Do I return this gift?

[superstarheartbreaker]

My recent ex gave me a cool bday present; it's an ipod shuffle. I can't even look at it at the moment. I should keep it really shouldn't I as returning it is a 'reaction'. Agggrrr....it just hurts to even see it there atm but I am not taking it to the charity shop!

eBay?

Sell it or give it to a mate.

Hmmm. I will keep it as is very useful for now and see how I feel after a few months. Everything is hurting atm. All I can do is smoke fags. I have no idea if this is a normal reaction. I have managed to go to work, eat and go to parents' evening but I am surrounded by this wall of pain. I'm putting on a brave face. I've no idea why I've taken this so badly. I think it's because i am blaming myself and I'm convinced I'm going to die alone because I'm a crap and horrible person.

Plus what I hate about breaking up is that the one person you want to talk to is no go. :-(