My sister called my DS a 'little shit'

[CantThinkOfAYoniPun]

We were at a family paryt. Lots of children, bouncy castle etc. She had brought some her her DC's ride on toys along for everyone to play on.

Her two are 1 and 3.

My DS1 (who is 10) was riding on a scooter and as he went past her she barked at him 'get off that!', he thought she was joking (so did I) so he pulled a face and scooted off, she then turned to me and said, 'tell that little shit to get off DDs scooter before he breaks it'.

I coldly said, don't ever call my son a little shit again, the toys are there for the children to play with, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Yes, she said, the LITTLE children, not him.

I told DH and we went and told both our older two (DD is 9) to not play with the bikes and trikes.

I am FURIOUS. The worst thing is, I childmind both her DDs so my three children share ALL their toys with them.

DS is tiny, by the way, he weighs about 3.5 stone and is 135cm, it's not like he's a great hulking preteen like some of his peers. The scooter was a metal one, exactly the same as my DC have.

We had some issues on holiday last year where they scapegoated our DC over things their DD was doing. They let her run around in a restaurant and I asked DD to go and get her, she cried and my sister really shouted at my DD. I don't think she likes my children and she's made it quite obvious.

How on earth do I deal with this? I am actually shaking with rage as I type this. I know that as a parent of younger children, older ones can seem very big and very other, but this was awful.

[PearlyWhites]

Yabu your son was rude and shouldn't have been on toddler toys. Calling him a little shit wasn't nice though purely because you shouldn't swear at children.

[drasticpark]

But this isn't about scooters, is it? Perhaps your sister is unhappy and is envious of you. Just a thought. Surely she realises that calling a child such a vile thing isn't going to be met with agreement from a parent? She sounds angry and unhappy with the world.

[IAmNotAMindReader]

She was wrong to call your DS a little shit. Your DS was wrong to be on a toddlers scooter and pull faces at his aunt.
Those scooters that look like they are suitable for older kids as well really aren't. The welding and materials used are poorer quality and that is reflected in the price.
It doesn't matter how small for his age your son is. My 9 year old bent the frame on one through normal scooting and he is still in age 8 clothes and is skinny.

[NothingsLeft]

I agree that's a terrible thing to say about your DS. It's her nephew & I would be furious too.

I do think you should have stepped in with the scooter though. My 11yr old niece does this with my 1yr old. Not her fault but my sister never puts in boundaries and it annoys me she monopolises the toys.

She can't think badly of you or your kids if you childminder for her, so might just be stressed out with too little ones/having a bad day? I would want an apology for the little shit comment though...

[CantThinkOfAYoniPun]

My son was NOT rude. He pulled a face at what he thought was his Aunt jokily telling him off. He thought (as did I, and as did the other people who heard) that she was mucking around.

And as far as he (and I) was aware there was a selection of toys for all the children to play with, he wasn't to know they were only for the little ones. There were about twenty children there of all ages. DS is the oldest cousin but not the biggest.

I've just looked up the scooter and it says 'maximum weight 50kg'. DS1 weighs less than half that.

[HandMini]

This is clearly quite serious, on the back of the Easter thing as well.

I agree with this: She sounds angry and unhappy with the world.

I would be trying to distance myself slightly and drop the childminding if possible.

[Greydog]

Aunty should have made it clear from the start that the toys were for the younger children only.

[HeySoulSister]

your DS did nothing wrong....poor kid

[Bowlersarm]

She was wrong, not your DS. She should have politely requested to you or to him that he didn't play on the scooter in case he broke it. Not barked at him in front of everyone, and even worse, refer to him as a 'little shit'. Yuk. Really not nice.

You need to speak to her and tell her how it made you feel. If she gets stroppy with you, review the childminding situation.

[BobblyGussets]

Whether your DS was rude or not, for me it is a non-issue and totally in a different league to calling a little boy a "little shit".

I love and cherish my nieces and nephews. This isn't even indifference; she is one sharp, hostile auntie and I wouldn't want my DSs around someone like that.

I hope you're ok OP. Tell her to back off/fuck off.

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

Yanbu. Your son sounds the same as my 8 year old DD and she rides her 5 year old sister's scooter sometimes.

Your sister sounds like she's very precious and your kids possibly seem big, bulky and loud to her tiny ones...she needs to get a big grip though.

[PrinceRogersNelson]

Blimey. I really don't understand people saying that you are being unreasonable. This is one of those times that I read things on Mumsnet and feel that I must have a different set of values to some other people.

People are reading in to this what they want to in order to give the OP a kicking.

The OP has stated that the toys were suitable to her DS. He was told to get off but the situation was misread by both a 10 year old and an adult (the OP) so it is acceptable that the OP's DS did not jump to attention and then a grown adult called him a little shit. And people think that is OK? Honestly?

Would any of you call a child a little shit?

OP YANBU. I would be seriously upset by this. Our nieces and nephews are relations. We should be looking out for them, not calling them vile names.

[SmellsLikeTeenStrop]

Take consolation in the knowledge that your sister has made a fool out of herself by swearing at your son so publicly.

You need to protect your children from being around such a toxic person, I would seriously think of limiting the time they spend around your sister - even if that means reviewing the child-minding situation. Does she pay you?

Finally, I've witnessed a small child being mown down by an older child on a toddlers ride along toy. IME older children go much faster, tend to get in to races with each other and don't watch out for toddlers ambling along. 10 years old is too old to be on a toddler toy, regardless of how small the child is.

[cathers]

YANBU. Your sister sounds unpleasant. She should have said 'be careful please, the scooter may not be ok for a big lad' , que you to check weight limit,! Totally unnecessary bad language. I would be looking at replacing her mindees and have a word with ds about pulling faces at grown ups in case of being msconstrued.

[Loulybelle]

No matter how loud my Niece and Nephew get (2 and 4) i would never call them that, i've called them little monsters in a joking way, that to say "Little Shit" with such venom is disgusting.

[mercibucket]

to summarise

she wanted him to stop playing on one of her children's scooters, even though it is a normal scooter that a child his age and weight would plsy on

already, i think that is unreasonable tbh, for family, at a family event, to be so precious

then she called him a little shit! to his mothers face!

i'd be furious and would immediately stop the childminding as well as demanding an apology

she sounds really rude, selfish and horrible

[Jacksterbear]

Sorry OP I had missed the bit where you'd said that the scooter was the same as your dcs' own, when I posted about the weight limit earlier.

Your sis sounds really unpleasant.

[VelvetSpoon]

I don't think its acceptable for a child that age to a) be riding on a scooter indoors and b) when told to stop to pull a face. If my children are told to do things by adults they don't assume the adult is joking! They do as they are told.

I would and have called a badly behaved child like that a little shit.

Agree with those who suggest you spend less time together, you obviously have different parenting ideas/ expectations.

[bamboostalks]

does she pay you to cm? I would find other clients tbh.

[CantThinkOfAYoniPun]

It wasn't 'indoors', it was inside a great big hall, the party was in one hall and the toys were in the other, big bouncy castle, lots of toys for all the children to share (or so I thought).

My son was NOT being badly behaved, he was scooting around as were the other children.

It sounded like a joke because it was over the top, it was a bizarre, out of nowhere screech at him.

[CantThinkOfAYoniPun]

She does pay me, yes. I LOVE having her girls, I wouldn't want to lose the relationship we have. It woudl just be nice if she could foster the same sort of closeness with my children, she just seems to really dislike them.

[CinnabarRed]

TBF, I thought they were indoors as well - it was your post saying she yelled at him across the hall - I took that to mean hallway rather than hired hall.

Which takes away my one remaining argument in her favour!

SIBU; your DSWNBU; YANBU.