The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Whacking The Wine Witch Round The Chops (With Barry The Squid).

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

I'm one of the Brave Babes who's travelling on this wonderful, magical, mysterious Bus, trying to hold onto my sobriety for me, and for my family.

I do drink but thanks to this Bus, I've kicked the vodka addiction into touch and the evil WineWitch has been banished far, far away so I now drink in a controlled manner, One Day At A Time. :)

By that, I mean that just for today, I won't be drinking. Tomorrow, however, I will be because it's a very special occasion. The day after will be dealt with when I wake, and the day after that, the day after etc.....

We're a Bus filled with some fantastic posters, some who drink, some who don't touch a drop ever and some who are on/off drinkers who have lovely warm seats in the side-car, some are hanging onto the roof-rack by the tips of their fingers and trying their best to resist the dreaded WineWitch's charms night after night. But they are trying, and that's all that any of us can do, is keep trying, keep starting again!

So, if you think that you're drinking too much (you probably are) why not come and say hi? We won't bite - unless you ask very nicely, manners cost nothing .

There's lots of seats so pick whichever one you like and have a . Just jump in, we're not a judgemental pack of quiche makers

And here's a bit of light reading for you.... our latest thread and the very first one, the reason we're all here.

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

Oooh Faire! sublime .

I nominate you to write the next UK Eurovision Song Contest entry!

Purple what an amazing video, makes you feel humbled that he is so positive & we moan about so much in life.
Wishing all babes love & strength today (& hopefully some sunshine!) xx

Aliasjoey, thanks for mentioning the podcasts - I think I quizzed you about them before and I have two of them now - good stuff.

Day 5. Heavier for the chocolate biscuits, much much lighter for the no booze.

Isinde, and everyone, some thoughts about backsliding:

We are all fighting something that won't be beaten in one battle. Perhaps ever, finally. But that doesn't make it not worth fighting. Every day you don't drink or drink less is an achievement in itself and is all we have, even the longest term non-drinker can't wake up one day and say "It's over". ODAAT. this is what AA is all about, people struggling, falling off and coming back.
to use a rather dark analogy, would it be worth not trying to live a good life because you know you're going to die?
One of the most important things that some-time git and occasional genius St Paul said was: Never compare yourselves to others, because you can always find those greater or lesser than you. This is very important, because it is only the filter of your self loathing or grandiosity (depending on who you are and what mood you are in) which determines whether you choose to compare yourself to someone who is doing less well or better than you. All you can walk is your own road, so walk it your best way. Your best way, not his, not hers. My road is riddled with bottles and mistakes but this is the way I have and I will keep going.
I was bothered last week when Mouse asked Inde: Will you ever break the cycle? Do you want to? Although it was not addressed to me, I thought: that is not a helpful question to someone who has stated what they want to do and can't get there right now. Maybe they know each other better and it meant something else to Inde but I am going to be a bit cheeky and reply as if it was meant for me: Yes, I do want to, and yes I will, even if only for days at a time, and even if I am always scared. I will do my imperfect best and I know what I want and who I want to be even if I don't always look like that person.
Anyway that's enough from me. Too many long posts from me these days. Have a good day all babes x

Just caught up, blimey it's been like an episode of eastenders on here this week :) i'll equate Faire to nick berry! Some brilliant posts. isinde it's all been said but ditto!

Hugs purple keep on keeping on. alias my first few days on these meds were mental, no sleep, nausea, hot flushes, euphoria, felt like I was on recreational drugs but it settles down within a week. Please give your meds a chance for a few weeks, know that the bad sleep and strangeness are just your brain getting used to them and it will pass.

curry your last post another belter, completely agree and was having a similar conversation with myself last night (in the side car again). We can but keep on keeping on and every day AF for me is a day better than where i used to be. Hopefully they'll increase in time. Appreciate this may not be a helpful way to think if you can't stop once you've started and beed to abstain completely.

For today I will not be drinking.

full come and talk to us.

Sorry not to name check all. Waves and best wishes to all babes xx

gugg well done with the potty training, i get the elation . We've been at i for two years! DS 4 in a couple of weeks and still haven't cracked it. He pood his pants yesterday whilst riding on his dad's shoulders ,

Buckle up Babes, we have a Babe MIA.

full we are coming to get you....
indie yeah, you didn't need the last slap, it was just for the hell of it.
at Barrie driving the bus
Sally army band sounds good - bagsy the tambourine.

Come in, Full, come in Full, do you read me? Come in Full!

greeny which ADs are you on, if you don't mind me asking? I've taken so many different ones over the past year and I'm getting slightly desperate. I do want to give these ones a good go, it's just very worrying thinking I'm never going to be right again.

The positive side of horrible side-effects, is I have absolutely no urge to drink. I bought some wine yesterday (why?? Habit? ) but don't feel like touching a drop.

Anyone heard from full ?

Hi Alias I am on Fluoxetine and Atemoxetine - Both made me feel awful to start with then settled after a couple of weeks. I am still having some side effects from the latter so am reducing the dose but I have stuck with it for quite a long time.

The reality I don't think I will be "right again" (was never right to start with :) ) I just weigh up the pros and the cons - i.e Okay now I find it hard to cry, no libido, sleep disturbed etc - but I CAN concentrate at work stop over thinking OCD, panic etc etc.

Hope they work out well for you, hang on in there xx

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Curry - I was bothered last week when Mouse asked Inde: Will you ever break the cycle? Do you want to? Although it was not addressed to me, I thought: that is not a helpful question to someone who has stated what they want to do and can't get there right now. Maybe they know each other better and it meant something else to Inde but I am going to be a bit cheeky and reply as if it was meant for me: Yes, I do want to, and yes I will, even if only for days at a time, and even if I am always scared. I will do my imperfect best and I know what I want and who I want to be even if I don't always look like that person.

In response to that, yes, IsinDe and I have danced that dance many a time, we have talked openly on here about her being a 'serial offender' and that her drinking comes in cycles, usually when she is away from the people who she loves and wants to be with more than anything else in the world, her DP and her DTs.

It wasn't meant to cause upset, or to hurt her feelings, or to be mean etc, it was meant as a direct question, hoping for a direct answer of 'Fuck YES YES YES Mouse I do but right now I'm not sure what to do.......' which would have then lead to us all posting in reply to her with love, support and understanding, which is what happened anyway.

IsinDe didn't reply to me and yes, I know IsinDe in RL, we talk off board, but it doesn't give me the right to ever upset her. I have asked her before on here if she is sick of the cycle, fed up of the same old same old. That's all that it was. Perhaps poor timing on my part in hindsight. xx

I'm glad you have answered and I don't think it's cheeky at all, in fact your posts have been fantastic of late, very positive and upbeat, stronger. You seem in control much more, like you have found a secret door to the inner you couldn't open before? So what if you drink for a few days and then have a few days off, as you said, it's the days off that count!

Has anyone PM'd Full at all or are they in contact with her off here?

I feel a little out of the loop here at the moment so please excuse me if I don;t post to you all, it feels as though I keep missing the Bus as it whizzes past me.

I hope you are all okay, I know some of you are on new journey's with medication and other forms of support and I hope that they work. :)

Joey - well done on not drinking that wine you bought, you're right, half of the battle is habit! Bloody annoying, stupid habit. Kick ass girl!

Purps - I hope you're feeling better today? You're very up and down too of late, keep going, keep kicking ass when you feel that you can and when you feel that you can't come here for a turn in the HuggleBooth?.

I'm outta here for a while, be good you lot, I don't want to come back to Barry strapped to a seat so he can't be used for his intended nature and opal fruit wrappers everywhere.

Ma - sending you love for Richard, I hope that he is settled more, still safe and that you are finally getting some rest lovely?

Mouse xx

mouse "Barry strapped down and used for his intended nature" ?! What the... I am indignant at the implication that we would use Barry for anything other than slapping people round the chops! He is an innocent squid! (or octopus, never been sure on that)

oh yes ma please send us updates on Richard, it is so nice to hear a success story

Hi everyone-I cant tell you how much all the good wishes mean to me! Im sitting here just now close to tears! I shut down last nite after my last post and only getting messages now.
I got bad news that I was expecting yesterday that my contract will end in july. Im reacting badly to that as I have no rl backup or support. I dont know what to do but know things will be fine when I get my head round it. There is no funding left and so ive been treated badly the past while to try to get me to leave iucwim? They didnt realise until I pointed it out to them the rights that I have. It is the health service and you would expect more kindness but unfortunately not!
I got home yestetday and drank more than ive ever done on 1 nite! I def dont feel better for it and am off sick today.

Thx everyone again - all will be fine when I get my head together !!

fullof so glad to hear you're okay. The NHS have wellbeing support for all staff, contact your HR department and find out what is available for you.

nhsemployers.org/HealthyWorkplaces/Pages/Home-Healthy.aspx is a national thing, but check with your organisation as there may be a local one for your Trust.

Full - thank you for posting and letting us know you are 'okay' in the loosest possible terms.

Hi joey - thats a good idea they have counselling that I can go to. Ill check it on monday.
Hi mouse - im there almost 4 years which is reason they terminate me now as otherwise im permanent and trust is in dire financial state. I am feeling hurt and rejected and pushed out. Its best for them if I just go as they are then 'of hook' . Thats main reason im not going to leave ie they must pay redundancy and they dont want to! Its going to be awkward as im managing a project and teams but im not letting tnem away with it. They thought I would be so wounded and rejected that I would just go and im not gonna!!!!

Im going just now and have walk or something to clear head. Xxxx to all and thx again

Ps the temping def not stupid question:-) thats what ill do afterwards!

Fullofhopefullness, great to "see" you again. Sorry about termination, I have been there, and you are damn right not to just walk off and make it easy for them.

I honestly really think we are going to lose the house and I am pretty down about it. tears. I am being a bit pathetic.

Mouse, thanks, yes I am in general feeling better. I drank far too much around and after the house move because of stress and because it helped me sleep. I know it was poor sleep though and I was tired anyway and I have been working on sober sleep. It's getting better, I am feeling alright without the crutch and that is what is making me feel stronger. And 2 nights on the run without dd2 waking up, hurray!

Everyone please pray for my house. Thank you x

have a good day all

PS Boast: just been out to lunch with a colleague drinking wine and had tea

WELL DONE CURRY!!!!! That, now THAT is an achievement my love.

I'm sorry about the house, that sounds so utterly shite. It's out of your control, that is the hardest thing isn't it? You just have to let it happen. I'm sorry sweets - I will keep everything crossed for you xx

Full - good for you re the temping. And yes, DO NOT GO QUIETLY! Do you have any rights being there for 4 years? Even though it's not a perm contract IYSWIM?

I've just opened all of Nemo's uniform out, looked at it and burst into tears. He's too small for school, he's only 86cm tall, he's tiny. How can it be time for school already?

See theyre letting me go at 3 years 10 months because 4 years would give permanent rights. They overlooked that I have 8 years in diff related org and that counts for redundancy purposes. I therefore am entitled to 12 years recundancy. U should have seen their faces when I mentioned it to them!!!!

Brilliant!! Good for you sweets! xx

Thx mouse this is all helping so much! I still feel shit aftet drinking so much-it definitelydidnt help. Def not drinking ever again!!!