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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread no 51

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 13/04/2013 12:59

All tales of online and real life dating here!

OP posts:
SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly · 17/04/2013 09:38

Morning!

Sparky was late finishing work so we ended up having a couple of drinks in the local pub. We get on very well. He apologised for been late and said to make it up to me hes taking me out Thursday night for a meal. So I'm seeing him again tomorrow night!

I'm currently waiting to find out what sex my friends baby is having. Shes text me to say had scan and everything fines with the baby and that she knows the sex but wont tell me yet!

JulietteMontague · 17/04/2013 10:03

kin it seems we are love rivals Grin

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 17/04/2013 10:36

Well, situation with Rick is that he messaged last night (all via the site, haven't swapped phone numbers) to say he has to go down to London Thursday and could we meet an hour later than planned. I replied asking if he'd prefer to postpone as he was going to have a busy day that day, and that was the message that didn't get an answer, so it's a bit more complicated than him just not confirming. I guess I will see if he messages me tonight, which he'll have to do if he wants to meet up as we've not decided on the venue.

I am going to have to ask the stalker bloke why he's asked that question, I think, as it is just a bit odd and has got me feeling a bit strange. Or should I just ignore him?

SS such a shame about the disappearing man as he sounds really good (up to the point of disappearance). I find it so easy to get a bit carried away if I find someone I get on with well with messaging, triumph of hope over experience. Trying desperately not to do it again but I know I am/will! I think Indie might be getting a bit carried away as well - no rude stuff or anything like that but he has been saying how he looks forward to getting my messages and things like that.

Scrazy shame about second date bloke dropping off. I've had that happen more than once. I think your attitude to your ex is spot on.

SP all sounds good!

Juliette I can just picture you swanning about the Med on a yacht with Dutch. Hope the webcam thing goes well.

Secretservice · 17/04/2013 11:38

Where's kin with the crash carp when you need her?

Having a real woe is me moment. He was lovely up to the disappearing OWW. He contacted while abroad, when I tried to cool a little in the early days by leaving it a couple of days to contact him, he messaged to say how disappointed he was, had he said something amiss.

I'm so tempted to get back in touch just to find out what happened, but he probably won't answer will he? God, I feel so pathetic and teary. What if it's me?

Gah. Thought I was stronger than this Sad

KinNora · 17/04/2013 11:53

Secret - here's the crash carp - bbbbbbbrrrrzzzzz - clear !

Juliette - shall we send him exactly the same message, word for word ? Imagine how much that would mess with his mind. Arf

OhWesternWind · 17/04/2013 12:02

SS It's not you at all. I think there are some men out there that really like the messaging, flirting etc and see it as a confidence/ego boost that they can still attract a woman, but are scared of having anything approaching a relationship (even if that's what they say they want). It's crap, but I really think there are a fair number of them like that on dating sites. And even more who don't really want to get past the messaging stage and ever meet up.

I don't think he would reply, and you would probably feel worse if you messaged him and he just ignored it, but it's very difficult if you don't really know what happened and what went wrong. But really, what went wrong is something inside his head and nothing to do with you or anything you said or did.

Juliette and Nora - must have missed something. Are you messaging the same man????

VelvetSpoon · 17/04/2013 12:38

Secret, what Western said. A lot of men on OD sites are not actually looking to meet, and the ones who are often don't want/ can't cope with relationships. Don't bother messaging him, you will either get no reply at all or a bullshit excuse speaks the voice of experience

48howdidthathappen · 17/04/2013 13:10

Juliette and Kin you must Grin

KinNora · 17/04/2013 14:55

OWW it certainly sounds like we've been contacted by the same callow youth man, please let's send him word for word the same message, god it would make me laugh.

JulietteMontague · 17/04/2013 15:54

Kin I'm in Grin

Secret you have to leave this one, what Western and Velvet said is absolutely correct.

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 17/04/2013 16:26

Well I had (another) long chat with Dutch, he's great. He did look like his photos but he had 'chosen well'. He has great hair which he had just shaved off after loosing a bet so looked dramatically different. Getting a teensy bit excited. No need for the crash carp just yet but that time may come Grin

OP posts:
KinNora · 17/04/2013 16:43

Ooooh, Juliette that's really exciting !

Scrazy · 17/04/2013 17:25

So Juliette, when can you meet, does he live abroad?

JulietteMontague · 17/04/2013 18:02

Yes he lives in Dutchland. Not sure what we will do about eeting up, very early days but we were both talking like it is going to happen, him blushing when he realised what he said and me babbling. I've done all this before and consciously decided to avoid doing it again but although this is slightly different no really I want to take it slowly if possible. Messaging live on skype it's very easy to be more open with someone when you are writing and can't see them. It can get very intense, I suppose because its a 'relationship' in a bubble.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 17/04/2013 18:05

A few interesting facts and figs here for daters - my sincere apologies for the daily fail link!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2310485/Facebook-stalking-day-rule-The-new-dating-rules-impatient-digital-generation.html

Secretservice · 17/04/2013 18:24

The carp and your common sense saw me through, thank you all. Flowers

Contacting him would indeed have been a needy, stupid thing to do. A long walk with the dog and a kitchen scrub down also helped to out things into perspective. His loss. Next!!

Maybe time to spring clean my profiles too, a new look for summer!

That early excitement, that trying to supress just makes worse in my case, is such a good feeling Juliette hope it lasts and grows into something more for you and Dutch

OWW did you hear anything more from Rick or the stalker yet?

KinNora · 17/04/2013 19:03

Juliette, he's answered
'Aww sweet, so does that mean your interested?​'

JulietteMontague · 17/04/2013 19:14

ok he's just about to get more interest.. Grin

OP posts:
KinNora · 17/04/2013 19:17
Grin
JulietteMontague · 17/04/2013 19:28

Kin he messaged back

'Does that meant you're interested?' No 'Aww sweet' included.

He's not too bright, is he...

OP posts:
KinNora · 17/04/2013 19:44

What d'you reckon our next step should be ?

OhWesternWind · 17/04/2013 19:48

What are you saying to him?

Send the same message back at exactly the same time.

KinNora · 17/04/2013 19:49

How about - ' Maybe ;-), I have an amateur interest in astronomy, what are your views on the current theories about pulsar formation ?'

KinNora · 17/04/2013 19:52

OWW we each sent him a message saying how unique he made us feel ...

Bant · 17/04/2013 19:53

Stop baiting people.. Poor bloke hasn't done anything wrong apart from a bit of poor spelling and grammar..

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