I have a "friend" that is an old family friend of my late DH's. When my DH was ill and in hospital and after he died she was a great help and comfort to me - and fabulous with my (then infant) DS. I considered her a great friend and she became honorary Aunty to DS. I am close to her family and we all get along well most of the time.
She can be very self-centered a lot of the time, but would drop everything if I needed her. But if I don't have a crisis that I need help with she can be very me,me,me. Not maliciously - just very self centered.
She travels frequently to my home country to visit friends there. Her last visit was over Christmas/New Year and while she was in my home country she visited my parents, brothers and a couple of my frien that she has come to know over the years.
I have just returned from visiting my family with my DS and my new DP and his DC. While we were there, I discovered that she had been bad-mouthing my partner to my friends and family and they were all very concerned that I was in a bad relationship. I have set them straight and told them that I am very happy and that we are very much in love. They are very relieved and think that my DP is generally fab now that they have met him!
Now that I am back in the UK, how do I deal with this issue? She has no idea that I know that she said these things, and i am angry that she thought it appropriate to bad-mouth my partner to my family before they could form their own opinions. Also some of the things she said about him show that she really doesn't know me at all - and that she has no faith or respect for me and my life as I choose to live it.
She thinks we are great friends, but I am seriously reconsidering our friendship. I dont want to alienate her family (who we are close to), but I don't think I can continue with the same level of friendship. She obviously thinks I've chosen the wrong man/path in my life, but has not said any of this to me.
I was aware she didn't like my DP but she has only met him a few times so I thought that maybe she needed to meet him a few more times to get to know him. Now I wonder if there is any point as she has clearly made a decision not to like him and has let everyone know.
I don't think I'm articulating myself very well here - but I just wonder how I should approach this. I don't think I can just let it lie (which is what I would have previously done).
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Relationships
How to deal with this issue with "friend"
HMTheQueen · 14/04/2013 10:39
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