A happy update from TIL

[TisILeclerc]

She and the children are where they need to be now and she is very grateful for all the support and encouragement she has received. I hope very much that she will return here but for now she?s intending to lie a little bit low.

Please just be sensitive to the fact that this is a huge, life changing decision for her and I think she would like it toned down a bit wrt pompoms and congratulations. I hope very much that this will change as the days pass and she becomes accustomed to the incredulous joy of freedom. She is already sounding positive about life where she is right now.

This time they really are ?safe? in the way that everybody hoped previously.

NB I have not used any names in this for a reason. Please be aware of security as she is understandably very worried about him locating her

Fingers crossed that she gets the time and space to breathe... and to de-spaghettify!

Would echo what others have said, if she needs anything at all I'm sure there will be MNers queuing to help her out, but I know she was v keen to keep RL and MN separate so maybe that won't happen. But the offers are there.

Thanks, TisI.

I've been checking the thread each time I log on, so it's lovely to hear that she is safe.

She seems such a lovely strong woman. I'm so pleased for her and the DC that they have this chance.

This is very good news and I wish her strength and courage. Lots of people ready and willing to 'listen' and offer encouragement whenever she is able to post again.

xxxx

Many thanks TIL

ah found it. good positive news. thanks

Excellent news. Thanks for the update TIL.

Just knew she'd got the courage, the strength, the drive and wanted better for her DC, to do this!

You know you have us all behind you willing you on through these days of change, but more than that, you have your RL support too.

Enjoy your freedom with your dcs and watch you all flourish, and we're here to lean on whenever you need us.

Have been checking every day for an update and praying that she and the DCs are safe and well. Thank you so much, Tis, for confirming that they are. I hope this is the start of a beautiful new free life. So very,very relieved and pleased. Xx

I'm thrilled to hear that she and the children are safe. Wishing her strength to continue and build a better life.

Im so pleased to hear this. She is one brave woman and im pleased to hear she and DCs are safe. Wishing all the best for the future and the new found freedom they now have.

Well done, my lovely. I hope you can reconnect with your instincts strongly now, and begin to truly believe in yourself. You are an awesome woman. Thinking of you xxx

What a wonderful update - thanks TIL for everything.

And thanks to you, Lady, for being so gutsy and impressive. Yes, you! :)

thanks TIL, x

GS I can't comment on your specifics in you post because I go haven't been there/have no experience, but these are things I your past, you have removed yourself and the dcs, you are projecting them and keeping them safe 5- that has to count.and {{}} lots of them!!

Love , love love the new name.

Someone else with more knowledge about how ss operate will be along soon, but I'm sure that by talking with them honestly about how you were deceived and manipulated by your h, coupled with the fact that you have now removed yourself from the situation and can now see more clearly the manipulation, they will be understanding.

All it does is further illustrate how dangerous your h was/is towards your dcs.

Sorry for dodgy typing - iPad!!

Well done you, sweetheart.

I am not one of the expert posters but my understanding is that SS works with you if you are trying to stay out of the bad situation going forward.

And of course you should come back with questions, worries etc - we are here for you, and what you need. Xx

Hi GS. I'm glad you are coping OK.

I don't know enough about how SS work to give you a definitive answer here, but I am replying in the hope someone who knows more will see the thread and be able to give you an answer.

I think the consensus I have seen on threads here is that the important thing to SS will be that you have taken definitive action in leaving the abuse and are now gaining clarity about it and its effects on the children. SS understand the dynamic of DV and that it is difficult for people to extricate themselves because their confidence in their own perceptions and instincts is undermined.

What probably would really worry them, however, would be if you went back to the relationship.

So glad to see you, but very sorry you feel stressed and worried

Perhaps a confidential word with your WA contact will help to put your mind at rest. Or perhaps you could ring the helpline anonymously, would that help...? It's a place to start...

You are not unstable, truly: you have taken decisive action to free yourself and your DC. This took enormous courage and presence of mind. Your children are safe today because of you.

I think they will be well versed in dealing with clients who have been enduring emotional abuse, appeasing a partner who dominates the household, keeping up appearances. They'll understand the confusion in dealing with a partner who has cycles of reasonable behaviour balanced by spells of control and aggression.