I feel angry

[quarterfrench]

I've been with my DP for five years, both divorced with our own house and we see each other most nights apart from two nights where we're on our own doing our own thing at home.

We've recently returned from a group activity holiday and my DP doesn't like to always mix with huge crowds, so in the evenings we were pretty much on our own (which he prefers) whereas I would prefer to mix more with other people. I went along with the way he prefers as, (a) Perhaps I'm stupid and too 'giving' and (b) because I love him and wanted him to be happy.

Now returned from holiday and today at our local club I saw him (from afar) exchange numbers with much younger woman who I vaguely know. I asked him later and he told me he was going to give her coaching lessons, presumably on a regular basis, Now, I don't feel threatened by this woman, like he's going to take her out for a drink, or anything, (she's 15 years or more his junior) but it irritated me and made me a little jealous. if I hadn't have asked him (he didn't see that I noticed) he wouldn't have told me. This woman knows we are a 'couple'. Do you think it odd? or am I just being totally unreasonable? The reason I ask is that he wouldn't like it at all, if I did the same.

Probably, after having spent an unsatisfactory holiday with Mr Anti-Social, you were feeling generally pissed off with him and that's coloured your interpretation of the number-exchanging. Then again, I've learned to my cost, that if something in a relationship makes me feel uncomfortable it's unwise to dismiss it as irrational.

Maybe you're realising that there's double-standards going on, you're too willing to 'give', and you're not particularly compatible after all.

angry so not just mildly concerned, ticked off, uncomfortable? Do you know whether this coaching will take place on one of your 5 nights together or on either of the 2 nights you spend apart?

I suspect Cogito has her finger on the pulse,

Maybe you're realising that there's double-standards going on, you're too willing to 'give', and you're not particularly compatible after all

Thanks for your replies.... Maybe 'angry' was too strong a word; I just bashed it out... I do know these coaching lessons will be during the day when she's free.

I think, as you say, I'm realising that I am too willing to 'give' etc and perhaps, yes, we're really not that compatible.....

Anyway, thank you.

Maybe your relationship has hit a plateau more than a crisis, but worth examining if you're feeling unsettled.