AIBU re two hours off?

[Happydotcom]

I had a terrible time with PND since ds was born. He's now nearly two and I'd arranged some counselling sessions via GP.

DH came home to look after ds so I could go . I said I'd be gone 1800-2000 with traveling time. Ds had been fine all day and turned phone on silent when I arrived at session.

After my hr was up, I checked my phone.....10 missed calls and horrible texts from DH " if you can be bothered to answer..your son our son is being sick. You need to get home now.

I called as soon as I could and he went nuclear saying I need to get back o start cleaning up!

Arrived home, ds was fine. Vomit everywhere, pile of washing dumped on landing ' for me to do'

AIBU to have gone.....? Ds was honestly fine before and after I got home. He made me feel so guilty for going. It wasn't like I was clubbing!

So, he doesn't think childcare should be a joint responsibility then? Either financially or in terms of actually taking responsibility for his child while he is supposedly looking after him. What a charmer.

I don't usually respond to threads with "LTB", but in this case I think it may well be the best solution to the situation you are in. It's certainly an option that you should be weighing up in your own mind against any theoretical possibility of him stopping being an arse.

Unfortunately a lot of "bit of an arse" men before children turn into "undeniable arse" after children, as their assumptions about what women ought to do (like, all the shitwork) come out into the open.

Off tangent but is your washing machine broken?

Sugar.......no, just getting duvets washed and dried.

I'll ask mnhq to move to relationships.

Okay, just thinking of vomit covered clothes and having no washing machine, nightmare!

Glad to see you moving it to relationships, you will get support and pleas talk to your could seller about this.

Have you kept the text messages?

happy I thought a bit before posting this, as I really don't like to be a drama llama, but I couldn't help noticing....

You left your DH to go and get your hair done (something that makes you feel good about yourself, I guess). DS bangs his head.

You left your DH to go and get counselling. DS was dramatically ill... but then fine when you got back.

Do you think there is a pattern here?

Well observed, Revolting.

I really hope not, Thing. It just... struck me it would be awfully easy for a doctor to give a child something that wouldn't harm them but would irritate their tummy enough to make them throw up.

It wasn't happy's DH with the hair cut

Humphrey
I don't understand your post. Happy does say that DS bumped his head with DH when she was having a haircut.

And why is it your job? It is his child too. What an arse hole

I agree with everyone else. This man sounds nasty, controlling and vindictive. Unfortunately, he is also extremely unlikely to change.

Humphrey I think two separate posters told stories about their DHs calling them out of salons and one was the OP. I think.

Anyhow OP I hope my suggestion hasn't upset you or anything - I do know you and your DH are real people and it must be horrid to think about him in that light.

LTB (first time I've said that in the many, many years I've been on MN). Seriously. Your H sounds awful, absolutely horrible. Do you have access to money? If so (and hopefully there will be a bit in the account, given he's a Dr) I would suggest you leave him now, and go and see a lawyer on Monday. You poor thing, no wonder you have PND if he is always this vile

No access to money sadly. We each have our own accounts.

Revolting.....no, you haven't upset me. Still fuming over last night tbh.

I think I would still be visiting the lawyer tbh....

Do you want to be married to him?

I suspected as much re money :(

I agree ltb and i dont post that normalky.

I am sorry you are in this situation happy keep posting and you will get help and support xxx

Separate accounts when he's on a Doctors wage?? Bet that suits him. Ah, op I think you have a lot to think about. Is this something you can see changing? Do you love him? Do you want to be with him?

Hi happy just wanted to send you some support too. I agree with everyone else. I also had MH troubles which disappeared when I left relationship. Look after yourself.

I will keep posting...you're all so kind. Ds has just decorated the carpet so back after bedtime.

outrageous - it was hardly 2 hours "off" and how were you supposed to know lo would be ill. He's a grown up, his father , he should be able to deal with it with minimal fuss not lay on the guilt. He sounds very controlling and unpleasant .

This is unbelievable- what if you were away like I often am for a couple of days at a time at a conference- if the children get sick during that time then my husband has to care for them for those days til I return, just as I do until he returns if he goes away.

This is deliberate manipulative helplessness with a good dollop of blame!

Why on earth should you deal with the vomity sheets?!

If your answer is: he never does, and never cares for his own child or takes responsibility for them for more than two hours without causing a drama or blaming you completely, then I suggest you move this to relationships and consider your options.

The thing is, YOU are ill. You are ill with something more serious than a vomiting bug or a bad plate of chicken or whatever caused your DS to be ill.

Your DH is a doctor and should know this.

And- as Doctrine says, the absolute priority in your house for the next few weeks should be your counselling sessions. Does he not want you to get better and wake up and realise you a married to a shithead