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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you date someone younger? I'm 27, he is 20.

63 replies

LittleIllusionMachine · 15/05/2013 18:45

I'm pretty upset to find out how young he is, I assumed he was around 25/26. We've been speaking for a few days after meeting a couple of weeks ago.

He's brilliant, we like the same things, he makes me laugh. He's intelligent and gorgeous. I REALLY like him. Sounds ridiculous after a week, but there is real chemistry and I'm GUTTED.

I wasn't thinking about a future yet (obviously!), but this has kind of bought it to the forefront. Would it work? I don't want to get into a completely casual thing, I wanted to date and see how it went. But is there any point now? Hmm

OP posts:
sonu678 · 15/05/2013 18:46

it could work. depends on how mature he is. BUT the likelihood is that it wont be anything more than a casual fling.
Having said that, my colleagues parents the dad is six years younger. :)

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/05/2013 18:48

No-one will agree with me but I don't think there is much point. :) If you're not looking for casual it's a bit of a non-starter dating someone who is fresh out of their teens, however nice they are.

FrebbieMisaGREATshag · 15/05/2013 18:52

I'm 45. The current boyfriend is 33. Meh. If it doesn't last, his loss Grin

If you get on why not give it at go?

LittleIllusionMachine · 15/05/2013 18:55

It sounds so stupid but I'm sitting here practically in tears at the disappointment!

Good ones NEVER come along, one does and he is practically a sperm! Blegh. Need your advice, so I can get my head around it!

OP posts:
FrebbieMisaGREATshag · 15/05/2013 18:56

Half your age plus 7. So that's 13 plus 7 which is 20.

Phew. He just scrapes in.

Date the bloke. You're only dating Jesus you're not marrying him just yet!

johnnycomelurky · 15/05/2013 18:58

My husband is 5 years younger than me and was 20 when we met. I thought it would be just a fling but we're still together 10 years later Smile

uncongenial · 15/05/2013 18:59

Pfft, seven years isn't too much younger.

Just date him and see how it goes.

FrebbieMisaGREATshag · 15/05/2013 19:00

Sorry. Phone hates me. Him. Not Jesus.

lottieandmia · 15/05/2013 19:00

7 years is not that big a gap - I would give it a go. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

badinage · 15/05/2013 19:00

I'd go for it.

Just see how it goes. I get that you're not into casual flings but there's a hinterland between that and the whole marriage and kids shebang isn't there?

Springforward · 15/05/2013 19:02

I am 5 years older than DH and he was 21 when we got together. Still together 12 years later, marriage kids mortgage cat etc. The only time I think about it is birthday time when I get irrationally jealous of his age for 48 hours or so Grin.

usualsuspect · 15/05/2013 19:05

Go for it, it might work out,it might not.

who knows?

handcream · 15/05/2013 19:09

Do you have any children?

starfishmummy · 15/05/2013 19:11

I don't think the age gap is very big, it's more the fact that he is only 20.
But enjoy it, who knows what will happen!

BackforGood · 15/05/2013 19:13

Yes. Whyever not ?

dh was 19 when we started going out, and I was 27 (he thought I was younger and I thought he was older when we first got together).
We've been married 19 years so far, and the age hasn't bothered us one bit once his mother got over it.

BackforGood · 15/05/2013 19:13

Oop! 26! I was 26!!

nellyjelly · 15/05/2013 19:15

Just wait and see how it goes. You are still young yourself.

KittensandKids · 15/05/2013 19:15

I would still go for it, I'm 35 add 4 years and I date 30 yr olds.

LittleIllusionMachine · 15/05/2013 19:18

Thanks everyone, maybe I need to get over myself then! Smile

He does not seem bothered in the SLIGHTEST btw!

OP posts:
SoleSource · 15/05/2013 19:19

Go with the flow!
If he rejects you at some point, you'll survive x

TheDetective · 15/05/2013 19:24

I dated a 19 year old, I was 25 with an 8 year old child.

3.5 years later, we are still going strong, and have a little 5 month old baby.

It was rocky to begin with, as he wasn't confident in a mature relationship, but we soon ironed out any issues.

His mum on the other hand, took about 2 years to come around. Now I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Grin

Fairylea · 15/05/2013 19:27

If the shoe fits.... !

Yes whyever not. As long as he is lovely and treats you well and you have the same maturity (which isn't the same as age at all).

I met my dh online. He is 8 years younger than me..I am in my 30s :) we now have ds 11 months and dd aged 10 adores him.

I have also had some less serious relationships with younger men before I met dh. All fun :) why not!

iklboo · 15/05/2013 19:30

DH is 8 years younger than me. He was 22 when we started seeing each other.

Springforward · 15/05/2013 19:32

Oh yes, forgot that it took MIL a while to get over it though Grin

Beamur · 15/05/2013 19:34

I've been out with someone 7 yrs younger than me and my DP is 7 years older than me.
If you like him I can't see the problem.