone who thought he had the right to comment on things that I had worked for and paid for myself. What the hell is it to do with him? I agree with the poster who said she thought his mum assumed you were after his money. Not that that makes sense when you've bought your own things!7

Kitty, I'd be a snob about things being bought off the back of a lorry - it means they're stolen goods, doesn't it?

I don't think so kitty.

He keeps telling me his mate gets him stuff a lot cheaper. I don't know how but wonder if it's hot. the impression he gave me.

Not a snob at all. wait until the sales for most things.

We take it in turns for dates or split the bill re paying.

He probably spends more than I do.

But she only gets an impression that's where they get it, not factual. They don't buy each other expensive stuff......just odd statements to make.

For the record, I don't buy knock off gear either! Although I have bought Armarni (Amani) sunnies whilst on holiday!